scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-8

I was sad when I thought I would never achieve my goals.

But then I realise I don't have any goals and I felt sadder.

Even if I get all the things I want I still won't be happy.

-9

-10

Before I felt like I was losing my ability to think rationally. Now I feel like I'm losing my ability to think.

Before I felt like I was losing control of my emotions. Now I feel like I'm losing basic cognitive function.

To feel my mind going from the inside. Not merely my sanity but my ability to think.

Sure I can still think and speak. I haven't literally turned into a vegetable. But my initiative, my ability to plan has gone. My executive function is even less than it once was.

For the last two days I've do nothing. The last two days seem to have gone by in the matter of minutes.

-9 hate vday

0.

starting to understand more of this catabolic repression and nucleic acid polymerase mumbojumbo, but i still dread the exams.

i spent an amazing evening with my GF this weekend, but that just means it'll be a matter of months before i get to do the same again. i wish she wasn't so busy.

i'm not burdened with the stress i had last semester, when i was trying to juggle a job and school at the same time, but...i'm unemployed.

it can't all be had.

-5

+1

-10.

I wish to die.

-5 no one seems to care about anyone but themselves

-5. Not feeling incredibly bad, but my emotions continue to be unstable as they have in recent times. I just want to feel emotionally stable. It's exhausting. I'm tired.

3.5

-5. Feel distant, disconnected from things, rather sad and lost.
I think I'm just all out of sorts with my routine being out of whack and mulling over too many things. Blergh.

7/ 1/2 tired as heck

-4

exams, again. extremely uneventful, these last few days. have a bigass form to fill out.

they're both gone at the same time.

and i don't have my lapis next to me.