The limbo between sad and just not happy...

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012victoriaa
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Joined: 16 Feb 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
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Location: nomansland

09 Jun 2012, 6:50 pm

I, too, lost a friend.

He was an athletic, opinionated, really gregarious NT - just about everything I'm not. I don't know what I was thinking. Suffice to say, our friendship didn't work out. He stormed off and away from me one day. When he said, "life is short, and I'm not sure I want to waste time with you anymore," I took him very very seriously and became depressed. When he came around and apologized, I was over it. We parted on OK terms - no shouting, just a hug and the tacit agreement that he wouldn't try to contact me.

I've moved on. Unless I have a little too much to drink or run into our "mutual friends" (whatever that means), I don't think about him much.

So, why do I still feel so badly? I'm generally an upbeat person, and its not that I'm unhappy, I'm just not happy.

How does one end an overall feeling of "bleh"?



KagamineLen
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09 Jun 2012, 9:16 pm

I have been through that situation many times, myself. I still struggle with memories of friends who have decided to ditch me suddenly, without much along the lines of a reasonable or sane explanation.

According to my therapist, I can't be blaming myself for those moments. Taking such things personally is venomous to my ability to function in the world around me. Whenever somebody ditches me, it's a reflection on that person's personality, and it has less to do with me than what I usually believe.

So, think of it like this - people ditch people everyday, and often for very lame reasons. This didn't work out. He made the move to act like that, not yourself. Nobody is responsible for other people's actions. As far as I can tell from your post, you are carrying a burden that is not your own.

I know, it hurts when people act like that, and I often tend to forget everything I just said here myself. It's just something to think about.