Why to live

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I keep wondering why to live?

Today i was told that im not good at my work
For 3 years i worked in this NGO and now they say i m not good enough

I cant be a good mother no matter what i do isnt good enough

I am kind of estranged from my biological family
The place i live in is quite isolated there are no people around
I dont have anyone to communicate with

I dont have close companions
now no job means i will spiral into depression
already im diagnosed with bipolar 2 depression
and not on medications.

idle mind will kill me eventually

Sorry to hear about the loss of your job. Things will get better.

I'm sorry to hear you are in such a bad place. Maybe you can find some companionship on Wrong Planet to make you feel less alone. I hope things look up for you soon.

As person above said, you will always have people to communicate with here at WP!
I wish you all the best and to feel better and find a new job soon!

Is there an area or skill you are actually good at where you can work, or maybe even volunteer? If you volunteer, you will feel more useful in the society; people love volunteers.

Also, if you are depressed, perhaps you can find some medication or even try using some therapy techniques on yourself, like cognitive restructuring? People generally don't like those who are unhappy/depressed and depression does make you feel less confident about your work, which may then lower the quality of your work.

If you don't fit in, that doesn't mean you can't do a good job or be useful anywhere. I'm sure you're still doing something right at work. Sometimes people say bad things but your results should speak for themselves.

Where do you currently live? I have a list of Suicide Hotlines that you can call (at least you won't have to be alone). Just click on the link corresponding to the place you currently stay. If you feel you are at a serious risk of harming yourself, you should call an ambulance or travel to the emergency room.

Just make sure that you are safe. Even if you can't physically be with people, try to call somebody at least. And take good care of yourself.

But y'know what? The economy is tanking. They prolly laid you off because they wanna save some money and not because you're a bad worker.