Rants

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I'm so sick of this.

I can't do it anymore, but I have no choice.

March 13, 2027. If I'm not already gone by then, and if I haven't figured out how to support myself through writing and live a happy life, then that's the day I'll die.

There's nothing left.

I like seeing a proper rant in here. Thanks LS7

My old cat seems to be having kidney failure. It's tearing me up. I don't know if I'm crying for me or for him. He's less stressed than I am, I think. I've spent as much time just sitting with him as I can, and I think he'll be happy to know that I'm taking care of business when I study or take finals.

I don't really want to talk about it, but if you feel like leaving condolences I'll read and appreciate them even if I don't respond.

I have a majorly unpopular belief that everyone is definitely going to call blasphemous. Some people may already know and have been discussing it whether or not they agree with me. I have spoken about this openly on a different forum and have mostly gotten aggressive nationalism in return. This can probably be called the most unpopular of unpopular beliefs as it concerns something that nobody would ever dare to question.

I absolutely hate free speech as it is currently used and you can feel free to declare war on me. Nowhere in the bill of rights does it literally say that people can say whatever in the world they feel like. It merely says that the government shall make no law favoring any religion or interfere with the public. It's supposed to be what seals the separation between the government and the people, which means that I do not have to tolerate any dissent because I am not a government official or part of any political groups, I'm just me. It protects against censorship from the government, not other people, nothing more or less.

Countless Americans do not understand this and I personally consider it overrated and irrelevant. For example, should some bigoted imbecile ever call me unnatural, immoral, sinful, and et cetera for the way in which I explore my body and prevent me from living my life how I individually decide, I am free to stand up for myself and put the boot to 'em. If you are not going to be responsible for what you say, then you do not deserve to speak.

Hey, you said anything, right?

whales ok ya got me beat

The f!cking deadbeat did it again!

3 days after the landlord leaves, after raising hell with me on the cleanliness of his house, and bitching about the damn high electric bill, because NO ONE except me turns out lights when they leave (although my Mac is turned on, it's in sleep mode). He's back to his old habits.

I get home from ecumenical choir rehearsal tonight (now that I'm pretty much over bronchitis, and after I FINALLY got my car back (it cost me $1600 dollars to put a new engine in the car, and the dealer wouldn't eat the cost, so the refinanced the car and added the additional cost onto what I originally financed), I find the fron porch light turned on. I turned that light out and turned on the hall light so I could get upstairs. I get to the lkitchen, since I stopped at Walmart on the way home to pick up some bacon, turn on the kitchen light, and see the mess he left on the counters and stove again! I'm way past sick and tired of cleaning up his messes in the kitchen. I'm way past sick and tired of his juvenile antics. He has two young sons, and they have a helluva lot more sense and maturity , for their ages, than he does.

I just hope he doesn't pay his rent on time. I want to see the landlord come back up here from Florida and throw this jerk out on his arse. It may mean I'll have to get out by the end of the year, but at least I'll have the satisfaction of seeing this bum becoming homeless.

Granted, I'm normally a patient and quiet person, but the paternal mean streak and maternal hairpin trigger on a short fuse temper has been buried for too long, and have been eating at me with this bum, this deadbeat, this jackass, this bully, for too long, and the stress level, the anxiety, and the sleeplessness are doing a number on me! I'm ready to put signs at all light switches saying TURN OUT THE F!CKING LIGHTS WHEN YOU LEAVE! Ditto with the kitchen: PUT YOUR F!CKING DIRTY DISHES IN THE F!CKING DISHWASHER AND CLEAN UP YOUR F!CKING MESSES ON THE F!CKING STOVE AND F!CKING KITCHEN COUNTERS AND THE F!CKING KITCHEN TABLE WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

He'll probably b***h about the coffee table in the living room, as well as the plastic bag of garbage sitting counter, that I left there earlier this evening. But I've been wiping down the coffee table, and the plastic bag contains an empty discarded Levemir Flexpen carton, and paper towels, since the trash can is full, and the garbage collection for the week has been changed to Friday, due to the Thanksgiving holiday. (Since when has he Ever taken out the garbage? If I don't take it out, it piles up in the garage.)

I am very thankful I live in a tiny tin can out in the woods accompanied by just me and myself. landlords would bug the hell outta me after a short while. I hope you can somehow find your way into a similar situation really soon.

If I see another gosh-dang debate on self-diagnosis...

The same people are picking up the same arguments on multiple threads. Why not confine to just the one? I understand that the people creating the threads had good intentions, but really? I think they're just digging themselves into a hole.

I'm having a freak-out. I really hate this vague, awful, anxious, terrified, regretful feeling.

I picked up the new Smash Bros. for 3DS yesterday. Great game, but it's pissing me off so much! I've never played a game that had so many problems with network lag, aside from Blacklight Retribution which wouldn't even let me join 99% of the servers due to my high ping.

I'm on a rural wireless broadband connection, which is pretty much one of the only options we have for Internet connectivity in my area. The download speeds are decent, and we have an unlimited usage cap, but the latency is just HORRIBLE for any sort of online gaming. I mean, it could be worse, we could be on a satellite connection, or FSM forbid, dial-up, but I just wish we had SOME way of getting DSL or fibre out here.

Anyway, my ping is bad enough that a 2 minute match often takes at least 5 minutes of actual time to play, due to the constant freeze-ups, and my controls don't even respond half the time, so I get my ass kicked left and right by people abusing overpowered characters like Rosalina and Palutena. If I were playing offline, I'd have a decent chance against them. I'm not a great Smash player, in fact my skills have atrophied a lot over the past few years, but I've been playing since Melee on the Gamecube, back in 2002. I can hold my own against average/casual players, or mid-level CPUs.

I like how they made it so you could customize your own button config, because the default config is god-awful, and nothing like the Melee layout. WHY DON'T MORE GAMES DO THIS?!? I know PC games often let you customize your controls, but console games usually don't. I'm still getting used to the different "feel" of the 3DS buttons and analog nub, but for the most part, when I'm playing offline at least, it's almost like I'm playing Melee or Brawl again.

To summarize, 3DS Smash Bros is a great game, but the lag PISSES ME THE f**k OFF!

We are supposed to get our checks today, but apparently they "didn't have time" to add up our hours and calculate our amounts. And my account is overdrawn already, so I can't make any purchases. And it also just so happens that my car is basically empty on fuel. So now I have no way of getting home, my only option is to beg for money or sleep in my car. And I don't have food either, I have literally not eaten anything today, and I have to get through the rest of the day today and tomorrow until I get my check, with no food. All because they couldn't take thirty minutes this morning to add up the freaking time cards

aches and pains should be obsolete by now!