Scared to Reveal Myself

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Hi everyone, I need some solid advice from all of you. Lately, I've been feeling lousy and beating myself up because I'm an Aspie. I want to reveal who I truly am, but am afraid of society. I'm worried that people without Asperger's or autism will laugh in my face, and be afraid of me because I have this. Also, I keep bashing my body, because I'm overweight and I don't look like the girls on TV and magazines, and in this society, it seems that you have to be skinny to be beautiful and get a man. I don't understand why people without this fear it so much and I don't understand why I have to conform to "normal" society just to fit in. Why is society afraid of people being different? My heart is full of pain and sadness, and I wish that I could let out my inner Aspie that I've had to hide for 14 years (I got diagnosed when I was 4). Sometimes I feel like Elsa from Frozen, having to hide who I really am inside in order to fit in. And on top of all this, I'm trying to put myself out there with my singing, but I feel that people are snubbing my voice. I've already posted videos on YouTube (Just type in Maddie Crook) but nothing is working. I need some loving words and guidance to help get me through this, because I'm having trouble seeing the light.

You certainly don't need to be skinny to get a man--I hate Heroin Chic myself.

There's also the expression: "Large, and in charge." I think wearing nice clothes and walking with your head up goes a long way--Aspergers or no Aspergers.

Where are you located? Perhaps, in your town/city they have "open-mike" type events where you could showcase your singing.

Are you going to college/uni? What are you majoring in?

I think you're feeling overwhelmed now; this happens to everybody--Aspergers or no. Especially at your age. You're entering upon the Brave New World of Adulthood.

They'll be other people here to offer advice.

In the meantime, try to keep your head up--it's pretty dirty down on the ground--gritty if your head is in the sand.

You will probably get mixed reactions. I saw how on YouTube they liked you so that should help. There is an option known as disclosing symptoms. You can say something like "Could you please write those instructions down because I understand written instructions better then verbal" or "Can I please have a seat away from the Floresent lighting?"

Since you mentioned Elsa from Frozen and you sing "Let It Go" have you seen the Autism version of the song by Sarah from Canada?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DXy8F2TOYM[/youtube]

[Moved from Autism Politics, Activism, and Media Representation to The Haven]

Do you sing in the church choir? If not you could try that, since I noticed that a couple of the songs you were singing were religious.