The only things I can say, is that sometimes you have to wait a while for friends and give you a description of what I dealt with.
As for myself, Schooling always sucked hardcore. I was made fun of for my speech, my religion, being tall, overweight, being poor, saying weird things, reading books, my laugh, the way I walked, I was made fun of for everything under the sun and it sucked bad. School is a cruel place. Most adults don't realize how terrible schooling is or can be for some of us. How we hate and abhor it, how we can't stand it.
This contributed heavily to my attempted suicide at age 14, among other things.
But school ends. School doesn't last forever. It may seem that way, especially if you're young and have years to go, but school ends. You will outlive your school. You will outlive dealing with the people who are cruel and douchebags to you. But only if you let yourself, which I learned.
The friends thing sucked to. I had 0(zero) friends till after I graduated college which was 2007, and it wasn't till a year later that I found a group of adults I could be friends with. Growing up, no matter how friendly I was, what activities I chose to do, what choices I made, no one would be my friend. I had many people, I knew, and many of them were friendly, but none were friends. I watched how the people I knew would do things with each other, spend time, do activities, and I was always left out, picked last. At most I may have been included, but at a lower status than others. This is how it was with AS for me. It sucks. It's lonely. It's frustrating. It seems like a barren and desolate existence, but it takes time to get through that part. The friends thing takes time. Just please give it time.
And please don't cut. As a possible alternative to cutting use a dull spoon and hold it as tightly in your hand so the edge digs into the middle of your hand until it almost hurts, and then hold it some more, but don't break skin. That's what I do, maybe not with a spoon. Sometimes, I only have my fingernails to create that type of pain/feeling or another blunt object that has a dull edge/corner to it, but it gets me through. I also do the same with the center of my thumbs, and have a blister/mark to show from it from when I did break the skin unintentionally.
But remember, you have a friend, and you can always vent here on wp either straight on the forum, or a pm to me.
05 Jul 2013, 3:06 pm
If anyone wants to contact me my email
