Thinking about giving up my job

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I didn't get any sleep this night because of the work schedule pressure my job always gives me. I don't think i'm able to handle this stress anymore, so far all my daytime activities depended on my job, I always cancelled any social activities with people because I wanted to stay home, chill out and prepare for the next days of my job. I don't think I'm built to work, I perform my job very well and people over there really like me, but everytime I'm not working, I get stress, loads of stress, going from "damn I have to get in my bed soon enough to get enough sleep for tomorrow at work" and that causing me to actually NOT get any sleep at all. I'm currently living with my parents, so they can catch me up a little financially and I'm currently applying for disability because of my autism. But I rather go f*****g homeless than doing the job and living the life I'm living now. I'm willing to give it up just like that. I will face the consequences later, I seriously don't give a tiny s**t.

Living on disability is such a hand-to-mouth existence (I never really figured out what that means) and your parents can only go so far and if it becomes a chronic thing for them to bail you out, they are sure to become less willing to help. Not here to be a hardass, just imploring you to apply logic. I'm on that path where I never thought 'tomorrow' would come and that I'd be there. Anyway 'not built to work' and doing your job well can't both be true; if you're able to function as soon as you walk through the door that can hardly be a reason to give up. From what I can read, the root of the issue is with the obsessive thoughts preventing you from getting proper downtime. But I can only speak for myself when I say that I don't find any merit in choosing homelessness over a stable work environment, there are MANY people who don't have that luxury and must do their job in a hostile workplace

Reading this thread back I now feel sorry that I had a mindset like this, I called off work today because the insomnia reasons and they accepted it (they are incredibly sweet), but I am trying to get back to it tomorrow because i've managed to sleep from 8:00 to 12:45 luckily. But I feel like I should explain my insomnia issue to them and I hope I won't be having to deal with it anymore. I guess totally giving it up wouldn't really improve my situation since I actually also experience many social benefits of it.

I've felt this way before. Actually I'm going to be late for work today because I had such an awful nightmare and I've been feeling so down on myself lately and I don't have any clean clothes, haven't showered in a long time, have to take the bus (which only runs once an hour) because I can't get things together enough to get a vehicle of my own, I'm only at work for a small amount of time, and I feel like a charity case there (somewhat long story). I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I want to stay in my bed all day. I can't handle it all.

It's agony.

you should check for thyroid or depression
it causes lack of enthusiasm once you get the treatment done you might feel better
or perhaps you can join a part time job
till that time continue with this job

felt this way before haha feel it all the time.

I think as an aspie you need to be doing something that closely ties with interests you have or you need something that will allow you to zone out and daydream while you do something menial. So either complicated but enjoyable complicated or simple with little responsibility that doesn't take too much of your attention so you can drift off and daydream.

The worst type of job you can do is one that's complicated without being something you're interested in. It'll take every moment of your life and you won't even feel it was well used time.

Sweet Pea hugs

don't give up your job get some help if your feeling stressed try to get help

thank you for reading.
Matthew Morgan

Are you sure you don't have any sleeping-problems? Your story seems to be mostly about losing sleep and time because of your job. It could be that most of the stress comes from lack of sleep.
There has been a lot of research that shows that people with ASD have problems during sleep. I was diagnosed with DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrom) a few months ago and it explained so much.

Try talking to your boss about it. Ask if you can get a few days in which you can show up an hour or two later, so you can get some needed rest. Tell him/her that it's really stressful for you.

I don't know how old you are, but if you still live with your parents and don't have real bills to pay, you can try working part-time for a while. Living on disability is just not worth it. It kills your self-esteem and makes it much harder to motivate yourself to work for your money again.

Also, you posted this after a night without sleep. Everyone feels more grudgy without sleep.

I think you might want to try to get some help with stress management and sleeping before quitting your job. Homeless is not a pretty life, and your going to have a ton of stress not knowing where to find food, where to sleep, when it gets cold at night, other homeless people robbing you, etc.

Many of the things you describe are shared by NT and AS people. Work can be stressful, we have to plan our lives around work regardless of who you are. My NT friends will sometimes cancel or have to stay in on a Friday night because they have work the next day. Just part of life.