Rants

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So, how old is this law and why has it never been changed? Everyone whines about the backlog in the courts and overcrowded jails/prisons, so why are outdated laws such as these still on the books? Sounds to me like it's time for a housecleaning...Sylkat

So I just need to get this off my chest here, because I know that if I don't, it's going to fester. Earlier this evening (in fact, about 40 minutes ago, 10 PM Dutch time), I was mugged near the big square I always walk past, in a street that was kind of dark at the time. A guy actually stopped me and asked me for my name, and then I answered that I don't have to give my name to strangers, and this irritated him. So I kept on walking, and he went after me and drove me against the fence surrounding a building, saying he had a gun. I think he was bluffing, but I didn't want to take any risks. So I ended up giving him my money, some 20-something euros, and he also took my phone, so I couldn't call the police. He let me go and told me he'd F me up if I'd go to the police.

So that. I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm quite rattled, as you'll understand. And I'm thinking about breaking the habit of taking evening strolls after sun has set in the future. I mean it's crazy, I've walked through the city thousands of times, that very road, thousands of times, these past 5 years. Nothing ever happened. I guess that's called learning the hard way. I'm going to take the tram next time.

Of course, he only took money and a phone, and I don't care about material things.

Dear Cyclops, I do not want to make this worse for you than it already is, but if he has your phone and you programmed personal information into it, he has your credit card and bank account numbers, and possibly where you live, you need to make calls and cancel accounts; The police need to be notified that you may be watched or threatened as a possible witness...is there anyone you can stay with for at least a week or 2? If you have the money, can you stay in a motel for awhile? I just don't want you to be hurt, okay? Sylkat

Sylkat, perhaps it's fortunate that I don't have a particularly advanced phone, and I only ever used it to make calls and be called. I haven't entered much personal information into it, he didn't get his hands on my ATM card, so he has neither my bank account number nor my personal ATM code.

The main thing I was worried about, is that he'd go through my contacts and stalk my relatives and friends. I've already mailed my two best friends with the message that I can't be reached at my old phone number any more, though I didn't provide the details why.
I considered contacting my mobile service provider to deactivate the number. But I figured he just took the thing so that I wouldn't call the police. He went for intimidation, and it worked. I hope he'll think the phone will be of no use to him, and that he's gotten rid of it already.

Thank you for your advice and concern, I really appreciate it. I've settled down a little by now, and if it's gonna have a fallout, I hope I'll be able to face it with a level head.

Please stay safe, be careful, okay? Sylkat

Might be moving in with my boyfriend. *freaks out*
I feel like I have two sides in my head. And they are fighting each other. I'm happy, because, well I am. I like him and so on. And then I'm overly anxious, scared like a kid and worried.

Sounds good but anxiety-making, 47x.

There's such a weight on my chest. I want to be sitting in the half-sun at a table and I want to be 17 and the only thing I want in my field of vision is a salad with crunchy but sweet lettuce and Greek olives with dressing on it and all I want to have to worry about is spearing the pieces of lettuce and olives with my fork, which will be silver and very smooth and of solid weight, and there will be dapples of sun dancing all over the table and a warmish fresh breeze will blow through and ripple the awning and even the wine glasses clinking against each other will make noise like bells and people's voices will sound like flutes and string instruments and it doesn't matter if I lie my head on the table and take a nap in the warmth, everyone around is so accepting and convivial and humans can't do anything wrong but can only do things right and gentle and soft and bright.

Dear Purchase, May we, the other 57,050 members of WP please go to that restaurant with you? Now? PLEASE?? Sylkat

It's a plan Sylkat! See you all there!

Today starts of great *irony* first my routines were roughly changed at my work and I couldn't grasp anything since my brain died. Now I'm scrambling around to find the left over pieces and out of the blue I'm sent out to work at something completely different with an other person and I have to be social. Fuuuuck.

Just got back from the mi-monthly trip to grocery store hell and I am a wreck as usual between having to drive, dealing with so many people at the store. I knew it was going to be bad in there, I tried to prepare myself calmly and feel protected but didn't work. Too weird - so many people have no manners, loud, bright, mean, crowded, smelly, and then you give them money and they let you leave.

all my friends and people i know in my life drop me like a tone of bricks because of my depression and aspergers, even though im trying really hard to be a good person

Dear Zaann, me, too...seems 'They' want/expect everyone to be alert and perky at all times and as sociable and grinny as kids at a birthday party. Sylkat

edited

Why do I hate myself this much? It's not logical. I keep thinking about hurting myself. I haven't done anything wrong. Wherefore this self loathing?

I said 'wherefore'.

No, really. I can't stand socialising outside of work right now. People just keep talking and talking and I just stare at my shoes having horrible thoughts.

I have such a hard time relating to people. I don't want to be an antisocial a-hole but I just am one. Argh, I have always been like this. I might think that I've gotten better at socialising but I haven't really improved - I just talk to myself less and now I look and smell normal (if a bit plain). I can turn on some sort of small-talk at work but I still can't do it at all when I'm not 'working'. This is because I'm acting at work and it's really exhausting. I don't have the energy to do it on social occasions. I don't have the energy to socialise.