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Ever been the "social butterfly-party goer"? help?

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right-hand-child
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11 Dec 2011, 5:56 pm

If so, what does it feel like? Other peoples lives seem amazing to me, I just don't understand how super social people keep chugging along at light speed. Are people like that just as depressed as everyone else? I don't see how anyone could possibly be so happy and social all the time and not be faking one bit of it. Does everyone really feel the same way?


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Aimless
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11 Dec 2011, 6:09 pm

I was at a party once and the men were flocking around me and were hanging on my every word. I felt just like Scarlett O'Hara at the big barbeque. Then I noticed the only other woman at the party was making out with her boyfriend on the couch. :roll:
Usually I'm just invisible.


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right-hand-child
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11 Dec 2011, 6:23 pm

Aimless wrote:
I was at a party once and the men were flocking around me and were hanging on my every word. I felt just like Scarlett O'Hara at the big barbeque. Then I noticed the only other woman at the party was making out with her boyfriend on the couch. :roll:
Usually I'm just invisible.

Yup that sounds pretty much like what I'd expect.

I just don't get it though. What is it super social people see in parties? Do they get this awesome buzzing amazing supersonic feeling every time they're near lots of people they're talking to? Are they purely just meeting places for couples (for lack of a better word) to hook up at? And why am I an antisocial freak for owning a games console? I don't get it...It can't be just because these people are dim, can it? I'm not gonna just brand all these people as idiots, I just don't see it their way.


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12 Dec 2011, 12:14 am

No, I'm very much an introvert. When I socialize I'd rather be with a small group of friends otherwise I can't really hear anyone or keep up with the conversation. I would be untrue to myself if I tried to be an extrovert. When I have to attend a large social event it takes me days to recover. Yes, some people like that kind of thing, but they're extroverts. That's the way they are, and yes, that's one way they get their energy.


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12 Dec 2011, 3:58 pm

right-hand-child wrote:
I just don't get it though. What is it super social people see in parties? Do they get this awesome buzzing amazing supersonic feeling every time they're near lots of people they're talking to? Are they purely just meeting places for couples (for lack of a better word) to hook up at? And why am I an antisocial freak for owning a games console? I don't get it...It can't be just because these people are dim, can it? I'm not gonna just brand all these people as idiots, I just don't see it their way.
It is something similar to that. As an extrovert, I have well experienced that feeling. I become exhilarated when I'm in large groups of people and get into a state of a high where I can talk really fast and everything seems just amazing. And I rarely drink at parties. I just get "high on life". I don't know why I crave connections with people and being around people so much. It's one of those things I just can't explain...


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right-hand-child
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13 Dec 2011, 1:20 pm

MathGirl wrote:
right-hand-child wrote:
I just don't get it though. What is it super social people see in parties? Do they get this awesome buzzing amazing supersonic feeling every time they're near lots of people they're talking to? Are they purely just meeting places for couples (for lack of a better word) to hook up at? And why am I an antisocial freak for owning a games console? I don't get it...It can't be just because these people are dim, can it? I'm not gonna just brand all these people as idiots, I just don't see it their way.
It is something similar to that. As an extrovert, I have well experienced that feeling. I become exhilarated when I'm in large groups of people and get into a state of a high where I can talk really fast and everything seems just amazing. And I rarely drink at parties. I just get "high on life". I don't know why I crave connections with people and being around people so much. It's one of those things I just can't explain...


Ah. I can sort of understand that feeling. It's just...hard for me to make friends with extroverts. Which is a shame because some of them seem to be pretty interesting. I guess what I'm moaning about is my inability to mingle with large crowds. I guess you can say something like "Mind if I sit with you guys?" but where do you go from there?

That said, I guess this doesn't really belong in the haven, but I kind of have my answer now anyway. I just like to hear people's opinions.


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MarcusTulliusCicero
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13 Dec 2011, 1:48 pm

I keep it real. I guess I also don't worry about it.



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13 Dec 2011, 2:17 pm

right-hand-child wrote:
Ah. I can sort of understand that feeling. It's just...hard for me to make friends with extroverts. Which is a shame because some of them seem to be pretty interesting. I guess what I'm moaning about is my inability to mingle with large crowds. I guess you can say something like "Mind if I sit with you guys?" but where do you go from there?
I just go on about random stuff, laugh at random stuff, act all crazy and generally just don't care. I go to parties to enjoy myself and not care what other people think of me. It's not a job interview.

And I do for some reason tend to enjoy being around introverts more. I think introverts just tend to talk about interesting things more.


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13 Dec 2011, 2:24 pm

Charlie Brooker says this best...

Charlie Brooker wrote:
I'm convinced no one actually likes clubs. It's a conspiracy. We've been told they're cool and fun; that only "saddoes" dislike them. And no one in our pathetic little pre-apocalyptic timebubble wants to be labelled "sad" - it's like being officially declared worthless by the state. So we muster a grin and go out on the town in our millions.

Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can't hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level. And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.

Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they "enjoy" clubbing. They don't. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.

Drugs render location meaningless. Neck enough ketamine and you could have the best night of your life squatting in a shed rolling corks across the floor. And no one's going to search you on the way in. Why bother with clubs?

"Because you might get a shag," is the usual response. Really? If that's the only way you can find a partner - preening and jigging about like a desperate animal - you shouldn't be attempting to breed in the first place. What's your next trick? Inventing fire? People like you are going to spin civilisation into reverse. You're a moron, and so is that haircut you're trying to impress. Any offspring you eventually blast out should be drowned in a pan before they can do any harm. Or open any more nightclubs.

Even if you somehow avoid reproducing, isn't it a lot of hard work for very little reward? Seven hours hopping about in a hellish, reverberating bunker in exchange for sharing 64 febrile, panting pelvic thrusts with someone who'll snore and dribble into your pillow till 11 o'clock in the morning, before waking up beside you with their hair in a mess, blinking like a dizzy cat and smelling vaguely like a ham baguette? Really, why bother? Why not just stay at home punching yourself in the face? Invite a few friends round and make a night of it. It'll be more fun than a club.


Original article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... on.comment



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28 Dec 2011, 5:31 pm

I totally fake it.
I act a totally different person at parties and in clubs, normally I just get very drunk fall into the music block out everything else and say whatever pop's into my head, I think being attractive makes a big difference people think im quirky rather that downright odd because I am attractive and I dress in a mainstream way, normally I dress like a scruffy teenager fuzzy hair pulled back tracksuit bottoms or leggings then when i do go out I'm like Hermonie Granger at the yule ball ^.^
I find the whole make up thing fun once in a while, like a pretend game, but no way I could do it every day, normally after I go out I have a depression anxiety meltdown the next day and refuse to leave the house or get dressed for weeks I dont know what it is, cos I feel fine at the time, it just gets to me.



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30 Dec 2011, 7:44 pm

For me it depends on the vibe of the party. If there's a lot of people I know then I love it. On the other hand, if I'm with only a couple of people I know, then I'll tend to hate it. Especially if, say, I'm with a mate, mate sees someone they know but I don't, starts having some in-depth conversation with them, leaving me standing around looking like a knob and being bored.


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31 Dec 2011, 9:36 am

Laddo wrote:
For me it depends on the vibe of the party. If there's a lot of people I know then I love it. On the other hand, if I'm with only a couple of people I know, then I'll tend to hate it. Especially if, say, I'm with a mate, mate sees someone they know but I don't, starts having some in-depth conversation with them, leaving me standing around looking like a knob and being bored.

Ahh. That one I can more identify with. probably why I hate the idea of raves and stuff.


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31 Dec 2011, 9:38 am

I love parties. Parties are the best form of medicine.



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02 Jan 2012, 11:32 pm

One time I joined a club that gathered to go to art exhibitions and discuss art. The first meeting I went to, we looked at the art and attended a lecture, and then one of the people suggested that everyone go to a cafe.

I thought it would be a good chance to practice social skills as I know quite a bit about art (it was my obsession as an adolescent for a few years). However at the cafe someone politely asked what my other hobbies were. I mentioned computers, and without thinking (and possibly because I was nervous), I launched into a very detailed description of buffer overflows and how dangerous the associated vulnerabilities and exploits are and how botnets botnets work, and how difficult they are to defend against. I am not sure how long this went for but I remember my little pot of tea going cold long before I stopped "wowing the crowd".

I didn't realise until I got home what an idiot I had made of myself. I didn't go back to that club, I think they would have run away if they had seen me again :oops:



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03 Jan 2012, 6:28 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Charlie Brooker says this best...

Charlie Brooker wrote:
I'm convinced no one actually likes clubs. It's a conspiracy. We've been told they're cool and fun; that only "saddoes" dislike them. And no one in our pathetic little pre-apocalyptic timebubble wants to be labelled "sad" - it's like being officially declared worthless by the state. So we muster a grin and go out on the town in our millions.

Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can't hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level. And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.

Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they "enjoy" clubbing. They don't. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.

Drugs render location meaningless. Neck enough ketamine and you could have the best night of your life squatting in a shed rolling corks across the floor. And no one's going to search you on the way in. Why bother with clubs?

"Because you might get a shag," is the usual response. Really? If that's the only way you can find a partner - preening and jigging about like a desperate animal - you shouldn't be attempting to breed in the first place. What's your next trick? Inventing fire? People like you are going to spin civilisation into reverse. You're a moron, and so is that haircut you're trying to impress. Any offspring you eventually blast out should be drowned in a pan before they can do any harm. Or open any more nightclubs.

Even if you somehow avoid reproducing, isn't it a lot of hard work for very little reward? Seven hours hopping about in a hellish, reverberating bunker in exchange for sharing 64 febrile, panting pelvic thrusts with someone who'll snore and dribble into your pillow till 11 o'clock in the morning, before waking up beside you with their hair in a mess, blinking like a dizzy cat and smelling vaguely like a ham baguette? Really, why bother? Why not just stay at home punching yourself in the face? Invite a few friends round and make a night of it. It'll be more fun than a club.


Original article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... on.comment


I can't even begin to describe how much I f*****g hate clubs


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right-hand-child
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07 Jan 2012, 5:56 pm

alessi wrote:
One time I joined a club that gathered to go to art exhibitions and discuss art. The first meeting I went to, we looked at the art and attended a lecture, and then one of the people suggested that everyone go to a cafe.

I thought it would be a good chance to practice social skills as I know quite a bit about art (it was my obsession as an adolescent for a few years). However at the cafe someone politely asked what my other hobbies were. I mentioned computers, and without thinking (and possibly because I was nervous), I launched into a very detailed description of buffer overflows and how dangerous the associated vulnerabilities and exploits are and how botnets botnets work, and how difficult they are to defend against. I am not sure how long this went for but I remember my little pot of tea going cold long before I stopped "wowing the crowd".

I didn't realise until I got home what an idiot I had made of myself. I didn't go back to that club, I think they would have run away if they had seen me again :oops:

Trust me...I've done worse.

In fencing. Annoying kid. Meltdown. Nuff said.


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