How to Deal with Roommates - Seeking Advice

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Lytig
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21 Apr 2012, 9:17 pm

So, I've been living with some guy for over a year now. I only moved in because I was going through a really hard time in my life and needed a place to live temporarily. My boss mentioned that she knew someone looking for a roommate so I met with him and moved in after meeting him the once. I do not do well living with roommates with the exception of my boyfriend (who moved in a few months after I did) because he understands my needs and is considerate of them. Recently, my original roommate's girlfriend moved in (after living there for free for three months which still irritates me and is just one example of their complete lack of disregard for anybody else living with them). She's been living here for a month now and has completely taken over the house. There is is usually not even half a shelf in the fridge for mine and my boyfriend's food and although my boyfriend asked them about that, they did absolutely nothing about it. She leaves her hair in the drain trap in the shower without ever cleaning it out which clogs the shower and so I have to dig my hands in there into her gross, soapy hair and clean it out. The cook all the time and leave dishes stacked everywhere to the point that it is so high I can't even use the sink to get a glass of water. She also still hasn't paid me for rent but can somehow manage to afford to get packages in the mail all of the time. They will wake me up every morning talking outside of my room or playing fetch with their dog down the hall really early when I am trying to sleep. They will have sex in the shower for forty minutes when I need (and they know I am) to leave for work in the morning so I've had to go down to the park to brush my teeth and go to the bathroom. They have large groups of people over and that is super hard for me. I've gotten to the point that I can't even leave my room to go to the kitchen or anything while they're upstairs (they have a room downstairs in the basement) and I feel so uncomfortable in a place that is supposedly my home.

I only ever wanted me living there to be a temporary solution but now over a year later, my boyfriend can't afford to move just yet. I end up breaking down and crying or screaming and having a meltdown because of my roommates and their complete disrespect for us. Honestly, just living with roommates is hard enough but they make me so miserable. Does anybody have any advice to help me deal with them until I can escape and get out? I don't know how much longer I can do this.



rachel_519
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22 Apr 2012, 12:19 am

Hmm, I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like they are real jerks, but you are stuck in the situation. Have you tried to find other roommates?

Whose names are on the lease? What sort of agreement did you have worked out on the rent?

With regards to the dishes, who do the dishes belong to? If they belong to you, just say that they cannot use them anymore. Wash them and take them to your room and only bring them out when you and your boyfriend want to use them. If they belong to the other couple, then maybe get your own small set of dishes, just enough for you and your boyfriend. Use them, wash them immediately, and then take them to your room so that they will be clean the next time you want to use them. Meanwhile, when the sink gets full of all their dishes, take them and either stack them on the counter if there is space or put them in a box on the floor. Eventually, they will have to clean up after themselves or else there will be no dishes for them to use.


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Chronos
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22 Apr 2012, 5:40 am

You and your boyfriend should sit down and speak to them.



Lytig
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22 Apr 2012, 1:42 pm

Chronos wrote:
You and your boyfriend should sit down and speak to them.

Last night, he spoke with them about the fridge asking them once again to clear off some space for us. Earlier that day, I had shoved all of their stuff onto the other shelves so for once it was clean on ours. So, my roommate went back to check and saw that they had no stuff on the bottom shelf so I think that didn't work quite as well because I had already done it and I think he just assumed they had done it themselves already.
rachel_519 wrote:
Whose names are on the lease? What sort of agreement did you have worked out on the rent?

Actually there is no lease, my roommate has been living there for a few years but it is just an old man renting out the property and he either didn't require a lease or it's just been past the lease terms and they haven't put a new one in place. The agreement was that we would split rent and utilities four ways equally with the exception of the extra money that internet cost because he upgraded to get cable without telling us and told us we wouldn't have to pay the additional amount (which I just found out he has been charging us anyway).

We have been using separate dishes because they've been so bad with doing them but I hadn't thought to put them in a box. That might at least make it so I could use the sink. Thanks.