So alone

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I feel so alone. I spent the last 2 days at my primary partner's apartment because they said they wanted to see me. So I made the 2.5 hour drive to see them away from my computer and stuffed animals. The first day we had 5 hours together before they took a 2 hour nap before they went into work at midnight till 8 am. Second day I woke up at 11am and played on my phone until 3pm when they woke up. we had late lunch and icecream togethr then they fell asleep at 7pm and slept until 11pm so they could go in at midnight. I sat next to them during that nap waiting for them to wake up because I didn't want them to wake up alone. This morning I woke up at 10 and woke them up at 1:30 because I was starving and I didn't eat much the previous night because everything was closed when they woke up. They were upset with me and it made all my thoughts of "why am I here" hit me at once and I shut down. They then made it all about themselves and was angry at me for waking them up. I feel so alone. I have a boyfriend in connecticut who is also an aspie and we get each other but his social fuel tank is never really high so we don't talk much. I was so alone and had no one to talk to. It doesn't help when my primary makes a post on tumblr of those "send anonymous asks of what you think of me" and says "I got 50 responses" and when I do it they don't even send me one.

Then on all of this I am probably going to lose my job on monday. I won't be able to make mortgage so i will have to find a new place to live. I just want someone there with me through all this.

There, there. We all need a shoulder to cry on once in a while. (I know I do). That's why there are sites like this. We reach out to each other, we advise, we console, and we heal. Cool, huh?

Sounds pretty rough for you right now. If it makes you feel better, many of us have probably been in similar shoes at some point.

I can't be there physically, but I am right there with you in spirit. My wife is gone for a few moremonths, and I am not handling very well.

Yesterday we saw my primary's therapist to talk some stuff out. Progress is being made. Today we are having ice cream at like 5 pm and my partner gets a text from their roommate. Their roommate doesn't like me and doesn't want me around because I am "strange and act weird." and he tells my partner "hey I am having a party tonight, make sure you get Z to leave before then." My partner tells me this and I ask them if they want to go to the party. They say "yes but what would I like to do?" At this point I have no choice. Roommate doesn't want me at party and partner wants to go to party so I say I'll go home so they can party. So now I've made the 2.5 hour drive home and they are texting me about all the people we both know showing up and stuff happening at the party and I am sitting in my house, by myself. and tomorrow is my birthday.

An early happy birthday. Though this is a tough time, I hope you feel better. Could you call the bank and arrange a different solution rather than losing your house?

I am so sorry that you have to experience this. I don't know why people don't see the needs of others. I wish I could wish you into happiness.