Stupid enough to get myself born .

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I was stupid enough to get myself born , even with the degree of AS I have , to be around before anyone with it might get treated a little nicer , and , maybe taught to deal with it .
I had a horrible thing happen to me when I was sixteen years old , it destroyed my life .
I have NEVER spoken about it here .
One of the reasons I dream of going to " uni "/the " real " college I never got to experience is that I think I might find people who would be symphathetic to me there . ~ who might console me
I actually out-loud made a " cry " noise while typing above , here in the SF Main Library .
I'm close to being thrown off here , I guuess , as I pointed out some of the " normal " things I don't have .

I know how you feel. As if nothing you do is right. Yet, you just want others to be happy, don't you? And, you want to be happy too. Like everything is overly complicated and difficult. As if it is hopeless to challenge such a world. But, it is not. I care about you. We care about you. No matter where you are or who you are with you must know that deep down there are people who want the very best for you just the same as you want the best for them. You are not alone and you will never be, so please summon your strength and try to think positively. Think about that dream you have and simply take a small step towards it and keep doing that until you gain the momentum necessary to have your dreams come true. They can and they will come true, but you have to be the reason why they do. You have to be strong sometimes. Let yourself grieve, let yourself feel what you have been holding in, but do not forget about your dreams and continue having faith in your future. You are special, do not forget that.

Don't be mad at yourself. Be mad at your surroundings.