Had a meltdown at work

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I had a meltdown at work yesterday morning. We had a meeting to start the day and I ended up very confused, I didn't know what anyone was talking about, I was off work last week and it seems many things have changed. Also by the end of the meeting I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing that day. Then I found out that someone else was doing something that has always been my job. At the end of the meeting I went to get a drink, but realised I didn't know where I was meant to be, so I went back to the meeting room and when I tried to explain all this I just started to cry. Then I was sent to see the deputy manager, I tried to explain to her how disconcerting it is when I don know what I'm doing, I don't know what anyone is talking about. She agreed that someone should make notes so I know changes when I am away and she explained where I should go.

Then later on I went to go into a room when I could hear voices and laughing, I realised then that my colleagues were all sitting around and laughing about ow stupid in am and how I don't understand and how I'm confused and then i Burst into tears....this made me angry, I went and told a colleague, who thought I had imagined it. So I went and confronted them and said I can hear what you are saying and I don't appreciate you talking about me behind my back. They responded that they were only stating facts, but I still felt it was mean of them to talk about me and laugh at me in that way...

I don't want to go to work anymore

Holy cow that is awful! What kind of place do you work at? How long have you worked there?

They were being HIGHLY unprofessional! And if there are changes made when you are out it is someone's responsibility to inform you. I'm so sorry you experienced this.

Would you believe I work for a college. I am a support tutor, I support learners with learning difficulties and other needs and I am good at my job. My colleagues have very little understanding of anyone with needs, especially our learners who they often have removed from class for bad behaviour. i have argued against this because i know some find the class room environment difficuit and without any consideration it is is not a good place for them. but some tutors just find them difficult and remove them!!
I have not disclosed about myself, how can I, but I think it would be reasonable for anyone to know what is happening in their job?
Thank you for your support.

That is so ironic. Smart people acting stupid. Supposedly socially adept but having no social sensitivity whatsoever. They are bigots. I'm so sorry you have to work with people like that.

you are good at your job. don't let someone else's rudeness interfere with that. their gossip won't seem so important after a little while. in the meantime, focus on your students. they need you.

This is the latest incident in a long line. This has been going on for 4 years. My last manager would do nothing about it, but I think the new manager will so I have decided to write it all down over the weekend and give her a copy on Monday and tell her I want something done about their behaviour.

Last year, after one nasty incident where my line manager came to the conclusion that I am 'not right in the head' she referred me for counselling. Occupational health discussed problems with me and came to the conclusion I was being bullied by my line manager. The confidential report that she wrote about the interview was then given to my line manager by HR. this exacerbated the bullying, in turn leading to me being set up for disciplinary action and rumours spread and false statements made about me.

My line manager is a popular lady and has managed to get so many people to turn against me, and those that haven't have also become victims.

I hope I have the courage to see this through with dignity.

I have read your posts very carefully. Something you said, "I hope I have the courage to see through with dignity." especially sat with me for a while. In my head I keep repeating it, because that's what it is isn't it?

When something happens that brings us shame and embarrassment, no matter how much we rationalize, no matter how many books we read on self-esteem, at the end of the day we have to put those teachings that innate knowledge we have, that inner strength to action and use the courage to get through the event with dignity.

And you know...I think you will. You say you've been there for 4 years? Dealing with ignorance and people trying to define your worth and value for 4 years? It sounds like you've already gotten through this with dignity and strength and that is amazing and commendable. And that you work with these children despite all that with the compassion your fellow work companions lack, is even more commendable.

From what I have read I think you'll get through it. Am sorry you went through that. People will always try to define our worth because they are projecting their own insecurities. If they don't do it, then they feel weak and worthless and low. If you can learn how to rise above it and let it wash over you (it won't be easy) but if you can learn how to do it, it'll be very empowering and only continue to reflect on their own weakness. They're simply projecting their own insecurities, that is all it is. Credit where it's due, you've gotten through I'm sure much worse than them, and will get through this too.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. My students are what make going to work worthwhile. I try to not get involved with other staff, but I can't avoid them. I would just like to know where I am supposed to be each day and if there are changes to the systems etc.
I have been pretty strong up until now with the occasional meltdown which is of course amusing for others and another excuse to gossip. But now I am going to put it all down in writing for my new manager and send it to our regional office too and trust that they will take action against people for their appalling behaviour. To be fair, I'm not the only person they pick on and others are carrying out grievances, so strength in numbers...
I am just getting rather stressed about the thought of raking it all up again, I am very good at blocking things out but that doesn't solve anything and now I need to dig out all my notes and take action, if not for me, but for the others.
Wish me luck

i just want to say that i can really relate......im in the process of being diagnosed within the spectrum. And i had a meltdown yersterday at the amusement park. When i read about your meltdown at work, i remember quite a few similar episode i have encoured at work... i can really relate! i didnt even see them as meltdowns until i read your post. I have difficulties processing and sorting information, and get overloaded and confused. it usualluy leads to my brain going into "system shutdown"

I also think your colleagues treated you crap!

Meltdown is just the way I have always described this when it happens. I don't know if there is a technical term. Same as you I just get information overload, get confused and sometimes I panic, sometimes I get angry, sometimes I cry and other times I just shut down. I used to flap my arms and jump up and down, but now it's very rare I do that.

The other day I did the shouting, then crying and then apparently I went really quiet and was in 'a world of my own' for the most of the day.

Afterwards I feel a fool, ops : i dont know why this happens, but I don't care what others think, I get angry that they want to talk about me. They must have really boring lives.

When I heard my colleagues talking about me I didn't know what to do. Wen I told my friend she thought I was mistaken, so I had to say something straightaway.

A lot of times I am told that things are in my imagination, so now I know I have to deal with things immediately, by the time I get to my boss they have worked out their story and I look like an idiot. Which I am not!

Thank you all for your understanding and not judging me.