Not getting a straight answer

Post Reply New Topic

Today I was talking to a friend online and I wanted a yes or no question and he wouldn't give it to me. I was asking if he thinks South Park does reverse psychology about how you shouldn't stereotype and he kept on ignoring the question answering it saying something else than saying yes or no. I asked him it in different ways and still got no answer s I felt like I was going to have a meltdown and had my out burst online and signed off. Does anyone ever feel like having a meltdown over a question not being asked with a straight answer? I always need a yes or no answer because I don't know if something is a yes or a no when I don't get it. I have another online friend that does it too and I am ale to get a yes and no out of him when I keep on asking him and then saying "yes or no?" But this time I couldn't get one from my other friend even after doing this so I felt like I was going to have a meltdown and signed off. I am in a bad mod anyway because of something else my other online friend said and then this happened so I had my outburst and logged off IM. I didn't cuss or get abusive, I just said never mind since you won't give me a yes or no answer and I feel like having a meltdown" and stormed off.

Do you mean a question not being answered with a straight answer?

Usually only when it is some bureaucratic dogsbody or lacky type at which point I kindly remind them they are not paid to think for themselves anyway

I mean I will ask a yes or no question and the person won't answer with saying "yes" or "no" but instead give out a long answer. Then I don't know if they are saying yes or no. I have a hard time telling if it's a yes or a no answer.

I've been in the same position. I recently stopped speaking to a friend because he refused to come out with it and tell me "no" to something I asked. The whole friendship was hanging by a thread anyway and that happened to be when I reached my limit. I always tell people that my feelings won't be hurt if they're just honest with me from the beginning, but that seems to be beyond them.

There is third, forth and even fifth possible answer for yes/no question: "I don't know", "I'm not sure" and "I don't want to tell you.". When people give you a long answer and don't clearly say "I agree/Yes", "I disagree/No" they usually mean one of those.

To be honest I wouldn't know how to answer this question because I have no idea what you are asking about, what makes you think that way etc. So I would probably start with an "Well. I don't know..." and start thinking out loud.

But I know what you mean. I also hate it when people don't answer "Yes/No" for questions they should be able to answer clearly. For example my teacher recently started a beating around the bush monologue when I asked him if our homework due date is in 2 weeks. I still don't have a clear answer although the "in 2 weeks" from back then is just in 4 days from now. I wish he could just write important informations like this down. But he never does. I already missed a few homework due dates because of that.

Well the question you asked is a rather complex one. One that might not have a clear answer. I can't say because I'm not sure how he answered you, but I here are some explanations I can come up with for his behavior

1. He wasn't in the mood/too mentally tired to answer the question; so he might have been trying to change the subject without telling you straight up that he didn't want to discuss this, fearing that he might hurt your feelings/make you mad.

2. He wasn't sure how to answer it, but still wanted to say something; thus his vague answer

3. He wanted to provide you with a more detailed impression of what he thought rather than a yes or no; he might even contribute both thoughts for the idea and thoughts against the idea as to allow for a more in-depth conversation.

At least, these are things I might do in the situation.

If he told me he didn't know, then I would know his answer. I asked if he thinks the TV show does reverse psychology about stereotypes. My husband was able to say "it does" and I asked him how does he know and he said "you could tell" and I asked "how?" and he said it's subtle when I told him I couldn't pick up on it. Just answer and then start talking doing a dialogue lol.

Like I said, only with bureaucratic types and even more so when I have worded the question in such a way that a yes or no answer is the only logical one. But then I expect to get clear answers from bureaucrats as they are paid to guide me through the web of rules and regulations.
Thing that comes to mind with your online friend and the South Park question is that many people do not like to commit themselves to stating their opinion because on some things they just have little or no opinion. I have no opinion on the South Park question myself and have no qualms in telling you so much. I can think of a few people who would avoid a yes or no answer for no other reason that they don't want to commit to seemingly having an opinion whilst really they don't.
At the same time they would not want to tell me they have no opinion so go on a tangent and try to avoid the question alltogether. Social etiquette would be to go along but I can only handle so much of that so I tend to avoid people that avoid having an opinion

I still haven't logged back in messenger since this incident only because I don't feel like talking to her go figure. I guess I am still recovering from it.

I always answer with "I don't know" when I don't care for something or have no opinion so I always expect the same from others. We were just talking about an episode and then I brought that question up because I heard it from someone online and then my husband said the same too when I asked him about it. Now I have gotten curious if anyone else has noticed or share that same view so I asked my online friend too about it. Has South Park become a controversial topic people are too afraid to share their view about it? If they hold the "wrong" view, even about an episode, it might upset someone? That people can't even have an opinion about it anymore without anyone getting offended and it turning into a heated topic? What's wrong with being indifferent about something? There are tons of things out there I am indifferent about and some I might have a view about but it's not a real strong opinion so it's not going to get me upset if someone disagrees or holds a different view. I think a good thing is if someone doesn't hold an opinion, you will never have to worry about any disagreements or feeling someone is against you or worry about losing any friends and you can talk about personal things or about your feelings without worrying about getting judged.

Does your friend know how hard it is for you when people don't give a 'yes', 'no' or 'don't know' answer when you ask something? If not maybe you could talk to her about it? I know I would try my best not to do something a friend didn't like if I knew about it.

I don't think I have ever told her how hard it is for me. Next time we talk, I would have to be sure to tell her than asking "yes or no?" after asking a question.