Life Problems

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My parents love my neurotypical sister, and they do not love me.

Today they took her shopping she does not have a job, and thus has a great deal of free time, they got her all of the food she wanted\needed, and they got me one item.

They went shopping at a place where I enjoy grocery shopping (Costco if you must know) and EVERY time I go there, there are three things I get (Sometimes I get other stuff too, but every time, I get these three things)

Tomatoes
Bagels
and chips

They went shopping there, and got me one item

An item that contains an ingredient to which I am allergic - Dangerously allergic (It triggers my grand mal\tonic clonic seizures) to
Further, it contains rosemary, which I hate, and have made my hatred of known for more than a decade.

They told me that they picked something for me because I wasn't there.

I wasn't able to be there because I was working - at my job

Now, let us recap

Sister has no job, and gets supported
I have job, and am expected to handle my own s**t

Parents know that this particular ingredient could potentially kill me
They get me an item that includes it.

I am told that I don't get a say in things because I am not present
I am not present because I have a job (Read, am trying to be a responsible human being)

WHAT THE EVER LOVING F@*#

Sister is NT - when she goes on a job hunt she gets one within the first two to three interviews EVERY time

I had to work VERY hard to get my job where my managers often ask me why I don't work someplace better - and I can't explain to them that it's because I am competing against people who are far more able to manipulate situations (I applied for 1645 jobs to get this one...)

Life is so damn unfair, and I don't know what to do.

I hate being more capable than my "Peers" More competent than my managers, and still held back because social interaction is such a great obstacle.

And I'm so lonely.

I do think you may be right. Do you live with them? If so, I suggest you save up for a place of your own, and then minimize contact. Just call them once a week to say "Hi", see how they are and let them know you are fine. It will bug the H out of them if you do that, because they won't be able to push your buttons all the time anymore, and they will also be bugged by your being able to do fine without them. It will also bug your sister, as your parents will start to expect more of her, once you are doing well without their help.

Just think! You can get their goat just by moving out--without doing anything nasty! Have fun with this! After you move take pictures of yourself enjoying your new life and send them the pix. That will bug them, too, but it is not officially a nasty act, so they can't complain.

I lived with NT relatives most of my life and we all drove one another crazy. I have lived alone for the past 6 1/2 years, and never want to live with others again. It is much less stressful this way, and it is peaceful most of the time, too.

Once you move, enjoy your freedom, and remember, we on WP are your friends.

That most certainly does not mean they love her more than you. In most families there are times when one kid gets more than the other kids for whatever reasons. This year my son got an Xbox Kinect and games while my daughters got about $100 worth of Christmas presents. The reason for that was that he didn't get a birthday present so it was combined. Nobody complained and said we love him more than them.

When I go to the grocery store and one of the kids hasn't asked me to pick up something specific for them, I use my own judgement and get them something. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. I can't remember all the idiosyncracies of each kid as to what they like and don't like. If I make a mistake, I'm sorry, but it's not like I did it on purpose. That may be what happened with your parents.

If you live with your parents and they bought all those groceries for your sister but got you one thing I'd say that was pretty fair. They buy your other groceries don't they? Or at least supply you with shelter, utilities, etc. I seriously doubt they were trying to exclude you. They probably thought it wouldn't be a big deal to you. Parental love isn't measured in stuff.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Perhaps they feel more relevance towards your sister or they see her as more adequate socially so they treat her as more of a relevant factor in their life. You on the other hand are different to them so they will misunderstand you and not feel that same amount of relevance towards you.

You sound very competitive with your sister. They're helping your sister out because she doesn't have a job. I don't understand why you seem to feel it affects you. Now that they got something for your sister do you feel they "owe" you?

They didn't get your 3 items because how are they supposed to know? Just because it's the centre of your universe doesn't mean the next person notices. They got you one item though, isn't that something to be grateful for? Yeah they made a mistake with the ingredients but it obviously wasn't on purpose. The fact they're thinking about you says a lot.


As for the rest, work on it, aint no one gonna help you but you. Do i have to point out that there's nothing stopping you solving those problems you mentioned? What's the problem, knowing where to start?

*meant to be in a positive tone*

1. I pay rent, she who has moved back home, does not
2. I buy all of my own food, occasionally I will use something from the kitchen, but it is unusual as they all have different diets from me
3. oliveoilmom - if one of your kids had a potentially lethal allergy, and you forgot it, you're a sh***y mom.
4. My parents remember every stupid aspect of my sister's life, they work very hard on doing things right by her, but they can't remember that I have certain routines that I've stuck to for as long as I have had capacity to do so? They can't remember that certain foods trigger my epilepsy, which could potentially kill me, and does increases the amount of brain damage I have to deal with?

^^ I wouldn't forget an allergy, no. I had no way of knowing whether or not you had even informed your parents of the allergy, or if it was an allergy diagnosed by a doctor or a sensitivity that you found on your own, which they may or may not take seriously. None of mine have food allergies, but two of them do have drug allergies, and of course I keep up with that even though they are 15 and 16 years old and do their own talking at the doctor visits now.

They may not have looked closely at the label, if it's a new allergy dx they may have forgotten, theres lots of things it could be. I'm simply trying to point out that your parents probably do love you just as much as your sister, even they only got you one thing at the grocery store and got the wrong thing at that. I would imagine that if they didn't love you they wouldn't allow you to still live with them. If someone was living with me that I didn't love or care about, I'd certainly ask them to move out. Of course you can choose to measure their love for you by grocery store items if you wish, but as a parent I'd like to point out thats not the best way. Have you talked to them about it and told them how you feel? If one of mine thought I didn't love them because I got them only one (wrong) thing when I went to Wal Mart I'd certainly want to know so that I could clear up the problem. I'd suggest that you talk to them about it. Maybe that can make you feel better.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com