Why do people on this forum always side with women?

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Your repeated SHOUTIng replies on this page strongly seems this is not about sly and is about a nerve hit based on prior conversations or things said -to you-.

You seem unaware of this, but sly has already adamantly stated that he is not depressed. I offered to send him (no cost to him) a few over the counter anti-depressants that might help, since even if depressed, he refuses meds in fear he'd lose his guns, but again, though you keep referring to him as depressed, he does not. Wilbur previously and gently suggested it and encouraged anti-depressants - as one of a pile of possible things to try. However, you seem to have dropped in on the conversation and interpreted it as the first, which it is far from, and blast out everyone in your path because of -your- history. The context here is sly, not you.

Meanwhile, you then reply with a few suggestions to him that have already been said, more than once, by more than one person and turned down. Again, there is a lot of history you seem to have missed.

I truly believe sly is depressed. Having lived through it somehow for many years and many meds and a shedload of misery, as stated in the other post, allows one to spot it in others. Having been stuck in it allows one to see ways it can pull you under and perpetuate itself (e.g. it saps all energy and life..so trying to fight it, you have nothing to fight with). That doesn't mean i know what will make him better. All i do know, the same as wilbur, is depression, unaddressed, unless you're lucky (in which case it'd already be gone), is a beast and won't just go away. There are 100 different things that may help it and, as mentioned, you may still be left with ect and even it's not magic. But the only way it is guaranteed not to change is if it is not treated at all. At which point, you have to try something, or just give up.

You're suddenly shouting at me about tough love when i never said, nor implied anything about 'tough love' in my post - nor would i ever say it was any version of a treatment --for depression-- (again, sly says He is not depressed). Clearly you've been through s**t from people and people have said some pretty crappy things. And i admire anyone who wants to stick up for another. But perhaps step back for a minute, put aside the hit nerve, and review this in context -about sly- and what is actually being said as well as the existence of previous conversations you are unaware of - not just things that were said to you.

Honestly though, that kind of thing just doesn't work with some people. I think most people who struggle need to have some form of real success to feel better about themselves. An activity where chance is a huge factor isn't a good one for building confidence. There are simply too many variables. I personally think it is better to have a few things you can have immediate success with. I like lifting weights. If I do it I am slowly able to do more repetitions and heavier weights. I can measure the progress. It's not like dating (or looking for a job) where you're often rejected over and over again and there seems to be no progress, until suddenly you get lucky. I'm just telling the truth here. I can't help that I'm more of a realist than most people. It seems to put me at a disadvantage because the usual "think positive" and other cheer-leading stuff just doesn't work for me if I don't have real tangible results.

I'm not a think positive type of person myself, not everything is going to work out, you are going to get rejected and it is going to hurt-- this is inevitable. My point is, it's a matter of perception. You got rejected, but, did you learn something in the interaction? Perhaps you learned what notto do.

Unlike weightlifting, failing to push the last rep is still progress when we're talking about learned behavior. My philosophy on social interaction is this: if variations of logic fail, just start throwing random s**t at the dart board until something sticks-- I mean hell, what else you gonna do? If you're afraid of being seen as a fool or a jackass or whatever, chances are people probably see that lack of confidence and see it anyways, so what have you got to lose?

The thing about confidence is it's just an act: you hold your body a bit different, you talk a bit different, and you expect a little more out of other people when they interact with you...that's all it is. You don't even need to "feel" it, just act it. You act it enough times and it becomes natural. It's not a lie or a falsehood, or any change in your character or even attitude, it's merely a different presentation you're giving people.

I don't think it's possible to diagnose someone on the internet. It does seem he might be thinking about his lack of a relationship constantly and that can definitely turn into depression. My depression is not a direct analogy to sly, and I never intended it to be. I don't know if sly is depressed. I don't know if SSRI's will help him with his problem. I've never felt they helped me all that much, so it's hard for me to advocate them as a solution. All I know is the people who are attacking Sly are not helping but harming him more. I don't f*****g care how "frustrated" they are over him not taking their advice, they are making things far worse. It isn't justified, period. I don't understand how so many people are defending bullying here. I really don't care what the context is. I just don't. You are free to ignore Sly if he annoys you. You have your own life. There is no justification for attack.

I'm not sure I totally disagree with you, Aristophanes, actually. I think maybe the goal should just be to practice talking to women casually. Not asking them out. To get better you have to take the pressure off. I'm just against trying to hyper-analyze everything you do or trying to act like a different person. That is extremely counterproductive.

Its simple, life is not fair, society lives in the illusion that only women are good and all men are bad guys, regardless of the nasty heartless women that even other women see as mean, cold and heartless. Its just the way it is, until society makes a change that is always how things will be.

Yes, very true. Based on posts throughout the forum, I think he is. But he says he's not, so i have to go with that.

However, if he or anyone were, i also agree that i too have no idea which of the med and non-med treatments would help. I only know of studied and anecdotal options and what has and (mostly) hasn't worked for me..but what will work for another..it's all a trial.

To be clear, i don't find sly annoying. I posted why i may get frustrated and it has zero to do with finding him annoying, nor not taking my advice. If i just found them annoying, i wouldn't care enough to remotely feel frustrated.

My point of context was simply that i don't think anything said was done with malicious intent (i.e. bullying/abusive/attack). You may be correct that what was said/how it was said is more harmful than not. Or it may not be as different people respond to different things in different ways. Ultimately though, i brought it up just that i don't think so many people here are defending bullying as, i know my intention and what i have read historically from wilbur, and what all she ended up saying, no matter how it came out or why, i really don't think her intention was that either.

I don't really want to talk about this anymore. It looked like an attack from my perspective and I reacted badly. I'm okay with you, but I don't know if I'll ever get along with wilburforce.

I'm not sure I totally disagree with you, Aristophanes, actually. I think maybe the goal should just be to practice talking to women casually. Not asking them out. To get better you have to take the pressure off. I'm just against trying to hyper-analyze everything you do or trying to act like a different person. That is extremely counterproductive.

You may be right on my use of the word confidence, but i have a reason for pushing it. I'm a believer in uncanny valley theory applying to humans. I think most autistics that are "passing" are also probably slightly off from "normal", just enough to tease an NT instinct that something's not quite right-- like deja vu, or "vibes". That's why most autistics have problems honing down specific problems in interaction and NT's can't really tell you what's wrong if they're trying to be helpful-- they don't even know why they feel that way. The reason I'm big on confidence is that if you give people a sense you're secure in yourself, it helps ease some of that uncanny valley tension in them.

That's why i view it as "presentation" and not a personality change, it really is just a few alterations. I mean confidence gives the sense you know what's going on, but let's face it, a meteor could hit you tonight and all the confidence in the world wouldn't stop it. It is a completely illogical thing I myself don't actually "feel", but i can play it and it does make interaction much easier. It's just what people expect and if you want to do well with people, you give them what they want.