Frightened and Heartbroken

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I am 44 and have Aspergers. In a lot of ways I am lucky. In other ways not so. Every interest or hobby I've ever had has been too expensive or impractical for some reason. One thing I've always loved is chickens (chooks to me as I am Australian). Since as far back as I can remember I just love sitting with them, watching them and listening to them. I find them mesmerising and calming. I have settled for keeping a few hens for most of my life but always dreamed of having the full hen/rooster/chick experience. Sadly, with limited income, I can't afford to escape suburbia.

I'm not sure if it is age related (some sort of mid life crisis) or what but recently I decided to get some more hens and a couple of roosters and just chase the dream. The neighbours were OK with it and we locked the roosters up at night to keep the noise down. We checked in with the neighbours a few times and they assured us that all was well. Then one day they said it wasn't and that was fine, the guy next door calmly asked if there was any way we could make them quieter as they were making his family cranky in the morning. So we set up boxes in the garage and lined them with towles to absorb more noise. After asking him several times if all was OK he assured us it was and that he hadn't heard a thing since the day he talked to us about it.

All good, right? Wrong!

This morning, out of the blue he starts running up and down the lawn in his PJ's, waving his arms, yelling and screaming, swearing and threatening to cut the rooster's head off.

I can't deal with conflict of any sort. This behaviour seems both unpredictable and hostile to me. Just the day before he was chatting with my husband like they were mates. I can't understand why he didn't just say something about it then. Why didn't calmly talk to us so we could do something, surely it must have been clear that we care because we have talked to him about it on a number of occasions. Or even more confusing, why did he lie when we kept asking if everything was OK. How do you avoid this sort of situation when people won't let you know when there is a problem? Is it normal to yell and swear at your neighbours? I've never had to put up with it but my husband thinks it doesn't mean much and doesn't consider it a big deal.

My husband has left for work and I am too frightened to go outside. I am trapped in the house. I wish I could run away and never be seen again.

All I want in life is to be able to keep my chooks and not be yelled at. I wish I could live somewhere big enough to never see any neighbours but at my age and with our income I have to face the reality that this is not likely to ever happen for me. It feels like there really isn't much left for me to hope for. I know things could be worse. I know that there are heaps of great hobbies and interests out there but they really aren't all that great if you have to force yourself to do them because you aren't interested.

I am just so sad and scared right now. I feel so alone and don't have any real life people to reach out to. They just tell me to do stupid things like ignore the guy next door (or tell him to #%*@ off). They ask why I don't just get rid off the roosters and find another hobby. When I list the things that interest me they laugh and suggest boring garbage that interests them.

It is so hard not to despair and loose all hope of having a hobby for me to just enjoy in life. I wish I could be interested in the boring garbage. I wish I could find someone that understands. I fear the chance of either of those wishes comming true is slim to none.

Well, that is it, I've put my situation out there. Even if you can't say anything much can you please just post that you understand what I am struggling with (if you acutally do)?

Sorry to hear about your situation. Rest assured it seems you did all you could to accommodate your neighbor’s feelings. But honestly your neighbor running up and down the lawn in his PJ’s must be quite a sight. Just try to remain calm and remember that wanting to have chickens and wanting to have peace is perfectly alright and the problem seems to be him not you. There is not much I could say to make you feel better it’s beyond my words but if I could I would because everyone deserves to have what makes them happy as long as it harms no one else and you it seems have not harmed anyone. I hope your circumstances improve and keep your chin up.

Your neighbor may be the type that keeps it all inside and then one day just blows.

What I suggest is having your husband talk to the neighbor and tell them you will be getting rid of the roosters within such and such a time. (I don't know how long it takes to find new homes for them).

The continued stress of a neighbor dispute is just not worth it for people like us who don't need that kind of additional stress.

P.S. Is there such a thing as a silent Rooster? One that doesn't crow? Or could you change over to another type of fowl that doesn't make noise? One farm we rented a house on had Guinea Hens. I don't remember crowing, but am unsure. Silly creatures they are, but I liked them. Will eat anything they find, even ticks. But they were mainly fed a prepared pellet meal, which I did, just because I liked them. They could fly a little, but just to roost in a tree like turkeys.

I'm sorry to hear this. Ever since I was a child I always wanted a reptile but money and my mom never allowed it, I hope that one day on my own I'll be able to pursue this interest. How loud are chickens? I don't see how the chickens could bother anyone more than loud music or a barking dogs, something I've been forced to tolerate most of my life. You and your husband sound like considerate people, you didn't do anything wrong. I don't really have any advice really, have your husband talk to your neighbor to work things and go from there. I have to imagine there is a quieter type of fowl or some sort of bird, I don't know if that would interest you but to have something you love and that calms you and then being forced to give it up just doesn't seem fair.

Thank you so much for taking the time to think about my situation. Your kindness was needed so badly and was so gratefully received.

I am still recovering from the upset of yesterday, it will take a while but I do feel better already. The weirdness next door knows no bounds. When the guy said it was OK, he meant with him. We assumed it meant with everyone in his house. Apparently his wife was going nuts and yesterday's outburst was a result of them fighting over that.

In my own panic yesterday I did a lot of research about a quick solution to the noise (apart from cutting the rooster's head off) and came up with the idea of having them sleep in boxes in the car. Apparently cars are designed to have really good sound absorbtion. The neighbours thought that it was a weird suggestion but I've been alive long enough to just gloss over that. It is coming into winter here and spending the night in the car was probably cosier than the shed for the birds. It took me a grand total of 5 minutes to put them in and another 5 to get them out. It was so quiet that I had to bend over and put my head near the boot to see if they had slept in because it was dark in there or if they were actually crowing but the sound was not getting out. Of course they were crowing their little hearts out. It was a miracle.

Now the neighbours (both) say they are happy with that arrangement. I am tentatitvely relieved. I am constantly reminded that people say one thing but actually mean something else. I'm not sure what can I do but believe them and wait to see if it is really true.

Thinking about it now I must confess to having a giggle about him dancing around the yard. Again, they think I'm weird lol!

As far as I know, the odd rooster is hatched now & then that does not crow. It is not related to the breed or anything predictable, just a random thing.

Guineas are pretty cool although I don't know how happy they would be in a small yard. My understanding was that they roam over acres but you probably know more about them than me.

My poor chickens are no louder than barking dogs, garbage trucks, street sweepers, motor bikes, parties with drunk people and loud music or any other suburban noise pollution. Problem is that their noise is considered rural rather than suburban therefore somehow it it more aggrivating to people. Go figure.

I'll just take it day by day here and thank you again

Jocoby, I'm looking forward to the day you get your reptile! I just hope it goes more smoothly than my chickens and that you don't have to wait as long as I did either.

There's somebody here who also really likes chickens. Her name is KingdomofRats. She's a very interesting character. You could read her blog when you click her screen name.

Dense objects block (reflect) sound, so maybe bricks inside the garage walls? I guess that could get expensive, tho.