My parents outright hate me.

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If that's the case then just stay away from them. Don't even bother having thanksgiving with them, do it with someone else, pretend they're strangers. Also you should tell your boss to just ignore them if they try to make up crap.

If you believe in God...and a loving one...do you have access to a Bible? The reason i have hung on to my Christian beliefs since childhood--in spite of seeing hypocrisy and many other things in the church that make me shake my head--I hang on to Christianity because i hang onto Christ. There is no other religion where God came down to earth to die to save sinful man. All other religions teach morality...but they teach that in some way man is responsible to become moral. Only in Christ do we see a perfect God coming to die for imperfect creatures, then perfecting them into His likeness.

The love of God for the people He created is stated all through the Bible--in the Old Testament He showed His love to the Jews and they turned their backs on Him over and over and over. Even so, He sent Christ to them--Jesus still came as a Jew to the Jewish people though the Jews had persecuted every prophet God had sent already. Then, when the Jews finally killed Him, salvation was offered to not only the Jews, but the Romans, Greeks, and every person in the whole world. The story captivates me every time. How God could love me still blows me away. I know my faults, failures and shortcomings and they are many. I feel completely unworthy of it...but He still offers it so I accept it and marvel at it.

I re-read C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity from time to time, though i have read it often already. Lewis has a way of explaining some of the baffling questions of God and of life in a way that i can understand. If you are unfamiliar with Lewis, he was an atheist who says he was dragged, "kicking and screaming," into the kingdom of God when he was confronted with who Christ really was as a person in history and its implications for Lewis himself. His Chronicles of Narnia are some of my favorites, though they are children's books. Aslan is a picture of Christ and the whole story of Narnia mirrors much that is found in the Bible. I am not much of a crier but i have read the series aloud to my kids and find myself fighting not to cry at many points--in many scenes of Aslan interacting with the children, it paints a picture of something that my heart yearns for.

All this to say, if you are looking for something bigger than yourself...if you are looking for Someone who is Love personified...that picture is painted in Christ. There are many on this forum who would beg to differ with me on this...and i am not sharing my view to start a debate here. But you are sharing your pain and i am responding with what has helped me with answering life's deep questions of what are we here for, what is my purpose, and where do we go after this life.

I think we all have a part in a bigger story that we will only find out when we "cross the Eastern Sea into Aslan's country."

Well, i have certainly put a lot of my 2 cents onto this thread, so i will let it with that in case anybody is tired of hearing from me. if you have further questions, you are welcome to pm me.

Please note this excerpt from the guidelines (sticky at the top of this forum)

"The Haven is protected more than any other forum on this site, so if someone is in distress and posts there it is for help and support from other members, not to debate with him/her about their religion or atheism. Trying to persuade an atheist to pray to God or Jesus for support is not appropriate in the Haven, similarly attacking a believers religious views in the Haven is not appropriate either."

The Haven is not the place to promote your religious views to others, unless an OP requests this. It can have a very adverse effect quite the reverse of what was intended, however benign the intention behind faith-promotion posts are.

OP I will leave the above post in place for now however if you want me to remove it, just let me know.

B19
(Moderating)

Ok, sorry you can remove if you want. i have seen other religious stuff on various threads and was not sure where lines were drawn. Must have missed this guideline--there are so many threads that i have missed a lot and have not meant to offend anyone or step outside guidelines.

Nah, it's all good. I take no offense. I am not an athiest.

In any case, I have decided to stop procrastinating in exploring places where I can safely talk about my spiritual beliefs. Tomorrow morning, I will hit the local Unitarian Universalist church, and I'll go to it for a few weeks to see if it clicks with me. Worst thing that will happen is it doesn't click with me, after all.

I may not be a fan of organized religion, but I do feel a need to explore what others believe in a non-judgemental setting. In any case, I would like to find a road map on my own spiritual journey. Or at least a compass and a flashlight. I do pray every day, but not to Jesus. I just pray to God, not defined by any religion, and thank him for the vast world of opportunity around me, and ask for the strength and the nerve to be the man I want to be. It is a crutch, and it may all be psychological, but f**k it, I won't knock it. It works for me, and if it makes me a better man, there is no reason for me to knock it.