scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10 I am having a momentary meltdown. I don't know what happened, it has been a normal day today. Same frustrations dealing with the world as always. My mind is churning with terrible depressive thoughts. Why do I concern myself with the all of the mundane details, and then let myself get frustrated when something is not right?

ARGGH! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! I KNOW MY FEELINGS ARE IRRATIONAL, AND YET THEY'RE STILL HERE! I WANT TO THROW MYSELF INTO A DEEP DARK HOLE AND NEVER COME OUT! I WANT TO BE DESERTED ON A PACIFIC ISLAND!

It is the irrationality that make me feel this way. Nothing ... NOTHING ... is rational. Even my anger is irrational, and that bothers me! I hate it! Sometimes I just wish for an existence devoid of thought or emotions just so I don't have to feel this way. I just want to be numb right now. How can I be like a normal person and not care when something goes wrong? I want to shrug my shoulders and move on. What a cruel joke life is!

-10 well ok at the moment...but otherwise kind of freaking out, I also feel pretty suicidal and have reason to believe I could act on it. But yeah it would just bring a few people down with even though I feel its the same way if I'm alive. So I have to consider my options which so far seem to be:
-Hope the anxiety, depression and PTSD wont attack my brain so bad I act on all the suicidal thoughts that I cant get out of my head....though I can mellow it out through good old self medication but if that's not enough then that could be an issue.
-hope that I can get on SSI before I have a freaking mental breakdown
-Commit myself to a psych ward before I do anything stupid or have a mental breakdown and end up there anyways

so much to look forward to...

-3 or -4. A hug would be nice (the non-digital variety).

-3

3 - Much better than yesterday. Venting and a good night's sleep helped to reprioritize my thoughts.

At the moment about -5 and heading swiftly down. If I didn't have my own little system I would be in a dangerous place. So violently angry at the minute. And no, not with anyone.

You could make that about a -8 by the time I've posted this...

+10 Too happy must be the lack of sleep making me giddy!

-1.5 or so.

About a 3

inapplicable

You do realise that "Booyakasha" in swahili means death to the white man/people?

I'm not too bad actually, maybe a 6 actually.

Do you have any reference to support that? Up to my knowledge, "white man/woman" in swahili is "mzungu" or literally “those who wonder aimlessly” referring to the folks of foreign descent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mzungu

-10 but don't worry. Pretty soon I won't be feeling anything because I'll be dead.

WHY?

+2

-10

Everything's coming to an end all at once. The Olympics are coming to an end. The Zellers at Willobrook Mall is closing tomorrow and the IGA Marketplace that I live just behind is closing on Tuesday. The company that I'm working for is coming to an end at the end of October on the 30th, which is the same day as my Birthday.

The worst part is that my mum isn't going to give me any support through any of those times. My mum never supported me during any of the times in my life that I needed her support the most. She never supported me during any of my spells of Depression, she never supported me in 1998 when my mental health issues were at their worse. She never supported me during my down times after the Christmas Season or the Olympics were over. She also never supported me when my favourite icons passed away. Most of you remember how it was when Pete Quaife of The Kinks passed away. I never got any support from her in high school when I was getting emotionally bullied by most of my peers in my regular classes.

I'm not going to expect any support from my mum between now and the three weeks following the day that everybody at my job gets laid off.

Unfortunately yes... maybe not in swahili but it does mention a lot about offense to white people.
http://forums.thetechnodrome.com/showth ... p?p=971663
I assume though you was probably thinking of Ali G or something and didn't know.