Confusion, self diagnosis?

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I have far too many conflicting views on myself and autism to come to a solid conclusion, I have a few friends whom, it would seem, agree with me. But I also have a decent amount
of people who disagree completely for varying reasons, and even myself. Sometimes I feel as though there is no possible conclusion otherwise but in the same sense I feel like I am
just assigning my difficulty to understand and deal with situations to this, which in my mind is terribly dishonest, and out of an attempt to appease others I often conclude that
I am just making things up (as I am often accused of) and maybe just seeking attention? But in reality I can't actually decide for either, and it's draining and tends to leave me upset
or exhausted. But I also usually want to discuss this with anyone possible, is this a cry for help or attention? I have been taught by my dad that I am making things up, and
he seems to be right about many things, but my mom and some close friends believe me and I don't want to betray that trust. I just don't think it should take me setting my own world
on fire to figure it out. I would like, and possibly even need, some help trying to determine this. Thank you for reading.

I understand completely. I haven't told my father or anyone in my family about my self diagnosis because they will just say I'm making excuses. I have told friends with mixed results too, some believe, some think I'm full of crap. The local university mental hospital were useless too. What I have been doing is as much research as I can without making my head spin more than it is already. What is kind of sad is that I probably know more about ASD than most doctors at that hospital...they even spelled it wrong!
What I'm going to do is talk to the one family member who understands me the most and have him help with either telling or not telling the rest of my family. I've pretty much decided that I'm only going to tell other people on a need-to-know basis, because the lack of knowledge the general public has about ASD is kind of scary. Lots of judgemental bullies who like to take advantage of our kind. Good luck finding your answers!

Thanks, I'll just keep researching I guess, maybe I'm missing something. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Well i was like you, i made a self-diagnosis before the official one, what you should consider, and i find quite useful clues, is looking at your childhood behavior, i had horrible motor skills, banged my head when overwhelmed, had selective mutism, but nobody really seemed to care, if you think you got at least 90% of the traits, then you might be an aspie, and i searched a lot, like you, and even though i was diagnosed officially, the diagnostic was kinda "shallow" and i probably knew more about it than the psychologist, but if you took your time to search for it to the point of joining and posting on wrongplanet, then you're probably an aspie.

It's good to know that even if I'm wrong I found a place where a can at least have some degree of validity in what I say, thank you for posting.

I can actually relate to your story because I believed I've had it for a while now, and I've told my parents and my sister- as well as a few friends and I too get mixed reactions from people for example, my godmother is strongly insistent that I don't have AS; she's only briefly looked online at the symptoms, yet I've been obsessively researching AS and other Autistic Spectrum disorders for months on end! My mother too reacted strangely; she listened to me when I told her that I think I have it, however is still constantly avoiding the whole situation, and keeps saying she'll make an appointment to get me "sorted out," but never has...

I must say, it's really hard as a self-diagnosed person to communicate with everyone else because most of the time, they just DON'T listen to you...I mean, what's it going to take for them to realize; me breaking down and crying again, in front of my family like I did 4 days ago, or for me to be caught in my daily depressions where I just hang in my room and burst out randomly into tears?!

I understand, my mother 'believes' me as well, but often pretends she has no information regardless of what i have told her or explained.
And often I become upset when I discuss it with my family due to reactions they have, and i have gone into several mental breakdowns over the past 5 years.
I thank you for your post and I hope that the future goes better for you, and myself.

Thanks!- I hope the future will go better for you, too!

For me in a way the future is looking a little less 'bleak'; by that, I mean that my mother did make an appointment to see my General Practitioner; and I spoke to her...but my mum didn't say a word to her and made me say everything (which was very hard because I'm not very good with expressing my feelings to others, or talking unexpectedly about things). Although, my GP was quite understanding; she listened to me carefully and tried to give me advice. She said she was going to organize a referral appointment to talk to someone about my concerns...but, she still hasn't done anything about it (this was over two weeks ago).

Well I'm very glad for you, I'll soon be living with a friend who can help me get by the day-to-day, so it's looking up for me too.
Thank you all again.