scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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0 I feel good about dealing with something that has bothered me for years, yet I feel bad for waiting so long to deal with it.

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Last edited by i_wanna_blue on 01 Mar 2012, 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

+5, what the hell is going on, earlier I had a weird shut down/panic attack thing because I was hit with some overwhelming stress and now I feel better...I totally forgot what +5 feels like.

-8
Despite my best efforts to make any positive changes in my life, things have really not gone anywhere for quite awhile now. Sending out job applications every other week for the past couple years now has only ever resulted in a couple short interviews and still others that were cancelled. Its especially insulting when you see ads about how apparently the economy is getting better.
Possibly getting a loan and going to college isn't an option because it's not a safe bet and I'd rather not be in debt if I still can't find a job afterwards. Stuff like welfare or disability or whatever else doesn't sound too appealing either, because I don't feel I'm truly worse off and deserve to have others' hard earned money pay for me to sit on my *** all the time.

Can't seem to lose any more weight no matter how I change my diet or how much I exercise. In fact, it seems I'm only gaining more weight now despite the fact that I've been eating healthier and being more active. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong. Staying away from carbs and sugar like I've been doing all along shouldn't be having the opposite effect on me now.

Hardly speak to any friends anymore. Not that its really their fault or that I don't like them or anything. Just that I feel like I shouldn't be boring them to death considering absolutely nothing goes on in my life to talk about, and really can't relate to what goes on in theirs as a result.

So really I feel stuck and that there's nothing I can do about most of it. Doing what little I can is, in the long run, meaningless/futile/etc. Whatever happens next is up to fate, and since that doesn't really exist, I'm pretty much screwed. Seems like I've just been set up for failure, having been told that I should enjoy childhood and not worry about becoming an adult. Don't know what to do with myself anymore. Hobbies have turned to hollow distractions with the knowledge that I lack any sort of purpose or usefulness. Nothing is fun or feels good outside of shallow immediate gratification, nor rewarding or meaningful.

I think the media is using what I call the "sugar pill" tactic, and failing in the process lately.

1: Manipulate target into thinking that their imagination and your candy pills (stories) make life happier and easier. "If you delude yourself into thinking it makes everything better, then it does."
2: Watch target use and accept, but not get better.
3: Repeat step one.

awesome!
-4

now its more like a 0 maybe +1, I just have a lot on my mind so the +5 could only last so long but it was awesome while it did.

6.

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Last edited by i_wanna_blue on 01 Mar 2012, 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

-10 a hellish trip...I'm feeling terrible.

-3, serious amounts of anxiety and stress

0, my minds been screwing with me all day.....and I feel quite numb.

+/- 9
not sure which, I feel amazing and terrible at the same time.

-3 I can't sleep! I tried going to sleep at my usual 10 or 11 PM and now it is past 3 AM!! ! I hope I am not going back into an insomnia attack. Insomnia attacks causes psychotic breaks in me. If they last more than 3 days I start having problems. I also had a small psychotic break while trying to sleep. It caused my heart rate to race and I also had racing thoughts and minor hallucinations. Also I thought with conviction that my mom was trying to kill me. I know know that is physically impossible because she never has hurt me before. It came out of nowhere. I thought that she would run at me with a knife and also try to rip my eyes out. I actually heard the footsteps racing toward me! It was scary. It wasn't a dream, I was fully aware of what was going on around me. I just can't sleep.

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Last edited by i_wanna_blue on 01 Mar 2012, 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

0

Burnt a YouTube troll's butt and feel better now. Why do idiots comment such hateful bull s**t at me for no reason anyway? He's also a very stupid troll to. I call him Mr. f**ktard.

-1