Rants

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Never mind.

Man.

I know and respect and love/dating is a colossal issue for people with autism.

But I can't stand reading the damn love & dating forum anymore.

There's 2 types of people there, the attention seekers, people who complain about not being able to get women and seeking self-pity for their mishaps, or people who think they just got it all figured out. There's a few who are neutral and can offer helpful advice, but god it seems like I can't view a topic in that forum anymore without a fight or some sore older 20s figure whining about his inability to lose his virginity.

I can't help feeling sorry for my sister who's bipolar and far from normalcy at the time being. Often times our parents are so hard on her I really can't imagine how she could recover ever. She needs a peaceful, supporting environment, but on the other hand she herself doesn't feel the need to change her ways, e.g. quit smoking, look after a good psych, give away with grandiose thinking etc. *sigh*

why are things so digusting

So there is this free clinic for pets. I had taken my cat there last year, for her shots. She had some worms in her stool, and I bought her some tapeworm pills at the pet store. I could not get it into her, even with my fiance holding her down. We tried crushing one in some tuna, but she wouldn't eat it. I decided to go to the free clinic and ask for assistance with giving her the pill.

Well, the woman was very, very rude. Because of my poor eye contact, she assumed I was being dishonest about something. So I told her I had Aspergers, and that I was having trouble understanding what she wanted from me, but she continued to be rude. I was nearly in tears. I had had to get up early to come to the clinic, had to stuff my cat into a pet carrier, pay for the medical van both ways, plus I was feeling ill as well. She said that I had to prove I had low income, and that if I could afford to buy pills for my cat, I could afford to go to a vet. I explained that their website had stated that if I had already signed up at the clinic, I didn't need to do so again. She said that I had to do it all over again, and to come back next week with documentation to prove I had low income. No matter what I said, she kept being rude and unfriendly. I hate people right now. I feel like crying.

hartzofspace that is terrible - I wish I could drive for you. That kind of stuff happens to me frequently. I think you should tell her boss or supervisor if you can, when you can, and only if it doesn't cause you even more stress.
- mountain, ( three cats )

Didn't know if this was the best place to post this but I must confess: I was not a happy camper when Obama announced that he was pulling all troops from Iraq by the end of this year, because this means my emotionally unstable ex-boyfriend from high school who practically raped me then drove up to my college to stalk me will be coming back to my hometown. I'm gonna need bodyguard protection or a restraining order or something. I haven't seen him in nearly a decade but the thought of him trying to contact me like he did at my college still scares me.

Wonder what it would be like if i died. Would people cry? Would people laugh? Would people even come?

want everything to f**k off including myself

I've always f***ing hate stereotypes in main stream American media! Has anyone ever seen the Magic School Bus? I really hate how they depict the kids in ethnicity! The Hispanic kid is stereo-typically brown, has an accent and somewhat short... the African-American boy seems to make a rap song occasionally, and the White kids seem to be "normal". As a Mexican-American of Spanish descent and also part German and Arab, I really don't like it. Hispanics are often these "brown or bronze, non-white" people, though in reality a lot of Hispanics aren't like that at all! Another bad cartoon would be El Tigre which used to air on Nickelodeon... thank god it's cancelled. Even though it's made by a Mexican man, it's still stereotypical. The characters are all "bronze people" who live in a crime-ridden city with corrupt cops and then this boy becomes a hero and stops crime... in fact a lot of these "Mexsploitation" or "Blaxsplotation" (I can't really spell the word very well) often have white power cops in a ghetto crushing gangs but the gangs rebel like slaves. Can't they have a POSITIVE depiction. I have almost never seen a White Hispanic in a cartoon (the only exception would be Isabella from Phineas and Ferb, a show that promotes multiculturalism apparently unlike most media these days). Even worse was one day I read a children's book (again created by a Mexican American) that only promoted the stereo-typical "Cholo" boy. Apparently this boy is growing up in a barrio and one point he's at a party he's not supposed to be and suddenly these gangsters from a rival gang show up in a lowrider and shoot a girl who is taken to the hospital. And guess what? The officers who arrived at the seen WERE NORDIC WHITE MEN. The girl survives, and I wish I remembered the name of the book. I would have a fun time writing to the author. Also, on MTV Tr3s, a show called "Lugar Heights" airs and the characters ARE STEREO-TYPICAL LATINO CHILDREN LIVING IN A BARRIO WHO WHINE HOW THE WHITE MAN CONTROLS THEM, THOUGH SOME OF THEM ARE IRONICALLY WHITE. Worse, the misconception that Mexican Americans (and other Hispanic/Latino Americans) considering themselves as part of a "bronze" race is high in this society, even though ironically these people who claim to be part of the "Bronze race" aren't dark-skinned at all and rather look Mediterranean. Stereotypes about African Americans is also high, as they are depicted as sad, dark, barbaric people who love rap music and fried chicken! Really, if you watch these "Blaxploitation" films or any cartoon from the 80s/90s/even today having a black character they almost always have to make a rap song about science! It makes me laugh sometimes, but in many ways it's just annoying how people have rather inaccurate perceptions on race. By the way people, a Caucasian is a person whose ancestors come from Europe, North Africa, the Middle East, Persia or Southwest Asia! Therefore, if your ancestors are from those regions, you are a "Caucasian". Sigh... I hate it when people are ignorant about race...

Dear LostOnTheInternet, You are so right! I'm Irish, Scottish, and German, thus categorized as 'Caucasian', NO BODY among my ancesters lived anywhere near the Caucasus Mountains, what's the deal? Where do these terms come from, anyway? Sylkat

head hurts.

why do i put off going to bed so much

Ok, this rant of mine is completely ridiculous, I know.

So I'm here in this house with girls from different countries who came at different time and with different levels of the local language. I spent months learning the language on my own before coming to this place and now because of my social awkwardness and inability to make friends (not to mention relationships!) I'm more or less stuck on the same level, having only my classes to rely on. And I have these classes just once a week because I'm considered to be at a rather high level. Meanwhile just in a couple of months after their arrival two of the girls got boyfriends who don't speak English and they practice the local language all the time. Obviously, their progress is amazing. What makes things worse, everyone keeps telling me to get a boyfriend to practice more. I think it would be easier for me to freaking start speaking the language fluently than to get a boyfriend. Or a friend, for that matter. My project is 1,5 years long and I'm halfway into it. I don't think much will change and I'll probably go back home without any local friends which for many people is the reason to actually do this kind of a project...

This is one of the things I can't really come to terms with(

The couple who kept arguing loudly next to me on the train, for the whole 3.5 journey, should either split up, or not have 'domestics' on public transportation.

I felt like doing this on the table next to my seat.

Dont you just love being ignored? Aparently for some nothing is enough.

on that note, im just tired of not being able to move my life, the more i try the more things walk away from sight. Not sure theres a turning point anymore. Not sure theres a point anymore.