Therapist has given up on me

Post Reply New Topic

I had four sessions with a therapist recently and was supposed to have a fifth, but the therapist said at the end of the fourth session that just as when someone has caries in their tooth it is clear that they have caries in their tooth so in the same way it is straightforwardly clear from the way I am that I have asperger's and so I should finally accept the fact and not keep wondering whether there is some doubt. She said there is no point in her seeing me for a final therapy session because I just am the way I am and she doesn't know what to do with me. I don't know why but it left me feeling hurt, as if I am a complete write-off in this person's view. It is true that I have no great plans to change my life and wouldn't be able to change much even if I wanted to but it was hurtful that the therapist didn't see the point of continuing with me at all and cancelled the last session, because I had hoped maybe to talk about some things from the past and get some insight from her. The analogy with caries in one's tooth to describe something as personal as having asperger's was demeaning too. So I feel sad about all this .

Sweet Pea hugs

I think I'd feel the same if that happened. I think she's incorrect in that there could not ever be a purpose for an ASD person to see a therapist (not sure if she meant that), but correct in that if she can't think of anything to do then it's probably best to part ways and maybe find someone else.

this 1 is no good no.. sounds like the person has no clue how to deal with you
last year i was seeing psychologist and he had same as yours.. but did not say that he had no clue.. just kept going with sessions.. now I look back and sessions were not good at all.
Cause the psych did not know what to do, i got crappy advice and some of it was damaging.
So good to stop sessions if ur psych is incapable.
I now found a good 1 and they can rly help alot.

were not like toothprobs at all!! !! makes me mad.. autism is no infection
just need capable talk person, keep searchin for that.. they exist

what happened is write-off of that therapist.. not of you

In the US it often seems the therapist is not really seeking a cure or wanting to dispense advice that would cause the patient to become more independent. If the patient were to be healed the therapist would be out of a job. I have a doctor that just writes my meds and doesn't really hear my answers to his small talk. Not my ideal but at least he isn't pushing antipsychotics on me, well - never say never, I haven't mentioned Asperger to him yet - I will definitely listen closely for any trivializing on a level with dental issues

I have sympathy for you, but I have to ask...why were you getting therapy? Maybe she reall couldn't help you out further.

The best form of therapy here is recognizing the emotions felt and expelling them through expression.

Yeah sometimes i feel like this to. Honestly maybe you had the wrong therapist? this person doesnt sound like she knows a ton about aspergerts (though i could be wrong).

I'd be quite relieved if a therapist told me that, as at least they're being honest and not just trying to take my money even if they know no way to fix the problems.

I think it is good that she admits to not knowing what to do for you but the combination "just accept it already" plus "off you go" is rather weird. Therapists ought to know that getting to terms with something is a process and going all "you're on your own now" doesnt strike me as particularly supportive :s
Now I've met various therapists and other supposedly helpful people and many sadly are not all they're cracked up to be, but there are some good ones out there. I hope you'll find one who can actually listen

Sorry to hear about your negative experience with this person.

I gave up on counselling and psychotherapy years ago - they aren't me, they don't know me and they don't know what's going on in my mind. I reached the conclusion that the only person that can sort out my own feeling is me and spending time thinking about things myself. Being on WP for the limited time that I have been has tought me a lot, but this is from reading others feelings who are of a similar mindset to myself.

I'm taking a relatively high dose of Paroxetine (40mg/day) because I knew that 20mg was helping but wanted to increase the dose because I knew it was taking away some of my darkness and thought that increasing it might help and it does seem to be.

I'm seeing a psychotherapist every 6 months or so after trying to commit suicide and the last time I went to see him, he spent most of the time talking about me finding work in a different country! I've yet to come across a psychotherapist / councillor that has helped me with my existential well-being. THB I think they are all hacks and a total waste of money and time.

If you can't find a good therapist, for now you're probably better off posting on here and looking for groups that really fit your interests. If you aren't in an area that is too rural, there might be some autistic social groups out there too.

Otherwise online groups might be your best option for now.

Thanks to all of you for your kind and supportive comments . I always have been sceptical about therapy and this recent experience has only confirmed that. I don't really know what a therapist is supposed to achieve and just paying someone to listen and say something back to challenge (or support) you seems pointless unless one has a clear goal like overcoming a fear of spiders or something. As far as I can tell the idea seems to be to make a person more "normal" and I was quite clear with the therapist that I knew I wasn't normal and couldn't be normal if I wanted to be and just wanted to talk about coming to terms with being not normal because I had realised that it was ok to be not normal if you really weren't normal from the start. In other words I just wanted to talk to her about my asperger's-related limitations as part of the process of self-acceptance. Somehow that seemed important at the time, but I don't want anyone trying to "fix" me to make me the same as a typical person, because that wouldn't work. So I suppose therapy is not indicated in my case, which is probably why she was keen to get rid of me.