OliveOilMom wrote:
I've had CBT before and didn't like it. To me it was just learning how to try and fool myself into thinking differently about things that I thought were obvious. It didn't really teach me how to deal with anything, just different ways to think about it. It also didn't teach me how to change the original situation, just to try and convince myself it was something else.
That is EXACTLY how I felt about CBT too. It does try to fool you into thinking differently about something that your gut, and even the partial evidence at hand, is telling you is true. For example, i often feel that someone dislikes me and the evidence is pretty obvious, like ignoring or dismissing, etc. But CBT will force you to challenge those beliefs and come up with alternate explanations. As if our brains are useless and can't come up with a reasonable hypothesis based on about 75% information.
It does not help with changing the original situation. I've hit a stonewall with therapists so many times because even I'm willing to accept that a certain person and I have no chemistry or don't see eye to eye, and the grief I go through when human relationships disintegrate. I'm willing to move onto acceptance mode, which is one of the stages of grief, and cope with it that way, not perpetuate the 1st stage of denial.