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angelofdarkness
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30 Jul 2014, 6:35 pm

My grandma offered my cousin and his mother that came up from Florida, a place to stay until they could find an apartment. However they brought a dog without warning, and they live off of welfare... it's been about two months and they spend their money on cigarettes, movies, and junk that they don't need... They expect my grandma to make them meals, and then they don't help with house work, she has to do it unless I'm and I do it for her, for crying out loud I mowed the grass when it was 90 degrees out while they did nothing. They play video games until one in the morning and sleep until noon, bring their trashy friends over, and borrow stuff without asking. An example of the borrowing stuff would be I lent my grandma a book, and today when I was over visiting, it wasn't in the place that she had it... it was up in their room so I had to steal it back. Is there anything I can to help my poor grandma get rid if this trash?


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2014, 6:39 pm

Your grandma has to WANT to get rid of this "trash." Legally, you can't do anything. Only SHE could do something.

Just make sure you hide your stuff from those people.

I would gently remind them that they have to contribute toward the maintenance of the home--by mowing the lawn, by buying some food, etc. But do it in a nice, smart way if possible.



angelofdarkness
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30 Jul 2014, 6:42 pm

She's told me behind their backs that she wants to get rid of them...


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CockneyRebel
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30 Jul 2014, 6:51 pm

Perhaps you could volunteer to get rid of the trash for them.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2014, 6:52 pm

The OP can't legally do that. Only the grandma could



AspieUtah
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30 Jul 2014, 7:09 pm

Here are some ideas:

http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_250/278_how_to.html

My favorite is: "You can begin by shutting down your washing facilities. Let?s be honest: Nobody wants to sleep in their own filth, but that?s precisely what your houseguests will have to put up with when you inform them that your washing machine is ?on the fritz.? After five days of wearing the same soiled pair of jockey shorts, they?ll be more than happy to ship off to a house with properly functioning appliances."


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Beau
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30 Jul 2014, 7:46 pm

I agree with kraftiekortie. As the owner of the household, your grandma is the only one who can kick them out. She needs to confront them and be firm in her decision if she truly wants them out of the house.



Saphie
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30 Jul 2014, 8:12 pm

ask her when she says she wants them gone "is there anything i can do to help" or "what can i do to help?" that way you have an opening to help, and also it will allow you to know if she really wants them out, or if she is wanting to not kick them out but needing to let it out. it may just be her way of "blowing off steam", and you may be the safest person to tell, because if she were to say it to them, she wouldnt prolly like that.
as others have said, it has to be her choice, and if they will listen to a direct comment ("time for you to move out by this coming monday" ) that would prolly be the best solution. if it cant be done directly, or they wont listen to the directness, then that could warrant the passive aggressive actions).
however... if they are hurting her, or putting her in harm, or causing any illegal activity under her house, and if shes not able to advocate for herself, you might try seeing if APS(adult protective services) can come in and make them leave(if its something that is in the best interest of herself). but, even with that, it wouldnt be wise to do behind her back. she needs to let you know that, not only is she wanting them out, but she wants you to help her achieve in getting them out.
if you did it behind her back, and it was just her "blowing off steam", and she didnt intend for them to literally move soon, then it could hurt her emotionally, and it could also hurt your relationship with her.
because she might not be thinking or intending the same thing as what is being perceived as or said as.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Jul 2014, 7:15 am

Yep....all the above is true.

1. Grandma might just be "letting off steam."

2. Grandma might not have the wherewithal to throw them out, even if she wanted to--out of fear?


Does your grandma have any indication that her mental powers are declining severely (not mildly)?



angelofdarkness
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31 Jul 2014, 7:39 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yep....all the above is true.

1. Grandma might just be "letting off steam."

2. Grandma might not have the wherewithal to throw them out, even if she wanted to--out of fear?


Does your grandma have any indication that her mental powers are declining severely (not mildly)?


Yeah her memory isn't too good any more...


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kraftiekortie
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31 Jul 2014, 8:54 am

I probably should have been more specific:

Is she able to cook, take care of the house properly?



angelofdarkness
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31 Jul 2014, 10:03 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I probably should have been more specific:

Is she able to cook, take care of the house properly?


She doesn't cook regular meals and lives off of things like mincemeat and soup, she can do some cleaning like washing the dishes but I try to help with anything else


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kraftiekortie
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31 Jul 2014, 10:08 am

Seems like a very borderline case for some kind of social services intervention.

It seems like you're in the UK, based on your use of "mincemeat." In the US, we call it "chopped meat" or "hamburger meat."

Does she have difficulty taking care of the house because of physical difficulties, or because of cognitive difficulties?

All in all, It's quite possible that any social service agency might not want to interfere.

Now.....if grandma was a hoarder, or she has Alzheimer's....that's another story.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 31 Jul 2014, 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

angelofdarkness
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31 Jul 2014, 10:09 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I probably should have been more specific:

Is she able to cook, take care of the house properly?


She doesn't cook regular meals and lives off of things like mincemeat and soup, she can do some cleaning like washing the dishes but I try to help with anything else


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angelofdarkness
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31 Jul 2014, 10:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Seems like a very borderline case for some kind of social services intervention.

It seems like you're in the UK, based on your use of "mincemeat." In the US, we call it "chopped meat" or "hamburger meat."

Does she have difficulty taking care of the house because of physical difficulties, or because of cognitive difficulties?

All in all, It's quite possible that any social service agency might not want to interfere.

Now.....if grandma was a hoarder, or she has Alzheimer's....that's another story.


She just has a hard time getting, diabetes which doesn't really count, and her mind is going a bit



kraftiekortie
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31 Jul 2014, 10:40 am

This is pretty difficult. I guess it depends on the nature of the social services agency where you live.

Maybe give them a call, but don't open up a case. Tell them what's going on. See what they say.

I would, most likely, that most social services agencies wouldn't want to interfere.