Someone Please Help Me...I may not have a home

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I'm 23. I returned home from living on my own and working overseas in order to finish my studies. I study online and due to my diagnosis I have trouble studying and working at the same time.

Ever since I was a child my father, a former cage fighter, was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive towards me. Physically I'd get spanked with a belt, he'd do "pressure" points on me, smack me on the back of the head. Emotionally he'd mock me, call me ret*d, mock me for having panic attacks, and "troll" me. Actually physical confrontation has occurred before.

I'll add more later. I've go to try to get some sleep. I don't have any money, I can't drive. My only real friends are overseas. I'm in the US state of Pennsylvania. I wrote him a long letter telling him my true, harsh feelings. I bear some responsibility for how I have reacted. My mother wants to live in her own fantasy world.

To be honest I am afraid for my safety. I don't know what to do. I've never entertained the thought of suicide but to be honest I'm considering it at this moment. I'll update this later. If I don't I guess something f*cked up happened.

Worst case scenario go to a shelter. If they don't provide a service to do so then they should be able to direct you to somewhere that can help you come up with a plan to get your life better situated. I know it sucks and it takes some time but its better than just giving up before you have tried out all your options.

Yeah, like auntblabby said, keep in touch so we'll know how you're doing.