Being yourself

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Thank you

I think who I am on here is what I am like when I am around people I am comfortable with.

Everyone is always changing, but accepting long-standing elements of self that are put in place by circumstance, genetics and past experience is important.

People who have self-loathing are not 'right' of course, but I think they are on an important step of self-discovery because they are at least thinking about themselves, even if it's in negative terms. I think everyone who mostly accepts themselves went through that stage. Some people do get stuck in it, and that's worse than not self-analysing in the first place. However, I think even self-loathing isn't an entirely negative thing (how perversely positive is that?)

I would like to be myself. but the problem with that is that most people just can't deal with it. I feel like the moment someone really gets to know me that they hate my guts. I probably know a total of 3 people that I can really be myself around. all my other friends are animals (and I much prefer their company)

I suppose that knowing and being yourself are two different things.

On knowing, it certainly is an interesting venture, though maybe not for the squeemish. And I count it as one of the more difficult kinds of knowledege to gain. But I don't know if it is always so linked to self loathing. I think that depends on the individual and the difference between what they are and what they would wish they were.

On being yourself, I have to think a bit.

So...wouldnt that be...the 'real' you then?

It's hard to be yourself, especially when stuck in an institution or community that values conformity (school, in my case). I went through a huge depressive phase when I realised typical Australian teenagers would *not* accept someone in their age group who preferred Japanese culture to their own, and created a "cool" alternative personality for myself, who I named Amala, and insisted on everyone else using the name. During that time, I tried to like things that were geeky enough for me to enjoy but familiar enough to discuss with others, such as Lord of the Rings and indie rock. Eventually I got tired of wearing the mask and reverted to my normal self... which cost me a LOT of friends. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone else; rather than being all fake for the sake of others, be the best version of yourself you can.