Unbelievable!

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Why do family members think it's okay to freely share with other people the fact that someone they know has autism? What would possess them to think that this info is theirs to dole out as they please? Does nobody have a f*****g filter anymore? Have some f*****g respect and think about the potential impact of the things you share with other people.

All I know is I can no longer trust this person. I wish I could take away her permission to say anything about me to anyone other than the fact that we are in fact related, but sadly I can't. She has a history of running her mouth like an idiot and saying stupid and embarrassing s**t about everyone she knows to anyone who will listen. But this is it. She's a dummy and I no longer want anything to do with her. She's no longer a family member of mine, she's just a brain dead sack of crap with boundary issues. We're never exchanging another word again.

/rant

I feel for you about this issue -- I too get pissed off at the indiscretion of other people with information I shared on the understanding that it was a private matter: okay to share with them but not necessarily for "general public consumption."

Not so long ago I shared with one chosen person that I even suspected I may be on the autism spectrum and I'm only at the beginning of thinking about going ahead and getting evaluated. For someone in my position with all this, it's a delicate, strange time and a very, very private matter. I only shared this confidence with her because she was a person who already is studying to become a therapist and already has a general understanding, more than the average person, of psychology and a tiny bit of neurology. She was one of only two people I knew would be open to hearing my concerns. The other person is in fact a fully qualified mental health professional who agreed an evaluation would be worthwhile. But anyway, back to this other woman, Indeed, she didn't mock me or dismiss my suspicions but agreed she saw traits in me -- not that she's qualified, but still.

Then she goes and tells anyone else she knows! Now the neighbor knows, and two other mutual friends and their spouses know --- christ, I'm not even diagnosed yet!! It's not even for sure! It was something I confided in her because I felt very alone in my thoughts and suspicions and just wanted to unburden and tell someone what I'm going through in sorting out all this stuff in my head. I never meant for it to be public knowledge.

Even if or when I'm diagnosed, I don't intend for it to be public knowledge. I plan to be very judicious in who I tell.

But I can't come to terms with the fact that so many people seem to have no sense of privacy or discretion with other people's private information these days. I've noticed it a lot.

I wonder if the era of the internet, Facebook, Twitter and other social media, where everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame, or to share with the world the intimate details of their lives, has now caused people in general to deem that there really IS no privacy anymore so why keep a confidence? It sucks.

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Exactly, same here. People just happily tell VERY private info someone trusted them with to anyone who'll listen because they score social points with it...

This is why I don't use names when I talk and use anecdotes, not everyone wants people to know stuff about them so it's best to leave people anonymous when you talk because you never know. I will say things like "I know someone who" "I have a friend from..." "one of my online friends..." People don't know these people so they won't know who these people are.

But I admit sometimes it's so hard to not say anything because if I am talking about my day and someone asks "what about your husband?" what am I supposed to say to that. I say "he stayed home." "Why?" What do I say now? "He wasn't feeling well?" "Oh he was sick."
"No his feet were hurting." "Oh what happened?" "Birth defects in them so they hurt all the time and sometimes he can't be on them all day long so he stayed home and rested them." I don't think people realize what spot they put their friend or partner or family member in when they have to keep quiet about it because then how do you live your day talking without trying to mention that part about them? I wouldn't know how to explain it without mentioning my husband's condition unless the person just leaves it at that and doesn't ask any further questions after I say he wasn't feeling well. If someone was being judgmental about my husband not doing anything, how am I supposed to defend him without saying he has a condition to explain his "laziness?"

yes. It makes other people see they have good informants and relations. No one knows about it yet? Bonus social point! People have been beting what is wrong with this weird guy? Bonus social point!