I'm having one of those days...when will the doubt leave?

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Oy so many fears and anxieties today. I caught a cold, my first in several years, and it looks like it's gonna prevent me from doing a race for which I've been training all year. On top of that, I just can't shake the lingering fears I always have that my work sucks and I'm just no good at what I do and I'm just a plain loser.

Also, my parents leave tomorrow for a 10 day trip to Europe, and I'm terrified that something will happen to them. I wish they'd never travel. I can't bear the idea of losing them. I've got so few friends, no girlfriend, no one to fill the void. They are all I have.

sorry about probably missing your race.

worrying about whether or not we do a good job at work can make us conscientious - not a bad thing. if you find yourself worrying about that too much, distract your self with a hobby or listening to your favorite music. do you get work evaluations? if those are good, maybe you're just too hard on yourself.


999,999 chances out of a million, your parents will be fine. flying is safer than driving. when they leave, wish them "bon voyage." they'll be back before you know it.

there's a kind of therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy that helps turn pessimistic thinking into realistic thinking. if "doubts" plague you, you might want to look into CBT.

I should've been more specific, my "work" are the films I do in my spare time. I work professionally for a company doing film production work. It's a good steady job, but i fear I'm losing my best years working at a place without a future. I want to make a really beautiful work of cinema that people will love, so I'll at long last finally matter in the world. Something really good that people will cherish.

I think I've got some projects that could be just that, but dammit all these doubts and fears I have that I'm simply not good, that I'm not meant to achieve anything, that I'm meant to be nothing more than a lifelong bachelor who dies and there is no one to attend the funeral, because no one cares.

I want to know I mattered in some way, and I'm terrified of dying now, and no one will miss me or care. All I have are my parents, and if I lose them, then I've got nothing.

most folks only matter to their own circle. salks and sabins are few and far between. when I was in school, I hoped to find the cure for cancer some day. now I am happy to make someone smile. maybe you will produce a great film. that would be wonderful. if not, you won't have wasted your life. taking care of yourself is everyone's first responsibility. you are accomplishing that. beyond that, whatever small measure of happiness you can give to those around you is something worth living for, at least in my book.

You are not worthless, and you cannot judge your own dignity by your work alone. Do not your parents love you for just being you (rather than what you do for them)? Making an epic film is a great goal, but keep it mind this will take alot of time (think of all the great artists that only can to fame posthumously). A goal of making someone smile is a good place to start If you live in the present, you can find alot to be thankful for and alot of reasons to be happy! Think of all the sparrows of the field that find enough food and shelter to live each day. You will be taken care of too, why torment yourself with anxiety?

The greatest human calling is to love and to realize that we are loved. See the latter, and you will find fulfillment in the former!

This song will help!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiUAq4aVTjY[/youtube]

Doubt never leaves, son. You just learn about it. Here is what I have learned about it over the years;

1. What I worry about doesn't usually happen. That's a good thing but I still feel that if I don't worry about it, it will happen. I'll tell everybody else up and down that it's nuts to worry, but I'll still do it myself.

2. No matter what you think you are prepared for, you are not, so stop trying to be prepared

3. We (human beings) always worry over stuff and details that other people won't notice.

4. Nobody can do anything about any of this anyway, so try your best to child and enjoy what you got.