Is faith my drug of choice?

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Although I'm going to talk about religion, I didn't want it in the religion forum because that seems more about debating the details of individual religions and not about personal issues with faith. I think this is more of a Haven thing. I'm sorry that this is long, but it's complicated and I'm trying my best to explain.

I was raised Catholic. I once considered becoming a nun, but at a critical moment in my personal journey, a seminarian with whom I worked closely died. While it was largely coincidental, my faith died then too. Since then, I've taken serious objection to other items in modern Catholicism, including some items that I just hadn't considered when I was younger and less worldly.

As I've continued on in life, including marrying and having a child, I've felt that absence of faith. I am generally a skeptic, science-oriented, and I don't consider myself the sheep-type. That said, I envy people who have faith, regardless of their particular religion, and the peace of mind that goes with it. I crave it for myself. For the last two years, I've been attending a Unitarian Universalist congregation. That meets my need for fellowship but the independence of a defined spiritual path is still leaving me feeling adrift. I miss feeling the grace of God.

In the last year, I've come to know and slowly become part of a Muslim community through work. With them, particularly with other mothers, I see their faith and it's beautiful to me. While I once read a common-English translation of the Qur'an during university, I've been re-reading it this year using a more correct translation. I've also been discussing the Qur'an and modern Muslim life in a group for Muslim converts. While the language used for it differs, I see there the grace of God again. In Islam, I also see a few "fixes" to some of the larger difficulties I had with Catholicism. While it's not perfect - what religion is?

I'm seriously considering converting but I am afraid. My fear comes not from the fact that this particular religion has become attractive to me. It's more that any particular religion has become so attractive to me. I view faith as a serious commitment and truly believe that it takes a leap to set aside my natural instincts to be coldly logical and accept the existence of God and the regimen of a particular set of beliefs. But am I just looking for a combined outlet for and antidote to my aspie-ism? One of the beautiful things about adhering to a religion is that it gives you both a defined set of rules and a place to set things that are too troubling or difficult to answer - you can hand them over to God.

So I'm looking for guidance here. Am I just looking for an escape? Some people use drugs or drink, maybe I use religion? If this is a disaster and I really burn bridges, this would cause problems for me at work.

its funny you find that you'd compare religion to a drug for i found a drug that seems more like a religion. that aside is it not possible to see both the bible and the qur'an as a word of god rather then the word of god? is it not possible to believe without adhering to a religion? i don't think that looking for a escape from materialist existentialism is wrong for it is a ultimatly unforfilling view of the world. remember that not everything can be said in words and that not all there is, is logical.

No, a drug is a physical substance one ingests.

Don't be Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, Hindu, Jedi or whatever. Be like Jesus.

I don't see how anyone could seriously have the kind of thoughts that you're talking about having.

You know that religion is a lie, but you want to find the most comforting lie to believe in?

Yes, faith is definitely your drug of choice.

And these noisy ads... That is IT. Out of here.

Please, don't talk us down like that. It's you that believe the lie.

Redacted

Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Don't know.

My spiritual life or religious life involves a lot of questioning and re-evaluation of what I think, believe, feel, perceive, know.

I think that's part and parcel.

One of the identified common stages found on the spiritual path is the 'dark night of the soul'

I don't really think it's just a set of beliefs you adopt and then you're done, all the answers there, happy forever. It's a process, and sometimes you need to fall back to go forward again.

I don't think you really need to convert, but perhaps identify what it is about Islam that is connecting with you now.

I have no official affiliation with any particular spiritual or religious sect. I have a soft spot for Buddhism.

I'm not entirely sure why it would be necessary to "convert" It seems to me that a person believes what they believe and that should be enough. Making a declaration to a specific organized religion seems unnecessary. If the philosophies contained within Islam provide some useful meaning to you, then those philosophies should work whether you join a church or not.

The way I understand the word "faith" to be used is it is the belief in something for which there is no evidence. Trust, on the other hand, I would define to be that which you believe in because there is evidence to suggest that it is likely true.

I think one always runs a great risk when relying on faith because the human mind is quite adept at fooling itself. It is easy to allow biases, misconceptions and hopes to influence the reality you believe in if your reality is based on faith. Knowing that humans are prone to error, it seems a better route to rely on evidence and philosophies that are based on the world we actually experience. This is not to say that there is no value to be derived from religions. All religions contain philosophies that do not require the mythology of the religion to remain valid. "Judge not, lest ye be judged" "Don't kill people" "Be generous to the poor and weak" These are all concepts that any atheist could happily get behind. I would recommend making a deeper study of religion and find what has true value. I don't see where there is much point in putting value on the parts of religion that do not apply to life on earth.

I suppose some people enjoy the ritual and ordered rules of many religions. It doesn't do much for me so I can't really comment on that. But about religion giving you a place to set things that are too troubling or difficult to answer, it seems to me that handing these questions over to god is achieves nothing. It seems no different from simply saying "Here is a thing I have no answer for. I'll just ignore it." I find it better to recognize that life does not provide easy answers to everything. Some things remain a mystery. Other things remain troubling and those conflicts may never be resolved. That's life. You may chose to ignore these problems, but I see no reason to resort to religion in order to do so.

I guess my point is that it might be useful for you to think deeply about what it is you are really seeking in faith. Will having a faith in some religion really provide a way to lead a fuller, better life? Or is it, as you seem to be worrying, a drug that simply allows you to anesthetize yourself from life? The way I see it, the only way to get closer to a real understanding of life is to honestly examine only those things that actually exist in life. Relying on faith embraces a view of the world that may very well be nothing more than the product of wishful thinking and thus risks basing an entire world view on crumbling feet of clay.

I avoid the Religion sub-forum religiously. I therefore only respond in your thread because it is in the Haven.

You're right, the personal questions about religion are their own area of thought, even though they could not be said to be entirely unconnected from some doctrinal issues. That is, from the doctrinal issues which directly and necessarily address the follower's feelings, and not just what the person "ought" or "ought not" do in the form of actions. These would include doctrines which are designed to state what is true and what is not, as opposed to what the follower must or must not do. In response to those doctrines, personal feelings are the essential ingredient: the validity of your religiosity depends upon whether you feel that the religion's truth doctrines are accurate, inaccurate, or mostly accurate or inaccurate.

And that leads me to my question: Did I understand the OP to be asking whether or not she should decide to believe in something? Let us define our terms. I would say that if you believe in Islam, you already are Muslim in your heart, even though the official and outward action of converting still would need to be done in order for Muslims to consider you to be one of them. On the other hand, you also seem to be saying (correct me if wrong) that having faith in Islam or any diety would require suspending your logic because faith conflicts with it. In that case, yes, it would be contradictory for you to hold logic which conflicts with religion and then, at the same time, to join a religion. Do you see what I'm saying? I think anytime we're about to "decide to believe" something, we're contemplating engaging in an exercise of self-trickery. In that case, your mental act of suspending your logic in order to make a certain leap of faith acts as the "drug".

You might be indeed just looking for an escape. On the other hand you might be finding a way to deal with the Hard Questions and "handing them over to God" is a description that actually works for you, really really works for you.

Only you know the answer to this. It probably shouldn't be for anyone else to provide a decision for you. We can't tell you about your beliefs, at best each of us can tell you about our own beliefs. For example:

The only advisory I have in mind is: some of the forms of al-Islam carry a bunch of dogma [2], like Western-Rite Catholicism, that other adherents sometimes find difficult to separate from the core of the faith [1]. For me, I've found that I'm okay with considering someone a Supplicant to God in their hearts if they take to heart the messages within the Suras, whether or not they've told an Imam (where applicable). In the end, what *I* think about the person doesn't count, what *that person* feels, senses, believes, matters to that person.

I would posit the same is true of you: the community you've found among other Muslim women: in the absence of any particular external pressure from themselves, the peace and the mercy you feel in the Prophet's (pbuh) words and the message he brings is up to you, whether or not you publicly convert.

[1] I'm guessing you're aware of this but I feel it's worth pointing out.

[2] My phrasing, no one else's. The actions that accompany the words that some find so important, well, they're important to them.

Anything that alters the way you think or feel alters your brain chemistry, and is thus a drug.

Food is a drug, TV is a drug, a book is a drug, porn is a drug, self righteousness and looking down on others is a drug, saying "thus" in a normal sentence is a drug, believing in happy fantasy worlds is a drug, Jesus is crack cocaine.

Whose lie do I believe?

Thanks folks. This gave me some nice things to think about and was extremely helpful.

Just one clarification, because I phrased something badly. I do believe in a god and it's completely consistent with my personal logic and worldview to do so. However, I see a distinction between believing in the existence of a general higher power (or lower-case god, as I think of it) to believing in the existence of a specific God, tenets of faith, and feel/see his work in your life (the Grace bit). So I'm not faced with choosing to embrace something that is inconsistent with my existing beliefs that it would be embracing an outright lie.

Although noone raised it directly, one of the things that I started to wonder in reading the comments is whether one of the things that I actually seek is the blissful ignorance and physical safety that I had before my crisis of faith. I was young and life was simple. This Spring marks 15 years since it all started to crumble apart. I ultimately chose to leave the safe cocoon of both religious life and education. I uncovered my head, both literally and figuratively. I've been out in mainstream, secular America since that time.

Perhaps I am weary of mainstreaming, with all its myriad difficulties and part of what I see in Islam is a way to add back some structure and a bit of separation from secular America. I can see a clear similarity between the Liturgy of the Hours and Salah. I also want to let go of some of the self-centeredness and materialism that has crept in to my life. For me, being more involved in a faith community is part of how to do that.

I do think I'm being "seduced" a bit by the sisterhood of the women I have met. I don't exactly make friends easily and particularly not with other women. My involvement with this particular community really has only been going on for six months. In the same way that a new boyfriend/girlfriend can be extremely consuming (the "ooh shiny" effect of NRE), I wonder if I have a bit of "ooh shiny" going on for Islam, particularly as practiced at this Masjid. I think I should slow myself down a bit and resist the temptation to jump all the way in with both feet.

Thanks again for your insights and comments.

those aren't substances though...

They cause a chemical change in your brain though. Those chemicals are substances.

It's like if you take an SSRI, it's changing the levels of serotonin in your system. Eating and various other activities can do the same thing. Just about everything that you do can alter the way you think and feel, in just the same way as some pills do, so saying that the pills are the only real drugs is kind of inaccurate.

Even the cannabinoids in weed, along with various other psychoactive chemicals, are already naturally produced in the body to serve certain functions. Doing certain things changes the amount of these chemicals that are produced and released in the body. Watching TV or playing games in order to feel good is no different to getting high. Enjoying the blissful ignorance of religion is the same.

People's heads are still getting filled with a bunch of silly chemicals that do noting but put a goofy grin on their face.

I just go by the definition of drugs being any external substance you ingest that alters the mind and/or body. Of course that does not only apply to pills...beer, cannabis, lsd ect. are not pills. But yes I agree there are other things that can alter the mind and body that aren't substances.