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Sea Gull
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07 Oct 2012, 9:15 pm

I'm in my 40's so half way there in life.

I've posted this before; I have no plans, no ambition, so to some extent no hope for the second half of the experience.

With no goal in life, what do I do for act two? (I flunked act one)

Just feeling down tonight- any suggestions? Anybody??


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MountainLaurel
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07 Oct 2012, 9:32 pm

Do you have a job? My job gets me out of my house, gets me out of my head and yields a paycheck.

For me a life plan seems unnecessary. I am satisfied with a step at a time. Some examples of steps that make a positive difference to me are; clean the kitchen & make a healthy meal, trim the garden, start a project I'd like to finish or go to bed early with a plan for the next morning.



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Sea Gull
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07 Oct 2012, 9:39 pm

I'm a higher functioning aspie; I have a career, I drive, I have a house; 3 kids and I've been married for 16 years.

However; that's it. I have no friends other than my wife. I am completely alienated from everyone I interact with. I don't like parties; my wife had Thanksgiving dinner here tonight, and I couldn't even interact with family.

I don't like sports, I don't care about fancy cars or beating 'the Jones' to climb an invisbile social ladder that knows no top. I waste my spare time on newsboards. My kids are teens and they don't need me around as much as when they were smaller. My wife and I have drifted apart over the years.

Without a goal; what to aim for?


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thewhitrbbit
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07 Oct 2012, 10:33 pm

I'd suggest seeing a therapist to talk over some of these things.

I can say if your wife is drifting away, a goal might be keeping her from drifting to far.

It doesn't matter if you don't like sports, or cars, or keeping up with the jones.



CockneyRebel
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08 Oct 2012, 1:54 pm

Sweet Pea hugsImage


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Sea Gull
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08 Oct 2012, 8:25 pm

I've had therapy before, it was okay.

Still there's the fact that I have no friends, no one to reconnect with from 20 some years ago. Someone I could sit and have a beer with an talk about old times. Instead I get the honor of paying a stranger to listen to my problems at $80.00 an hour. Not the same deal.

I'm just a sad, old loner, with no prospects for improvement.


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genedig65
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10 Oct 2012, 10:15 am

You've made it man! You've got a career, a wife and kids! Be proud of that!

Take your family somewhere it will be just you and them, like a vacation cabin in the forest or by the lake. Make sure there's no TV/Radio/Internet/Cell Phone etc. Just your and your loved ones. Spend time talking to one another, especially your wife. Find out why she is drifting away. Reconnect. Those kids, even though they are teens, still need a good daddy. Get some therapy. The kids will be facing some major changes in their lives as they grow to be young adults. Your purpose in life is to guide them into adulthood. Then your next job will be that of grandparent!

I'm 47 and I still seek advice from my parents. Like you, I have a career, a wife and two teenaged kids.