When it is finally ok to "give up"

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JacobV
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24 Jul 2014, 12:39 pm

I've been thinking about giving up for several years now.

This crappy job... the fact that nobody likes me... the fact that those who do like me end up hating me and treating me worse than they would treat their pets...

It has been year after year of pain and suffering and hardly any joy at all. It's been lies, heartbreaks, and people looking at me with disdain and people not understanding me at all... and myself not understanding me at all

I'm tired of waking up depressed every day... tired of spending every day working to make other people rich and doing things I just don't want to do. I've been feeling like a complete idiot

How much more of this does one have to take? If NT's were treated the way Aspies were they would all be feeling just like we do.

i'm tired of trying... tired of unfairness and unmet promises.. tired of people taking advantage.

When is it finally ok to just give up?



AspieUtah
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24 Jul 2014, 12:54 pm

I hope that, by "giving up," you mean to quit your job and nothing else.

Workplaces (especially those provided by small businesses) are really just a never-ending version of high school. You have the cheerleaders, the jocks, the brainiacs, the geeks, the nerds, the rich kids and the principals. We all know that is true. The gossip and insults are exactly the same.

So, should a person who is left holding the short end of the stick "give up?" I have done this and found new (and friendlier) employment quickly. But, it is always a risk without a guaranteed job before your money runs out. Instead, try looking for new employment now while you still have your job. Quit only IF you accept a job offer.


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cberg
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24 Jul 2014, 1:14 pm

I share many struggles with my NT friends, probably more than we all know. For me, the way things used to be was more or less exactly your outlook Jacob, however I only gave up on those people who did the same to me. Having or being a friend who listens is the one most important part of autism.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Jul 2014, 1:18 pm

For giving up on Life: Never. You never know what might happen. Something wonderful might happen to you, or because of you.

For giving up the job: When you get enough bucks to live on for at least six months.



emtyeye
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24 Jul 2014, 3:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
For giving up on Life: Never. You never know what might happen. Something wonderful might happen to you, or because of you.

For giving up the job: When you get enough bucks to live on for at least six months.


I concur.

Don't give up on yourself because others are midget-minds. We need you more than ever.



1401b
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24 Jul 2014, 5:12 pm

"When the horse bucks ya off get right back on him!" (keep trying for the 'payoff')
Or
"Don't throw good money after bad." (stop more losses)

Nobody knows when it's right to give up. Not even for years afterwards. And there's always some saying or axiom that will advocate for either side of any decision.
"Choose the lesser of two evils" (yeah, how the f*ck do you know which one that is??)

Life is full of "close calls," (meaning you could call it either way) I just had one yesterday, they suck.
The only thing one can do is to try to not think too hard about the one you had to give up once the decision becomes irreversible.

Probably not much help but at least from a certain point of view this means you can't do it wrong! =)


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25 Jul 2014, 8:14 pm

There?s always someone who?s going to judge you harshly if you give up. Might as well fight on to deny them that satisfaction.


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Protector88
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26 Jul 2014, 11:39 am

I feel for you man! Try something different. Find a hobby you find interesting. Find people to talk to (like people here).



Turquoise773
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26 Jul 2014, 1:51 pm

You should never give up. I often feel like giving up. It's a very hard world to live in. I just keep trying on the slightest chance that things will work out. To give up, just means living in despair, which becomes unbearable. At least if you try u have a chance. Find at least one thing that you are really bothered about. I saw a film a few years ago where a man said that the secret to life is one thing. You focus on one thing and then other things won't bother you as much. For me it's animal welfare. That's why I get up each day. When I see people on TV who have been bullied, they often have a pet sitting on their lap. When I have been depressed, my cat has made a fuss of me. He doesn't like me being upset. I find it's best to take one day at a time but plan a bit for the future. Life seems more managable that way. Don't put up with any bullying from anyone. You have as much right as anyone else to be in this world. I wish you well and hope things get better soon.



em_tsuj
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26 Jul 2014, 4:41 pm

JacobV wrote:

When is it finally ok to just give up?


Only you can answer that question for yourself. I don't think you are ready to give up yet, though it seems you are very tired and weary. I hope you find a workable solution very soon (job change, moving, whatever). If you don't give up, things are bound to change.



Toy_Soldier
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26 Jul 2014, 9:29 pm

Honestly? The day after never.

I would guess you have a problem in the hope department. You have to have hope before hopes can be realized, and hopes should also be realistic. Try re-evaluating yourself based on what you have learned so far and creating a new set of reachable goals. All you have to do is reach that first one, to get the ball rolling again.