help for this NT with AS friend

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Will make this a short version:

AS Male is in his 60s, twice divorced, both high conflict. One still no resolved. All his children have AS. Both marriages ended due to issues with children. His special interest is women and he is impulsive, taking risks with his health and his successful career. He knows he is AS but has very few close friends so does not confide it except as "quirks"

His behavior is a high risk to our business and our relationship. He addressed it for a while and then broke down and engaged in his same old past behavior. When discussing this issue, he shut down, said "don't beat up on me" and "you have to be nice to me" and "you can't control me"

I can tell he is very emotional. He has no idea how to discuss, cannot handle conflict, has no idea how to resolve so has gone into shut down for 5 months, not acknowledging gifts, emails, texts except about once a month, the occasional text or email shows he is stuck in a rut and cannot move off one topic and cannot remember what is going on.

He is normally somewhat social and has shut down on all fronts with that activity. Prone to depression and anxiety and takes no meds.

How do I best reach out to him or do I? Do I let it run its course and keep the business going?

Thanks

im confused why his dating is a threat to your business and relationship.

is it not dating at all and smth like Max Mosley?

it is a very public business where one attracts a lot of attention. He dates married women and impulsively hooks up with others in appropriate areas and ways that attract a lot of attention. He contracted something from someone and then has had others find out after the fact for which they attempted to extort him. In certain areas of business, he acted inappropriately with women and the business received threats in the form of legal complaints.

sounds like blackmail to me.

basically he needs to hook up with single women and or learn to keep his mouth shut about the business

if he is a public figure/famous then that will be much harder

imo he needs to date higher quality women and stop "impulsively hooking up with others in appropriate areas" - where is the challenge? is he a wanna be sugar daddy?

he cant derive much satisfaction from what he does or he would not have to keep doing it. Its fleeting ego need...........

is it the anti virus guy?

No he is not the virus guy.

But yes he has been blackmailed. As I mentioned he has impulse issues. His obsessive interest is women and they do not all stay quiet.

He does need to connect with single, divorced women and not married ones but unfortunately he is not understanding this. It was an issue with his marriages too - he pried them away from husbands.

The business is public and he is known. I hope he is not playing sugar daddy but it is a nagging thought that he is. I think he does it because it is his obsessive interest and he can't help himself.

As I mentioned, he was ok for a while but then snapped back to his routine at a very inopportune time and was blackmailed. For the business, this is very bad. How do I communicate with him in his shut down and re-introduce this issue to him in a way he will understand? He could be poly, not sure. One of his kids is. But the intersection of the business and is "interest" are a recipe for disaster. I don't understand why he understood for a while but then fell back to his routine.

Let me add that he has an extremely hard time understanding the norms of society. He thinks he is being private but he is not. He engages this behavior because he knows he is bad at relationships but desperately wants and needs to be loved even though this is the wrong way to go about it. It is really sad that he wants the business and needs it but has this "interest" he can't shed.

I often wonder if the business does not matter as much as me, his partner, because he has been somewhat obsessed with me as well.

this interest sounds like sexuality - most people cant shed that one no

Im not sure we agree on what obsession is

have you set an example? have you the ability to call out his patterns?

sounds like a 60 year old russell brand to me.

The answer is fix him up with a decent woman

I was successful previously explaining and setting an example until wham shutdown and stubborn set in. How do you define obsession?

Constantly looking for women to hook up with seems like an obsession to me.

I offered to fix him up but what happens when I do that and it's an appropriate person and he then hooks up on the side again.

Biggest issue is how to relate to him in his shutdown/isolation

Thanks