Good luck, and *hugs*
I know that feeling of despair (not of being stuck in an abusive relationship, but of feeling like I'm always going to be sub-par and might as well give up). I know it all too well. I'm losing in hand-to-hand combat with it right now.
It sounds trite because it is trite, but keep going and don't give up and don't give in. Pretty/attractive isn't everything; in terms of finding a partner it isn't everything and in terms of making your own way it isn't much at all. ANYONE can be clean and neat; that counts for a lot more in the world of managing to make your own way than "pretty." It's easier said than done but it needs doing, and it's trite but it's true.
Keep going.
_________________
"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"