I'm gonna abandon my family ASAP

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I've had it with these people. I can't even choose the words to express how much I hate my parents and my country ass relatives. I had a long rant planned out but as I typed it out I realized it was pointless. These people never loved me and are incapable of loving anyone. All that matters is money which I don't have, but as soon as I get it I'm gone. I can't believe I was dumb enough to let them lure me back "home". I was almost scott free but I put all of my eggs in one basket with their encouragement and that basket failed. These people come across as supportive to the casual observer but are master underminers. They gamble with other people's lives.

They give advice based on the way things would work in their imaginary world and do so with conviction. When that advice fails the personal attacks begin. You weren't X enough, you're too Y. I was diagnosed with developmental issues as a child and they held this from me and attacked me personally for struggling in school. I missed out on scholarships because of this. I missed out on a lot of opportunities in life because of their lies. I pursued all of my goals the wrong way because I trusted my parents. In the end they just wanted to gloat if the gambles paid off but would kick me while I was down when they didn't. I'm up to my neck in student loan debt and the possibility of them having to pay the debt that they cosigned for and encouraged me to take has them screaming at me non-stop. I can't deal with this much longer. I had two job interviews last week after an 8 month dry spell. If an offer is made, I'm gone.

f**k these people. I don't want to deal with the rest of my relatives either. There's a whole lot of autism denial on both sides despite the fact that it's clearly there and I can't take the willful ignorance anymore. I can't watch my cousins' children get tracked downward and denied chances anymore. Their parents act like that's normal. They can't even admit that they live in third world conditions. Ironically doing so would lead them to apply to programs designed to lift them out of poverty and give them resources for their autistic children but they'd rather have false pride. It's just too much to deal with and I know as soon as I have money they'll demand I give them some. To hell with that. At times like this I'm glad my friends and associates have had no interaction with my folks. It's gonna make the separation so much easier.

Alot of that sounds like my abusive hypervigilant narcissistic mother. Her narcissistic sisters. My narcissistic, and sociopathic cousins. My psychopathic killing niece, and nephew. My narcissistic sister-in-law. I wont use the word borderline. It is too good for them.

my co-dependant father is o.k.

I have a sister, and brother-in-law with children that are actually o.k. they do not associate with the family much either.

Your whole family cannot be that bad. ( I really don't understand what not that bad really means, but it seemed to fit somehow) ?????

You not alone.

The bad things about my family often look like good things to strangers. People mistake us for the Huxtables but in reality my parents are shell shocked due to growing up poor and black in Jim Crow Louisiana. It's the same area that the dad from Duck Dynasty is from and recently got in trouble over. His family behaved like a bunch of domestic terrorists and he has the nerve to act like everything is cool between him and black folks. Louisiana is a welfare state and the education system is abhorrent (thus all of the federal money available to those who apply to special programs targeting things the state sucks at). They actually receive 1.6 dollars from the fed govt for every dollar in taxable income they generate. It's a money pit and a cultural black hole (with the exception of New Orleans but I have my issues with that city as well). The level of willful ignorance and extreme passive aggressive behavior has yet to be matched anywhere I've traveled. That's might be part of the reason my relatives haven't been diagnosed, because in that culture it would slide under the radar. People just lie and sabotage so regularly.

Growing up my parents denied me opportunities because they didn't have those opportunities. As I said they were black kids in the Jim Crow south and their parents barely had high school educations. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood with two college grad parents yet I had to live under Jim Crow conditions. My mother's side of the family all live near each other in an area so rural that roads weren't paved until 1998. Yet as a kid in the 80s I had to wear "hand me down" clothes from the 70s from that side of the family while my parents both drove luxury cars. They would always tell me when I grew up that my money would be my money and I would never owe them anything so it was okay if they never gave me anything. When I turn my back on them it'll be their reality. I can't see myself ever having a family as long as they're in the picture.

My mother was a poor farm girl. She, and her sisters were abused by her uncles, and father in ways I have no wish to describe. It was natural for her to pass things on to me. She would also tell me things like I was just like her father. Then tell me some wacked out story about the things he did.

It was easy for her to abuse me. I feel as if she saved all that crazy nonsense just for me. She did. C-ptsd was an easy thing for me to get. I do not know how I could be like her, or my grandfather. Love for her is a tool. Most people around her think she is great. It is in their nature to fool everyone.

Nobody in my family is like me. My father, almost but not really. I have a nephew that has been diagnosed with adhd. The crazy momma put him on Ritalin. She likes him to be all sedated, and says I should do it too because I am alot like him, and it really helped him alot. I wouldn't mind punching her in the face.

Im trying to not talk to my mother, but it doesn't work. She is a good gamer, and gets my father involved.

Your not alone.

I know how you feel krakken, stay strong through this, keep your head up and stay positive , im trying to get out of a situation now since the people i live with now keep on trying to convert me back to their charismatic religion

Unfortunately you cannot change people. Since you live with a group of trolls, all you can do is deal with it the best you can, until you can do your own thing.

You can do it.