Turn off the negative in my head

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All too often I find myself thinking of things I've done or said, and end up beating myself up for anything that might be wrong, reliving it in my head over and over. If anyone were to listen to me in my apartment, they'd swear I had Tourette's because I'll just blurt out, "f**k you!" but what I'm trying to do is to get the cycle of negative thoughts out of my head.
(When I'm in public, I've worked very hard not to swear, but I end up meowing instead)

It's frustrating, especially when I've had a lot of recent social interaction, which leads me to rethink every word I said and every move I made and decide it's all wrong. I have no idea if it's wrong, I just decide it is and beat myself up for it.

I recognize this is really stupid. Yeah, I get that. But how do I stop it? I've only done it all my life so it's hard to just turn it off.

Anyway, thanks. It actually feels good to tell someone - I don't think I've ever told anyone before.

_________________
Diagnosed with High Functioning Autism well into adulthood.
It's never too late to get a diagnosis.
Hell, I thought I was just weird.

i can (obviously) come off as really abrupt and my tone can sound sharpish, so feel free to ask me to clarify

Hello.

First off, what you're going through isn't stupid. Secondly, there isn't a quick fix; time, effort, and some therapy sessions may help you with learning how to cope with this. Maybe the next time a negative thought pops into your head, you can replace it with something positive that came out of that social experience. For example, if you spoke to a group of strangers, then remind yourself that it took a lot of guts to put yourself in that situation, let alone expressing yourself verbally. Recognize your personal growth, however big or small it may be.

Hope that helps.

Perhaps find a distraction to get your mind off of it....try and remind yourself that everyone makes little mistakes and has mishaps so its not such a big deal if you mess up some here and there. I get kinda stuck in thought loops like that where it just wont get out of my head....sometimes I even find myself verbally responding to thoughts in my head then I realize 'wait why am I talking to my thoughts'.

Admittedly I tend to use chemical relief....or weed to be specific since it calms me and reduces racing thoughts, it does tend to help put a stop to that...but perhaps there are meds for that, which would be more legal depending on where you are.

Yeah, I can relate to what you're saying. My brain can be a swirling mass of negative thoughts whenever I start analyzing my social awkwardness, and situations where I've acted a bit weird. Through the years, it's gotten better and I've just accepted my "weirdness' as a part of who I am.

Thanks for the posts. I hate that you have these swirling dark masses in your heads too, but (on the selfish side) it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Sorry I'm a bit late-ish with this - it's the end of the semester and things are a bit crazy. Actually, that was one of the reasons I initially posted because I was trying to write a very important final paper and the negativity just kept berating me internally.

The funny thing is I'm not depressed or anything, I'm pretty happy, so that's good. I'm gonna get some much needed sleep now. Thanks for chiming in - it's very much appreciated.

_________________
Diagnosed with High Functioning Autism well into adulthood.
It's never too late to get a diagnosis.
Hell, I thought I was just weird.

i can (obviously) come off as really abrupt and my tone can sound sharpish, so feel free to ask me to clarify