done just done could really use a hug.

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Take a break, go to a national Rainbow gathering. even at this time of the year you can find them prepping for their week long and you could spend a month at one.


((HUGS))

is that a hippy thing?

generally speaking most are against me due to my likes of guns.


feeling low today, realized that i'm am becoming more reclusive in order to fit in , by doing so i fit in less and people will become suspicious of me i guess .

I don't know what else to do though. I don't want to creep people out or get hurt.

I know what you mean about working. I'm still putting out applications but I wonder if I'm even capable anymore.
Meanwhile I'm completely restless with wasted energy.

***SuperHug***

hope we both find work.

Actually lying in bed crying right now.

lady ive been talking to won't work out. she doesn't like guns in the house/=/i'm pretty pro gun. she still wants to try but I fail to see a point.

and apparently my brother was assaulted by his drug adcit cheating wife.

Feeling sad

hugs back

going put on sad music maybe lay in the dark.

Do you like her?

idk we haven't met, shes pretty but also a bit bit. we have games and outdoors in common, but i'm really pro gun, i have few, plan on more, and carry daily, she works at pubic defenders and says she doesn't like them or want them in the house after seeing all the domestic abuse cases.

Well, maybe not worth the bother then.

yeah i'm not sure :S not like I have other options though.

though not even sure If i should keep living. Keep reading that there's so much wrong with me.

this forums can be as harmful as it can be helpful sometimes

Depression sucks and when it grabs hold of you it grows insidiously. It sounds stupid, but try getting out of the house, sometimes a change of venue can break up your thoughts.

That's a pretty sh***y way to feel, and you have my sympathy. I guess that doesn't help that much when you are feeling so low, but please know you have it anyway.

Been kind of where you are now. Incredibly down - yes, depressed and yes, suicidal - but with one thing and another I kept going. And it got better. Stopping living is a very permanent solution to what is possibly a temporary problem. For as long as you are breathing, there is a chance of things improving, once the heart and lungs stop, well it really is game over.

What I'm saying, essentially, is please don't act on those 'not sure if I should keep living' thoughts. Please.

Also, stop reading/listeningto/mulling over the stuff that says you have 'so much wrong with you'. You aren't wrong! None of us are essentially wrong, tho it can be hard to believe this when so many things and people tell us we are. Until I reached a stage in life when people began to accept me for who I was, and even like me, I had that whole 'I am worthless' crap on a loop in my head too. As much as you are able, please try to focus on the kind and *true* things people have said to you, people on this forum for example.

Believe me when I say I know that won't be easy. You appear to have spent your whole life believing the crappy lie about you being worthless and defective. But it is just that - a LIE. When I realised, after 40 or so years, that I was an Aspie, a huge load was lifted from my shoulders. Until then, like you, I had been suffering under the idea that I was somehow wrong, broken, faulty and I needed to get a grip and get 'better.' Now I know otherwise. I was never wrong. I was admittedly always different, and I always will be, but I am okay with that now.

Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect. I am on the large side of average too, and have an overbite you could use to open beer bottles! I also have the challenges all Aspies have in living in a world that is not designed for or by people like us. But, at the end of the day, I am okay with it. I have sufficient people who love and believe in me these days to know that the struggle has been worth it. Yes, there are still people who don't understand and/or like me but, hey, that's their loss (tho that still gets under my skin at times too, but not so much that I cannot deal with it)

I have waffled on more than enough now, I'm sure. Just know that (a) it can get better and (b) you are worth a great deal more than you currently believe. Hang on in there, and drop me pm if you like.

Take care. ((((hugs))))

idk from the things I read here I am very very wrong and messed up.
I don't feel I am allowed to post in the other forums anymore so I won't. probably still read them just won't say anything. I also need to remember not to say anything at work tomorrow. I just get into the social interaction thing and talk back to people. I should really just not speak except to the customers as its required to help them.


and now my brothers wife who abuses him and does worst got out of jail again only after 2 days


I blame the government for denying me my worthy death.

I can't kill myself, don't really want to die, but I should. but i'm not even good enough to die for my nation.

is there a option to delete ones profile?

just something I'm considering/curious about but didn't see under edit profile.

I dont think you can, but ask in the wrongplanet. net discussion. Someone will know for sure.

C'mon Sly, you have a place in this Forum. Please don't leave.

idk that i do. I am a horrible person it seems. not sure whats the point if i only post in this one thread.

You could post anywhere you want.

You haven't killed anybody, you haven't stolen from anybody. Liking girls is part of life. If you didn't want to have sex, you wouldn't be a normal human being. People "objectify"each other all the time; I don't care what gender, sex, intersex one is. As long as you respect a woman's space, you're all right. If you feel like making love, just masturbate in a private place; nothing wrong with that. It's better than keeping it pent up.

Cmon buddy, maybe you need to talk to someone--whether a therapist or even someone on this site.