I had a really valuable conversation with my father today. We were talking about the issues and realizations that are coming out of my memory journaling project, and he was really happy to hear that I was doing that writing. I hadn't told him about it before. We don't talk often.
He told me it's an important thing to do for myself and encouraged me to keep working on it, but reminded me that memories are a funny thing and that our squishy organic minds are just not as reliable as we would like them to be.
He's absolutely right about that. I've been getting really wrapped up in my memories, but I don't really have any reliable way to know how much of what I remember is truly factual, and how much of it is just a reflection of my current state of mind (which, well, hasn't been so great).
I think it's time for me to set that project down for a while, and stop talking about my ever-changing past.
It's time for me to start focusing on the real life issues that are piling up around me in the present moment, instead.
I've determined that sensory issues are at the root of my problems, and always have been. That is a hugely valuable realization for me to have. Now, I just need to deal with that. That's way more important than anything involving my mother or the school system.
17 Oct 2014, 8:59 pm
