rude or not rude?

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Last evening, I started an art class, which is not through a college or university, but through an art museum. They expect enrollees to have some experience with art.

We were working on pastels, hard and soft ones. Also, oil pastels and then adding water to our brush. Every person was drawing beautiful pictures; some were people, nature, etc.

The teacher complimented a lot of people's work, but mine. Then, she came over to my work and picked up my paintbrush, put water on it, and started on my piece. She dripped water all over the bottom; it looked inappropriate and messy now. She said sorry.

I was fuming inside. Is that not rude? Could she not have simply said maybe you should use water in some places instead of doing it without my input or decision. I did not pay to see her artwork! I left early and said I was not feeling well.

What would you say or do in that situation?

I hate when people take over what I'm doing and didn't ask me. I've made it a habit to give up and walk away, and leave them to whatever it was they took over.

Two of my examples --
A birthday party for a friend. I'm running the grill. The most important thing about grill is keeping up with everything. You can't let what you're grilling sit to long or it cooks uneven and burns. Basically time management. I'm there at the grill, and I just made a sweep(left to right) of the meat, applying another layer of marinade to cook on it and turning them over to have what I applied cook. I was then about to start over with another sweep of the grill because it had cooked long enough that it was time to do it again. I started, and a girl came over said I was doing it wrong. She started from the end I had just finished, and began to apply the marinade and turning them. I looked at her and said I had just did that and she ignored me, and I put down my tongs and brush, and walked away leaving her there at the grill. I did nothing else. I refused the rest of the day to cook anything else on the grill, and she and the others didn't understand why I wouldn't cook anything, and I told her that I was doing a good job of it and by her action she had deemed me not needed for the job so why should I do it? She did the grilling the rest of the night.

In a D&D 3.5 gaming session. I'm playing my character, and for once despite my aspergers, I thought I was doing a good job of it, and suddenly two of the people in my party and the DM were you can't do this and that in response to what I was having my char doi and then they started playing my char. I was like WTF. After a few minutes, got up and went to the front room of the house and didn't return to gaming. As far as I was concerned, I no longer had a character to play and wasn't needed in the game. I didn't play for the rest of the night, and rolled a new char before next session. They were a bit confused and after explaining to them as best I could what they did, they apologized, and said they wouldn't do it again.

This is my reaction pretty much. Anger with a little bit of confusion, and the attitude that you wanted it more than I did, so you can have it and be stuck with it.

As to what I would have done. I would have tossed the artwork. It wasn't my piece of art at that point. I would have gotten a new canvas and started all over. If they would have asked why, I would have just said that it's no longer my work, and I need a new canvas to work on. If they were still confused, I would possibly very bluntly and very unfriendly point out that someone else painted on my piece and ruined it, or I'd quit the course and ask for a refund. Worse case, if I was really offended, I'd cut and run, not ask for a refund, and just avoid the place, and badmouth the place, steer others away from it, write bad reviews about it on the internet. I guess it would just depend on how upset I felt about it.

Thank you for your post.

When reading your examples, I was getting angry for you. I completely understand how frustrating it is. In some ways, rather insulting.

If my art instructor approached it a bit nicer, like "you're on the right track, but lets add more to it. " I could deal with that. After she did paint on it, I did in fact crumple it up. When I told her I was leaving early, I asked her where I could throw it away. We were outside and there was no garbage in sight.

I just called and complained. I do want a refund if possible as I do not plan to go back.

I completely agree. That was totally rude, and I would have been angry too. An example of mine....I have a family member who will just walk in and take over something I'm doing while saying I'm doing it wrong. She doesn't even hesitate let alone give her opinion or initiate a discussion about it. But if I simply offer my opinion she will throw a shitfit.

I hope you get a full refund.

I don't think it's rude but it's definitely poor teaching practise, to demonstrate on someone's work. She probably does this all the time.. many teachers do, actually, without realizing how rude it appears.

If someone assults my art they might as well have assulted my body. I defend my work with a firey passion. I would have been fuming too. Id talk with her about how it bothered you. As ive gotten older ive developed more toleration for things like this, but its stillso wrong. Many things i find incredible rude, the nt who did it was totally naive to the fact they were being rude, and of course vica versa. I. offend without meaning too sometimes. But if she does it again id leave that class behind.

I got a full refund. The person I talked to, an art educator, totally understood why it was wrong. She said she appreciated my feedback because feedback determines what art instructors get hired next time.

Because your painting was somehow more important than her having a job. You seem quite pleased with it too.
It was a little rude, but your response was worse. Instead of saying anything at the time you sneakily maybe made her lose her job opportunity for the next time, which you won't even be attending - so the only possible joy you can get out of that is schadenfreude.
She was in no way obligated to compliment you either, which you seem to think.

Your input is completely disregarding the rudeness of her behavior and instead defending the implications of it. When other people are rude at their job, they are reprimanded for it. This is not a new concept. Go join a union as that is where your comment belongs.

The instructor should do her job properly if she wants to keep it.
I'm a teacher too and if I want to keep my students, I have to be good at teaching them.

I didn't see any desire for compliments from the OP, all they said was that they wished the instructor had just told them what to do rather than directly interfering with and damaging their painting.

Nonsense, nobody is entitled to a job, they have to earn it by being competent.

And I see no shadenfreude here, Ria paid to learn something and she didn't, it's as simple as that. Honest feedback from students or clients is actually very useful for companies who are trying to offer a quality product or experience.

I think it might have been worthwhile to have a conversation with her before going to the head of the program, but I don't think you were that far out of line.

If she had done something to make your picture better that you didn't like is one thing, but to actually spill paint and water on the work is not acceptable.

Thank you, previous three posters. I appreciate your understanding of the situation and helping me express what I am trying to say. That made my day.

This is very rude. I've had it done to me and I nearly had a fit right there in the middle of the session.

Well, I think the instructor was trying to be helpful, even though she went about it the wrong way and in a way that's actually quite common. Maybe next time, I would talk with the instructor at the end of the class and express your feelings towards her actions. We all make mistakes and I don't think anyone deserves to be "fired" .. constructive feedback is always helpful.

If the instructor can not instruct then maybe they should be in another line of work.
I'm glad you got a refund, I hope that the feedback was passed on so that she had a chance to think about her behaviour. If there is no feedback then she will just repeat the same mistakes somewhere else.
Ria, it would have been good if you could have stopped this from happening as this would have avoided all the stress, I'm assuming you were present when this happened and not away from your work. If you go to another class and something similar looks like it is about to happen, you could say "Excuse me, what are you doing?" before the brush strokes are applied. Ask for an explanation first before a demonstration begins. If you still do not follow, a demonstration can be carried out on a piece of scrap. Stay calm, polite and insistent, you do not need to be confrontational.
Better luck next time, don't stop making art.