lonelyness, caused by all the suffering and abuse.

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I'm feel so alone, I've never had a real freind, and all I want in life is one good freind who'll stay by me for life.

It's become quite clear that few people actually want freinds anymore, no one seems to feel a need for social interactions.
the fact is It really is killing me inside to live like this, knowing no one will ever love me. I know my life means nothing to anyone, and I rarely get to meet people no matter where I go or what I do. the few people I meet avoid me afterwards.

And all this is becuase the high school I went to abused me. I'm 18 now in a few days I'll be 19. and im still living with the horrors of the hatred people have for me. I cant figure out why they singled me out and forced all this misery and suffering upon me.

The abuse didn't end at the school just last year I was beaten by Hospital staff, who just didn't want to help out, so they refused to care for my needs, then beat me, then blamed me for it and lied to the police so they got me arrested, I end up being "guilty" for something I didnt do, and now I'm stuck with 4 years of probation for "aggraveted assualt" and again I didnt assualt anyone, the careless docter assualted me!!.

I've got no one to turn to, my life is full of endless abuse and neglect. what should I do?

why is this abuse allowed and accepted!? no one should have to live under these painfull conditions. the whole world seems to take part in the constant assualt of people like me. how is it acceptable to let this continue? personally I stongly feel it's time for anyone and everyone who is forced into this sort of horrible mess to work together to fight agaisnt this sort of cruelity!!

1. We here at WP are your friends!

2. You should look into getting a lawyer who specializes in civil rights, and disability cases. And then file both an appeal of your conviction, and a counter suit.

3. You should also ask family members and other who know you if there is something you say or do, without intending to, that turns people so against you that they will even beat you up. It sounds to me like this may be what is happening in your case. Remember, we on the spectrum often have trouble reading other people, so you may not realize you have made people that mad, until they are actually beating you up. You really need to find out what it is that you have been doing that bothers people so much. Then you can try not to do it any more.

The other possibility is that you make it so plain to others that you are an easy target, that some of them just can't resist trying to "hit" the target, whether physically or in other ways.

Either way, you need to find out from people who know you just what you are doing that keeps getting you in trouble.

4. As for your obvious, and understandable depression, you need to find things to do to keep yourself occupied and distracted.

- Exercise, this releases mood boosting endorphins.
- Listen to and/or play music. This is also mood boosting, and soothing.
- Watch funny stories on TV/DVDs or read them. Laughter also releases mood boosting endorphins.
- Take courses, either in person or online. Some online courses are free.
- Hobbies.
- Play computer games.
- Surf the I-net.
- Volunteer with charities. There are people out there who are worse off than we are.
- Join a club.

I realize that some of these suggestions may not appeal to you right now, such as attending classes in person, or joining a club, but most of the others you can do by yourself while you deal with other things in your life.

I do know how you feel. I am in my early 50s now. They didn't recognize Autism/Asperger's back when I was growing up. We were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems, and as being discipline problem kids. School was a night mare--mostly the other kids, but the teachers weren't much help, and a few were jerks. The psych docs and therapists were no real help either. Due to extreme shyness when I was very young, I was never a social butterfly. With my Asperger's problems added onto that, it finally got to the point where I found being solitary was better than being with people, so now I am basically a hermit by choice. I do run errands okay, and occasionally see relatives. I will say hello to the neighbors, etc., but I don't socialize beyond that, and I prefer it that way now.

Now that spectrum disorders are recognized and understood, at least a little, there is more help available for you younger members of the club, so there is a chance for a better future for you guys. Take advantage of what is available, and do talk to your relatives about what you may be doing that sets people off. Now take care of yourself and take care of business.

questor did all the psychological help I planned on giving on this...I can advise you on how to find friends though.

I have used artistic interests, music and outdoor recreation like hiking to connect with people. All you need is one or two reliable friends though; that's the plus side of aspergian socialization. Just feeling like there's someone there would help greatly.

I recommend you find people that have the same interests and maybe try to start up conversations with people on what interests you in public events. Could just listen and wait until you find a nearby conversation that is on something you like. I found a good way of joining the conversation is "I couldn't help overhearing, (then add your thoughts on it)" It sounds stupid, but most people are extremely inattentive.

Why do you think they need 100 friends? Lack of attention.

As for the depression...I recommend sensory therapy. That's assuming you have hypersensitivity of course...surely for that sense there's a way to use it to bring you joy whenever you start to feel down on yourself. When you start feeling happy for short periods, ease off of that and start using your favorite activities to get out of depression.

Unfortunately I can't help you in the abusive parents realm. Mine are neglectful, but hardly abusive.

I was abused by children in elementary school though and it led me to trust older people more. Could find a peer group you always respected to help heal the emotional wounds.

Someone, either on WP or another aspie forum, recommended the book A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior. I found this quote very helpful towards understanding how I am out of sync with the NT world with regards to friendships:

"If you spend time among NTs and have been confused by their use of the word “friend,” try substituting in your mind the term “strategic ally.”

If you want NT friends, form a strategic alliance but knowing about something they want to learn, or in some other way becoming attractive to them as an ally. Otherwise, try to find aspie friends.