Why do people want to have children?

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MSBKyle
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17 Nov 2014, 6:29 pm

I feel that having kids is a selfish act. Why do you want to bring a child into the world to make them suffer and deal with the many challenges and disappointments of life? This world is already overpopulated and there is so much evil in the world. Not to mention all the expenses and the responsibilities that come with raising a child. Why do people want added stress in their lives? No one asks to be born and life is just forced on us whether we like it or not. I am not saying that my life is bad, but there are times when I wish that I was never born. Plus, you don't know what is going to happen to your child once he or she is born. Your child could be in a wheelchair his or her whole life or could have other serious problems. Why do you want to put someone through that? I am not saying that it will happen, but it is possible. What makes me even more mad is people who have kids but don't want them. If you don't want kids, then why are you having sex or not using protection? I never want to have kids because I don't want to subject them to this world and make them face the challenges and problems that I have faced. Even if I did want to have kids it would never happen for me anyway because I know that I am going to be a virgin my whole life and I except that.



lostonearth35
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17 Nov 2014, 9:33 pm

People don't think at all, even when they choose to have kids. They only have a baby because they want to, they don't think of what questions the baby would have if it could ask them, like will I be healthy and happy and well-fed, and are they willing to lose a ton of sleep? do my parents know how much it costs for baby food and diapers? School? College? Will they be able to take care of me when I'm sick? Will cleaning up after I've had a huge attack of stomach flu in the middle of the night be a real problem? Are they willing to vaccinate me or do they believe in all that nonsense about it causing autism? Will they love me even during the times I'm not so lovable? When I hear that wanting to have children is a natural and healthy part of being a woman it just makes me sick. I would sincerely choose death over becoming pregnant. I'm sure I must be asexual and while I'm glad that type of orientation isn't as heavily publicized as homosexuality I hate the general stereotype that we're cold and unemotional and will be miserable always. I suppose I get off easier for being female because society firmly believes that women don't want sex unless it's to have a kid but guys are always in the mood but hate commitment and raising children. It's like we're two completely different species instead of just genders.



AngelRho
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17 Nov 2014, 9:37 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
I feel that having kids is a selfish act. Why do you want to bring a child into the world to make them suffer and deal with the many challenges and disappointments of life?

Two things: Just because SOME children suffer doesn't mean YOUR kids will. As a parent, YOU determine the course of their lives.

Second, even if they eventually do have to confront suffering and challenges, maybe, just MAYBE their generation will be the one to brings human suffering a step closer to an end. It might be too late for our generation, but as long as there's a generation yet to come, there is yet still hope for them.



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17 Nov 2014, 9:43 pm

I never wanted children. It's one of the reasons I never married.

I have enough trouble keeping my short fuse of a temper under control. I get the short temper from mom's side of the family., since she, her father, and her grandfather had short tempers. Further, her father and grandfather were the town drunks. All I would have to do is get physically violent with a child, and I'm looking a 25 year stretch at SCI-Camp Hill or SCI-Dallas or SCI-Belleview for child abuse.



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18 Nov 2014, 5:34 am

I see it no different than raising gremlins!


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WildTaltos
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23 Nov 2014, 10:41 am

Ive always wanted children, dont really know why exactly. originally it was part of my picture of an ideall life - have a farm and a ton of children to help with it - but i dont know exactly how that was originallly what i wanted from life. lol when i grew up i found out it wasnt too realistic because i dont know how to interact with people much less women so wasnt likely to ever be able to start that kind of family. when i finally got my son made me understand a little bit better - i think maybe i always wanted children because i prettty much didn have a childhood of my own because of extreme physical, sexual, and emotionall abuse and so i wanted someone else to live the childhood i never had and give them the opportunity to succeed where i was set up to fail. i expect my son will suffer - most people in this worlld do at some point - but he definitelly wont suffer as much as i have and i hope i am teaching him that sufferring can be a teacher and to react to it positively. more than this though i am teaching him to be a positive force on the world and to live frugally and as selflessly as possible, so that i feel i am replacing myself with a person who will help make the world a better place, however slightlly, unlike the people who are punching out ten kids just for tax breaks and which are selfishh little brats that take far more than they ever give back to the world.


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24 Nov 2014, 3:33 pm

Summing all the happiness and difficulties, I think most people would rather live than not. I would certainly take the few %s chance of being wheelchair-bound or whatever over not existing at all. There are many good reasons for not wanting children, but this isn't one imho.


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androbot01
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24 Nov 2014, 4:23 pm

I have wished I hadn't been born since I first realized it was a possibility. With this in mind, I will say that I never wanted children. Life to me is punishment - mental and physical. When I see a child it makes me sad because I think of the long years ahead of him. There is sometimes joy and happiness but there is also pain, I wouldn't bring a life into the world. If this was a happy utopian place, I would.
I think a lot of people have children in the hopes of creating a "pack" to surround them as they grow old (which is a bit scary to do alone.)
As for procreation to promote continuation of humanity, I don't know that that's a great idea. I doubt we're god's gift, even though a lot seem to think so.



BobinPgh
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24 Nov 2014, 6:00 pm

Some people here might want to go to www.bratfree.com or www.thechildfreelife.com to be part of the child free community. Yes, you can have a life without the kids. To answer the OPs question, I think most people have kids today because they are careless with unprotected sex and cannot bring themselves to abort, so that is how a lot of kids are poor and are in miserable family situations. I am thankful that my parents wanted us but not everyone is so "lucky". Meanwhile, remarks like "your kid could cure cancer" are what the CF community call "bingoes", remarks made to encourage people to have kids. Having only recently had a diagnosis, I am glad I do not have children, with my job issues I cannot provide for more than myself. So I say people on the spectrum need to think very carefully if they can tolerate having the kids. Just as I am sure there are some exceptions to the rule I have about the food industry: If you are aspie, NEVER work in food service!