Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear Brandon Manitoba,

You have the potential to be awesome, yet when I tell you how, you slap me across the face like I'm just a Winnipeg b**ch. I've had enough of your garbage after 3 years of it. I'm tired of you telling me to stop listening, making, and promoting techno, and 90s style rap. I'm tired of you thinking like a small town when you are a city. I'm tired of you trying to be like Calgary and watching you fail miserably. I'm tired of people trying to be traditional all the time. I'm tired of your arts groups staying below the mainstream. I'm tired of people telling me what to be like and what not to be like. I'm tired of you telling me I have to "be like you." I like rap, techno, and oldies. Don't make me listen to country, rock, or metal just because you don't like what I listen to. Don't tell me I'm not hip. I wear baggy cloths. Stop trying to tighten my pants and make me wear plaid.

Now get a Second Cup, a music store in Shoppers Mall, a fruit and vegetable grocery section in Walmart, single girls that are actually hot, and local music talent that doesn't suck.

Should have said that in advance,
-aarpar

Dear God,

There are just two type of people
One who abuses and one who gets abused.
The one who gets abused keep saying that tougher the lessons
the more quicker the spiritual journey and lessons of compassion
There is so much emphasis on compassion and forgiveness
But all this is applicable only to the losers ( one who gets abused)

In your grand plan you decided to make me the foolish abused victim
who gets mashed by everyone and anyone
right from parents, siblings, neighbors, cousins and colleagues
no one spared me everyone had to screw me up

And finally they all want me to accept them, forgive them and understand them
for their s**t.

I am not God. ......I don't even know who I am
I don't know why I am here.
I just get the point of this whole exercise

Overall i failed your test........

Dear Doctor,

My lungs have gotten worse instead of better. The puffers are making them sting. I also hope that you don't make me quit my parking lot job, because of my lung infection. I need the money.

Your client

Dear Family,

Okay, you all know I have Aspergers now. You know that I'm trying really hard to find some answers in my life and get myself back together after all your crap. I just want to say that I've had enough. I'm more than half-way through my life and the rest of what is left is MINE.

I am no longer responsible:

for adult children who cannot hold a job (come on, I have AS and *I* can keep one)
for adult children who cannot pay their rent
to help you buy cigarettes, gas, diapers, etc.
to provide a crash pad for adult children who get evicted
for making sure the mail is read and bills tended to
for providing rides, picking up kids, stopping at the store and then coming to YOUR house
or for dealing with the drama of a bunch of irresponsible grown children who cannot get it together for themselves

All my money is gone, my credit is in shambles, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and I work every day at a job I hate so that I can make 75% of the income in our family. Well guess what? All that is about to change. The money I make at my job from now on is 100% mine. I will pay my bills, buy my gas, groceries, and other assorted needs and wants, and the rest is mine to do with as I please. It is not yours and you are not entitled to any share in it. None of you as AS, none of you is disabled in any way. Get over it, get your own job, and figure out life for yourself.

Take care and have a nice life.

Mom.

Dear Men,

I love you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

me.

Dear Boss

That food on my desk? Yeah, that's my LUNCH. Since I have too much to do in a day, I often stay at my desk and get my work done. Please STOP helping yourself to my treats while you stand there telling me what you need me to do while YOU are gone to lunch.

Thank you,
Starving

To the one whom said they would put me to sleep tonight its 1 am and i have to get up in 4 hours . I rub you feet when they hurt, rub your back when you cant get to sleep I wouldn't be up set but you said you wood and alcohol nor drugs will ever make me sleep like you can

X2

Dear Family:

You f****d up. Royally. You're all so f*****g clueless, counter-productive, and the years of abuse and neglect have left me feeling barely functional.

I hate you all, and I feel that you are the reason that I'm alone and hate myself when the walls close in. You're the reason that I feel stupid, and alone, and like a complete f**k-up that might as well off himself. It's more of a struggle getting through the day now than I've ever known. It was different when I was living under your roof--but lonely nevertheless. It was simple enough: go to school, go to work, get paid, buy food and clothes. Now there are scary things involved, like paperwork, appointments, bills, insurance, the hell that other people put me through--the things that you never brought to my attention nor prepared me for.

I came in to this world as I am, and that never seemed enough for you--any of you. I had no choice but to trust and rely on you. I was just a kid, and you spent the past 20 years doing more harm than good. You almost utterly destroyed me time and time again, and sometimes I really feel like you succeeded. You failed, me as well as yourselves. I was nothing more than an object to you, and you told me verbatim that this was true. That your lives would be easier if I were dead.

There are so many words for how I feel, but I want to thank you. At first, I didn't think that I could let myself even feel that for you, but if I even now people tell me that it's "amazing" that I've made it this far. Apparently I'm some sort of self-sufficient young man that's doing reasonably well under the circumstances.
I never bought the "made me stronger" spiel, but I honestly walked away from all of your s**t malleable to the worlds tribulations, but solid enough to stand against them.
As long as I am cognizant, I will never capitulate--this is because of you.

I'm never coming back, I will survive, and I'm really better off.

-Me.

Dear emotions,

Please go away. Please stop latching onto people. Please go find a dark, deep and damp hole to bury yourself in and rot.
I hate you.
You're the reason why I love, why I hurt, why I cry and why I smile.
I don't deserve any of those- especially you!

I wish that I was just the wind blowing mindlessly through the trees, but no, I've been burdened by your presence, and forever as it seems.
Just go away.


Dear ________,

If I didn't have emotions, I wouldn't have felt anything for you.
So, you just walk out of my life like that? Ignoring my calls and txts? Did you completely erase yourself from existence?
Do you hate me now?
The future isn't set in stone, and you're going to find out the hard way that I was the only stupid person who would date a guy like you; you've played me for fool... and you freaking crushed on every other girl but me while we were dating!! WHAT THE HELL??! !! !

Naw well, the next time you'll contact me I'll be in a different country getting the best high paying job that I can get my Aspie hands on whilst with another guy that will actually appreciate me and not make me feel like a nothing; while you'll be sitting on your Aspie a** back here in Australia with the career of teaching Drama to High School students, reminiscing of what could-have-been.


Dear __________,

I hope you read this- or maybe not... Oh gosh, you know that I'd blush like a tomato if you were ever to confront me saying this, but, I feel exactly the same.
Though because of you, I guess I'll try and hold emotions.

Just for you. x

To my supervisor:

You won't be dealing with me much longer. I'm looking for another job. I'm worried about my financial future and I don't want to be your hitting board anymore. You like to pick on your three least favourite employees. Gerald, Kevin and myself. You you really hate men and masculine women, that much?

Mick

Dear I,

(Warning contains strong language and self hatred as this letter's addressed to myself)

Will you stop making people feel sorry for you! You would do anything for attention, over exaggerate you past and make everything out ten times worse than they were. I'm pretty sure there are other people in this world who had it worse than you and your the only one who suffered who has Asperger's Syndrome.

And while I'm at it, will you also stop using Asperger's as a crutch! Boo f*****g hoo I can't do this I can't do that cause of Autism! You big f*****g baby! Are you ever going to man up and take responsibilities for your failures instead of blaming other's and your Autism? "God made it where I can't" "God is too blame" My mother never loved me". Get over yourself you f*****g b***h! You big f*****g baby! You know Glen was right you are a p**** ass b***h who'll never ever man up and take hold of his life! Let's let Daddy take care of everything! Let's let Daddy pay the bills while you do nothing but dwell in your despair and suck on your little bottle!

Goddamn it ! Grow a pair! Your 24 f*****g years old! What f*****g women would want to sleep with some guy who's still living with his Daddy? None will !

Nobody in this world has time to stop what their doing on shed a tear just cause you whine like moaning mirtle from Harry Potter! "Oh my Fragile X Syndrome means I'm ugly and will never get a girlfriend".

Does that sound familier? Of course it does! Cause that's you two years ago whining to Mommy cause your little brother was flirting with some girls! Have you never stopped and think for a moment that maybe it has to do with personality? That maybe Women like a guy who's confident! Oh no don't go blaming the whole "I can't socialize well and I'm fat" excuse cause you had plenty of times to loose weight. But no! You sat on your fat ass and whined and bitched! You see what this poor me attitude is doing to you? It's pushing people away cause you do nothing but cry like a little b***h all day! And your pissing people off ass well! By using your autism as an excuse your doing nothing and that's pissing Dad off!

Why ? cause he's making an effort for you to live out on your own! While you do nothing but drown in the pathetic tears you produce all day LONG!

What's that? Your brother's in the military? SO f*****g WHAT! Your Mom and Step-Dad has every right to be proud of him! What have you done with your life? NOTHING!

So why does the world have to stop and wail just because your too lazy and whiny to do anything with your life?

What's that? You want an Aspie girlfriend? Well too bad! No girl, Autistic or not, is going to date a whiny little p**** ass b***h like you! So why don't you stop being a little whiny b***h, man up, and move the f**k out your Dad's house? Your in shape ! And you never had a flirting problem in the 9th-12 grade! So man ..... the f**k ..... UP!! !! !! !

Dear A,

I hate you. Why did you have to contact me again after so long? It would have been better if you'd just stayed out of my life for good. It's not enough that you've done this about a million times over the past 6-7 years or so - but then I doubt you've got enough of a conscious to realize you've hurt me over and over again, just because I'm too much of a pushover to just block you out myself. Maybe you've developed enough of one to ask me whether it's ok to be sexting someone other than the god damn person you're engaged to(it's not cheating if it's not physical ), but it's not enough to make you stop yourself it seems. Don't ask me. I'm not here to give you validation, nor am I here to listen about any other details of your affair so please shut up about it.

Maybe it's some sort of stupid plot to make me jealous. Wouldn't be the first time you've played mind games with me. Thing is that this time I'm not falling for it. You could not be farther from what it is I really value in a partner or even a friend. You are just about the most shallow, greedy, selfish person I have ever met, and it is absolutely disgusting. I can't believe that I ever saw anything even remotely decent in you. Go to hell.

-Me.




Dear N,

It's nice to get to talk to you again after so long. I really hate myself for having messed things up so badly, and it all just goes to show how good you are after having had to deal with my envy and immaturity. I hope you don't see me that way anymore, but that would be asking a lot. Guess it's a bit hard to swallow, but I have to accept that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. It makes me sad because I know that there is no one out there just as understanding or caring or as laid back and down to earth as you. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with not being with you much longer, and it's very apparent that you and a lot of others would be better off without me bogging you down, but I'll hold on long as possible. Just hope you let me know if I cling too much, because I know you don't like to hurt others.

~Me

Hey H,

I miss you.

dear life...

f**k you


cant do this anymore , cant cope want to die

Dear AK,

I miss you, lots.

And I wish I was never passive/aggressive. I wish I never had doubts of your friendship for you were something special. You were the first girl I could really be goofy with and you are a truly awesome person.

If it wasn't for your over protective brother, I wouldn't started mistrusting you. I understand as he is your brother and everything like you said. But I think I really just wanted to wound you like your brother did that one day.

Every-time I saw you on that MMO game, every-time I saw the cat, I didn't see AK but your over protective brother.

Of course I didn't say this to you cause I knew what you would say, but I wish I had now.

Your gone now. Your out of my life for good. I scared you off, and I knew this when our friend told me that I was "freakin you out". To be honest I just wanted to apologize, but there was that fear and doubt again. So this time I truly left out of your life....

I told our other friend how much I missed you but I was only trying to see if AK missed me at all. I'm sorry other friend for causing her to get mad at you and stuff.

I understand if you never talk to me again only cause I can't admit how much I miss AK to her face. Only cause I'm too afraid to admit it her ......

You were right AK, when you were mean to me that day, that day I left the game.... That I'm really pathetic all those times I threatened to commit suicide..... You were right when you said I only had friends because of you :'(

You were my Bestie Forever but I screwed that up royally....

Slowly and painfully I will forget about you, but your better off without me in your life.....

Goodbye AK this is the last time I'll ever think of you again......... :'(

dear ami

i love you <3
i really really REALLY Wish you were getting better tho


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