I hate my depression. Help?

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Just got home from town. Met two old friends I hadn't met in a long time (not sure I'd call them friends nowadays). Had quite a good time at first. They talked a bit about what they've been up to and then they asked me some questions and I got to talk about things I find interesting. After a while we went to a cafe. It was very crowded and noisy which made me feel really agitated and anxious. I felt intruded upon and like people were invading my personal space. Also, people kept bumping into me and accidentally touching my arms etc which I really don't like. After a while the noise and my own thoughts made me feel quite overwhelmed so I sort of "disappeared" into my own head. The two old friends I was with had a very deep and long conversation but I couldn't be bothered to listen. I just sat there, stared into the wall and thought about things. I realised I think my thoughts and what I think is more important than other people's thoughts and what they think. It's not like I don't care about other people and their opinions but I prioritise my own thoughts. Is that selfish? Am I the only one thinking like this? Was that some sort of overload by the way? Also, what's the difference between NT overload and an AS overload?

Anyway, now I'm feeling proper depressed. I've had three quite good days (not great but at least I've been less depressed and less anxious than usual) but now I'm feeling all low again. I hate my depression. I feel exhausted. Might be because of all the noise as well. I don't know. When I got home to my student dorm people were making food and they are going to eat it together and then go to a Halloween party two floors down. They wanted me to join but I declined. Made me feel a bit bad but I really don't want to talk to anyone else tonight (I don't like coming home and feeling like I have to feel bad for not wanting to socialise with the people who live here by the way). I want to sit alone in my room and watch TV-series while comfort-eating or something (I hate that I eat when I don't feel good by the way, how do I stop it?).

I don't even know why I'm feeling so depressed right now. Sometimes I hate my life. I hope it's ok I complain. I have no place else to vent.

EDIT: Oh and now my earphones broke. Great.

That is hard to read,i have been depressed right now to, got diagnosed by two psychologist and now pursuing a diagnosis by a psychiatrist, all my aspieness is getting out, im turning into a tollaly autistic person, my adhd is turning so high, that im starting to fail subjects and this is making me more depressed, i been starting to stimming hard and rocking again, and people in college are starting to talk about me being weird,im feeling like no one in this planet is going to understand me, and im going to be destinated to a lonely life, my earplugs didnt get broken(s**t this is the worse thing can happen to me, i need my music to get me away from people), but i got 2 music reproductor, one that i barely used and got not too much songs, and the other one that always used and got all my songs, the one that always used got broken, and men, i was in college, and i was going to start hitting people, couldnt concentrated, couldnt make that angry go away, finally got home, listen to some music in the computer while i started to put the music into the other music reproductor.

Ive been so depressed that i have eve been searching in the internet ways to kill myself, but then the feeling goes aways, and come sometimes, hang on man, you are having a hard time, but try to get on in life, search some happiness into your own interest, and i know that feel,if i have to talk with more than 3-4 pepole at a time, i have to rest in a lonely place while i listen to my music, because of the overwhelming.

Apologize my bad english, is not my main language.

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