Every once in a while, I realize how broken I am...

Post Reply New Topic

The moment everyone silently agrees to leave the room to give a person time to regain composure...and I was the only one who didn't realize during the whole conversation that she was about to burst into tears. Upset, yes I got that.

Looking back, I probably didn't pay enough attention. Looking back, I don't even remember her eye-color, despite being a fairly close family member. Once again, I realized that I'm painfully unaware of the world around me. And that's pretty depressing.

I almost thought this was a thread where you realize how lonely and different you are. I was going to add it's that moment when all your band mates, except you, go outside for a smoke break or everyone in the house, except you, go outside for a smoke break, leaving you inside to stare at the walls then your hands over and over.

Dear Buggins,

You are not broken. You are a different shape than others. That is a fact. You need to make the people close to you aware of the fact that you don't pick up on non-verbal cues. You don't remember her eye color because you never look people in the eye. That doesn't make you broken.

You should have an honest talk with your close friends and explain your situation. If they know you're clueless, they may be able to guide you around these events. If they won't help, you need better friends.

I have tried to learn to read situations like an NT individual, and eventually realized that it's not going to happen, although I did teach myself to look people in the eyebrows, which creates the illusion that I look them in the eye.

While I cannot offer you much specific help, I do offer you my support, and hope you will learn to accept and embrace what you are.

I send this missive with good hope and
Best wishes,

Ikari Gendo

I thought this would be about having one friend in 24 years of life and her realizing that she can do way better then you and let's you know about it daily. I thought this would be about your co workers going out every day after work and never asking you to go and giving you the worst shift every week. I thought this was about watching your family members get married and you being asked to be the best man because they know you will be the DD and will not have anything to do that night. I thought this will be about the best day of your life being used as a weapon to hurt you. I thought this would be about telling your family you able to do something and them not believing in you at all when if you say you can't do something they have full trust you can. I thought is was about being all your ex girlfriends coming out of the closet and only dated you because they knew you would never do anything. I thought this was about living at home because you do not make enough to move out, being in the smallest room with no way out, being bich at by your folks for how messy the house in when its your brothers stuff. I thought this will be about owning a cell phone with every number in it restaurants. I thought this would be about putting your plans off so you can do something with your family/friends just to have it never happen and them not seeing why this is a big deal or you getting fed up and yelled at for doing it because you should have waited for them. I thought this would be about the burning pain you feel each and every day as you star at the 6 dating sites you pay for monthy and have messages no matter how many you send out.

Well at least you didn't say something like "Hey, listen to this. Oh and some people think you'll see them again! I remember this one time when I was working at the vets and somebody brought in a dog that got run over by a car and he was like totally obviously dying but you could like see him looking at his owner and then he threw up blood and died but he knew his owner was there, so, it's almost like that, even though this was your sister but she did have a traumatic chest injury which probably made her throw up blood, although I doubt it was that painful for her, because you know, endorphins and all...." and by then usually someone leads me away and I think I've been comforting. No wonder I only ever worked around dead bodies and not the families.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com