I have no motivation
The thing with the idea of doing stuff for me rather than other people is that I don't feel the need to.
Does it matter that on my day off work today I slept till 1pm and then just sat messing about on my laptop?
Maybe I'd feel better if I left the house and did something, but do I really need to?
Nothing really matters in the long run. There's not really much point to anything. And no one cares. What I do doesn't really affect anyone.
Vendetta
for about the past ten years i have had little motivation
failed a lot of times
and a lot of social rejection
sometimes the failure and social rejection had powerful , long term effects that i did not imagine and could not have believed at the time
hence fear of failure and social rejection
motivation fear versus greed
its like cost benefit analysis
what do i rightly or wrongly perceive
the chances of success are? what happens if i succeed?
what happens if i fail?
emotions are not always logical
usually if i succeed, its like whooptie do
and the punishment for failure is subject to imagination
for example, five years ago, a precious lil "person" that told me she was my "friend" for 12 years dumped me. after an argument. disagreement. conflict
and after that i wasted a lot of time crying , venting, and ranting about her and it
but cost benefit analysis
what if she still told me that she was my precious lil"friend" to this day, then what
hold hands, skipping off into the sunset?
she is just not worth that much energy
in my wotrthless opinion, thus far, almost nobody that i have interacted with for a long time, is worth the energy it takes to interact with them
they are sometimes good in some ways
and nobody is perfect. and i have plenty of flaws
and if someone appeared perfect, then that to me seems more suspicious. not less.
"too good to be true"
an article claimed that police sometimes get suspicious of drivers with perfect driving
bobchaos
Blue Jay
Joined: 20 Aug 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 79
Location: Somewhere between the North pole and South pole
Does it matter that on my day off work today I slept till 1pm and then just sat messing about on my laptop?
Maybe I'd feel better if I left the house and did something, but do I really need to?
Nothing really matters in the long run. There's not really much point to anything. And no one cares. What I do doesn't really affect anyone.
This describes how I feel pretty much all the time. Why, say, keep my place clean, I'm the only one who lives here and it doesn't bother me...
Mind you, the answer to that specific question is: one day i'ma convince a girl to come home with me and I'd rather she doesn't drop dead from whatever bioweapon is brewing in a corner of my bathroom But yeah, doing things when no one else will benefit from them feels pretty pointless and I mostly do it because I'm just going through the motions, not because I really care... Doing things for myself is just not solid enough justification, has too low an impact on the world to be worth it.
Does it matter that on my day off work today I slept till 1pm and then just sat messing about on my laptop?
Maybe I'd feel better if I left the house and did something, but do I really need to?
Nothing really matters in the long run. There's not really much point to anything. And no one cares. What I do doesn't really affect anyone.
Yep. I've come to accept I don't matter nothing I do will make my life better and I died today no one would miss or notice except work who'd probably assume I just quit
for about the past ten years i have had little motivation
failed a lot of times
and a lot of social rejection
sometimes the failure and social rejection had powerful , long term effects that i did not imagine and could not have believed at the time
hence fear of failure and social rejection
motivation fear versus greed
its like cost benefit analysis
what do i rightly or wrongly perceive
the chances of success are? what happens if i succeed?
what happens if i fail?
emotions are not always logical
usually if i succeed, its like whooptie do
and the punishment for failure is subject to imagination
for example, five years ago, a precious lil "person" that told me she was my "friend" for 12 years dumped me. after an argument. disagreement. conflict
and after that i wasted a lot of time crying , venting, and ranting about her and it
but cost benefit analysis
what if she still told me that she was my precious lil"friend" to this day, then what
hold hands, skipping off into the sunset?
she is just not worth that much energy
in my wotrthless opinion, thus far, almost nobody that i have interacted with for a long time, is worth the energy it takes to interact with them
they are sometimes good in some ways
and nobody is perfect. and i have plenty of flaws
and if someone appeared perfect, then that to me seems more suspicious. not less.
"too good to be true"
an article claimed that police sometimes get suspicious of drivers with perfect driving
Thanks, loneliness has just really sucked the meaning of life and motivation from me. What I do always fails, and I don't have the motivation to put a ton of effort into it.
A French doctor born into a musical family (called Alfred Tomatis) treated patients using music.
He helped ADHD, autistic and depressed people.
The ear connects to many of the body's organs.
And i don't understand the detail but Mozart's violin concertos are meant to be as effective as taking a Valium.
He helped ADHD, autistic and depressed people.8
The ear connects to many of the body's organs.
And i don't understand the detail but Mozart's violin concertos are meant to be as effective as taking a Valium.
Ooh this is an idea I like. I think I'll give it a try.
Thanks. I love music. It's my passion.
jrjones9933
Veteran
Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage
I've lived with people for about six months now, after living mostly alone for over a decade. I feel better already. Checking my reality against consensus reality more often helps, as does getting a little annoyed often. I don't go as far off on lengthy flights of fantasy, and I have a better baseline ability to manage feeling annoyed by other people. Both of these factors make it easier for me to engage socially with less effort.
I had thought that living alone would give me more energy to intentionally socialize, but that didn't happen. I got lazy and intolerant.
I've done far more cleaning here than I did in my own home, exactly because of wanting to care for others more than I would care for myself.
_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade
Vendetta
You wrote that what you do "always fails"
If there is one thing you have ever succeeded at, then it is not "always fails"
Anyways though exaggeration for emphasis
Yeah I get it
Sometimes I think and feel that way too
But that is because I put too much emphasis on my numerous drastic failures and social rejection
And I got an intense fear of failure and rejection
But that does not mean I "always fail"
Anyways maybe it is just easier to notice and remember the failures than success
Failure feels more dramatic. At least to me
jrjones9933
Veteran
Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage
The thought of getting a flatmate after so long being used to my own space kind of scares me. I did not get on with my last flatmate and found her very stifling and controlling.
I don't know if it would do me as much good to invite someone into my house as it does to be the new housemate in an established location. I don't know why exactly, but I tend to demand more in the first situation and give more in the second situation.
_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade
About ten years ago, my cousin got a BS in Aerospace engineering.
And I told someone that used to volunteer with me
The volunteer said "that is great"
But the cousin has been unemployed since then (something like that)
The cousin had to default school loans
So. If something as seemingly good and innocent as a BS in Aerospace engineering could have bad effects, imagine all the other things that look good and later end up causing bad effects
Hence that justifies my gluttonous and lazy behavior
One thing is that I often (but not always) fail
The other thing is that if and when I succeed it is not always worth the cost benefit analysis
Furthermore, if I fulfill the goal, the goal could end up causing worse problems
So why bother doing anything?
He helped ADHD, autistic and depressed people.8
The ear connects to many of the body's organs.
And i don't understand the detail but Mozart's violin concertos are meant to be as effective as taking a Valium.
Ooh this is an idea I like. I think I'll give it a try.
Thanks. I love music. It's my passion.
Do you play any instruments?
I'm about to get my first guitar lesson. Hope the Mozart was helpful!
Fifasy
In fifth grade my precious lil "parents" sent me to six months of clarinet lessons
And I hated it
In eighth grade, took band at school. Clarinet
Ninth grade took marching band. Two weeks. Trombone. Performed once.
Then school started. Japanese class was the same time. So took Japanese
Once in a while want to play trombone
But cost benefit analysis
Lessons cost $$. Trombone cost$$
Nowhere to practice
Do not have that kind of patience
Impatient
Lazy
Apathetic
And whatever effort I put will not be worth the outcome
There is no law that says I have to take trombone
Nobody is holding a gun to my ugly fat stupid head and telling me to take trombone
Nobody is financially bribing me to take trombone
Nobody is peer pressuring me to take trombone
So
As usual I don't do nothing too hard
Burnout
Lazy
Impatient
Sensitive hearing
Apathetic
Cowardly
Fear of failure and social rejection
Too far gone
Lost cause
Logistics