Desperate for real life help!

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I need help, badly. I am too afraid to get help because of my past experiences with getting help.

My family is going out of town this weekend. I am too anxious to go. But I don't know what they will come home to if I am left alone...

Try setting yourself a schedule of things to do everyday while theyre gone so things dont get on top of you. i.e. do the housework at a certain time everyday, cook dinner at a certain time etc etc.

I know what its like though, i struggle when Im left alone in the house when my parents go aay etc, mainly to do with the fact that we have a lot of pets that need feeding and walking at certain times everyday, and my little dog has 6 stomach ulcers and so needs to have her medicine at strict times of day otherwise she gets really ill. Like i said though, you have to set a strict routine to follow, do that and its much easier.

I'm sorry, I keep trying to reply. Compulsivly erasing everything I write. Trying not to cry, trying to make my thoughts make enough sense to share.

What do you mean? If you are afraid you might hurt yourself or that something serious might happen, try to find someone you can stay with. Do you have any friends or relatives nearby who you could stay with or ask to come stay with you?

With regards to getting help, I can't really give you any advice from my perspective. Maybe post on the forum to get recommendations for counselors or support groups in your area?

I would just try opening up to your parents. I do not know what help you really need but if you would like to talk about anything, let me know. Sometimes it is more easy to open up to a stranger due to the anonymity of it. Try and distract yourself at home with something to do. I know it is easier said than done because I fight some pretty horrible feelings once night sets in and I sometimes give in to the temtation if you and I are on the same page..

Hmm, bad past experiences getting help...what sort of bad experiences?

You don't make clear just what the problem is--that is, what has happened in the past that you think might happen again. Also, what can possibly go wrong just over the weekend? It's not really possible to offer any helpful suggestions if we don't know just what the problem is. Are you afraid to be alone? I lived with relatives most of my life, and have only been living alone for the past 6 1/2 years. Living alone is much better for me. I did keep the radio or music on at night for the first few weeks, but I still liked being alone. I just needed the sound, as there were no relatives around making noise at my new place, and it gets very quiet here at night.

If you are that afraid to stay home, then you should go on the trip with your parents.

make a schedule for yourself so you can keep busy.

Read a book.. learn a new skill (cooking?) ... rent a lot of movies in preparation (or netflix!)

..all the above..

I don't understand. I posted a reply. It was very long and detailed. It is gone. How did this happen? I would not have spent 20 minutes pouring my heart out if I knew it would just disapear!

Ok, I will try again. Unfortunatly, I am now frustrated, and my post will probably reflect that. I am unable to rewrite what I wrote before, especially as my words and thoughts are now clouded with frustration I didnt have the first time I wrote this post... *sigh*

I am 29 and married with a daughter.
My husband and I compromised. I will go on the trip but I will not attend the wedding (full of people I don't know - main reason for our trip).

In the past a hospital pretty much held me prisoner, and tried to force me into a psych ward. They stole my clothes. Refused to treat my migraine - unless I agreed to be sent to a psych ward for a minimum of 3 days. The social worker literally said to me and I quote "You want my professional opinion? You're crazy and you need to be kept away from your family."

My own mother warned me to never tell a mental health professional what goes on in my head or they will take my daughter. (I have shared some of my worst thoughts with my husband who does not think that there is anything wrong with my thoughts.)

Reason I am going thru a hard time right now. We just moved to a new area 60 miles away from home. Just before the move I was fired. It was discrimination and retaliation.

I had to move away from a very dear friend. She made me feel normal. She understands. She has had a better effect on me than anyone I have ever met before. But she is no longer less than a block away. Our kids cant play together. We don't work together anymore... Everything has CHANGED and I don't like it. I don't want to adjust. I want a big undo button that will undo this whole move. (ok childish rant over)

My biggest issue at the moment is being left alone all day while my husband is at work and my daughter is in school. If we were not totally broke from the move, I'd go buy some books, and problem solved. But I have nothing to do but housework and paying bills and I feel like I have totally lost my self, my independance. I hate relying on hubby for everything. When I try to suck it up and do things for myself sometimes it works, but mostly it causes a melt down.

I hold myself to NT standards. I do not accept myself as I am. I have tried. The only time I feel good about myself is when I do everything with no help from anyone... I know, not healthy. I have a bit of a perfection issue.

I hope this answers the questions that were asked of me. I am sorry if it does not, but I have an errand to run (getting out of the house YAY YAY YAY) and as I already wrote all of this once, I have probably forgotten a lot. So, again sorry. ( I have a problem with apologies. I cant seem to stop being sorry which most NT's take advantage of and blame me for everything.) I do not mean to sound as if I dislike NT's. I don't. I dislike mean people, just to clairify...

I'm sorry it's such a stressful time. I hate that there are times when you have to be strong, and hold it together (usually when you feel like you're about to fall apart!) I get stressed over weddings, and crowds, and people, and travel, and changes to my routine too

Don't know what to say except hang in there as best you can... Hospitalization is an option if you truly can't make it through on your own, but like you said, that has its own set of headaches as well. I'm glad your husband understands how hard it is on you though - it's good to at least have someone on your side in the stressful times! *hugs*