Does anyone else feel this...?

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Whenever I make a mistake or have a perceived fault or shortcoming, I pull the brakes and stop my whole life and focus 110% on finding a solution and forget to enjoy what's happening around me. I've always lived in my head, maybe to avoid sensory issues. Maybe all aspies do this to avoid the same and it's what causes our intelligence?

But anyway, I don't enjoy life like I really should. It is very hard for me to be present. The result is important years of life wasted to unnecessary loathing. I can hardly live when I start on one of these obsessive self analyses. I go way too deep, like Jungian deep, think about myself 24/7 and it injures my life. I got fired this year for it and even my current job has me on probation.

I see some solutions... Love, simplicity, and gratitude. But how can I "lovingly" uproot and expose longstanding psychological issues? Do you know what I mean? I don't want to live my life like this. I'm almost scared to live again now that I feel like I've found the roots of some recent problems because what if I f**k up again? And I definitely will. But I don't want to lose another job again. I don't want to be swamped in repetitive thought again. And it has happened twice now and I'm only 20.

How do you guys deal with your faults and weaknesses? How do you not obsess?

With me:

I, basically, go through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs--with a twist.

I gain perspective by knowing that I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a bed to sleep on, a TV to watch, and a computer/tablet to use.

Then I make sure that my finances are in control (I'm in debt, so I have to think about that a lot, so I don't go 30 days late on anything). I take care of that REALLY QUICKLY...before I get into the emotional stuff.

Then I ponder the emotional situation I'm in. I assess whether I've hurt someone by my actions. If I have, I think about how to make amends--but I don't obsess about it. Instead, I try to be as clearheaded and rational as possible. I don't always succeed--but at least I make the attempt.

Making the attempt leads, ultimately, to Success, even if there are many Failures on the Path. One learns from Failures. If one doesn't fail, one doesn't succeed.

I can also teach others through both my failures and my successes. This, to me, provides myself with value and usefulness.

I feel fortunate that I have at least the first two rungs of Maslow's Pyramid intact. All I have to do, in this instance, is tinker with the "higher" levels.

And know that I will never attain full "self-actualization," which is the "highest" part of the Pyramid.

I just do the best I can.

We all fear failure. But I try to keep a certain idea in mind.
I will screw up. I can't avoid that. It's not an "if" but a "when". So I will work not to never screw up, but to make each one less damaging than the last. My mistakes will be new. My failures will not hold me back forever.
Honestly it's hard to hold that in my head when I need it most, but I find that it does help.

Last edited by Browncoat on 11 Dec 2015, 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Try to focus on your positives, and be sure to get enough exercise. Sometimes, you may need more exercise than other times.

To take yourself out of this obsessing on faults and weaknesses, allow yourself to indulge in a special interest. It turns the attention to something less upsetting.

I feel it. Somehow, I've managed to hold the same job for 7 1/2 years.. but I obsess over every failure. I always seek validation from others to feel as if I didn't, and it pushes people away. I guess it gets better with the more you work on something, but it's rough.