Been conned twice by the same person and boss blames me

Post Reply New Topic

I volunteer at a gift shop at a local hospital. Two incidents occur. The first one was the week before Christmas. This guy comes in and acts as if he was interested in buying a smartwatch. I showed him a few ones that we had and he tricked me into turning my back on him. I turned around and the guy had taken two of the smartwatches. The police had never caught the guy and I hadn't heard anymore.

The second time was today. At first I didn't realize it was the same guy. Last time he was wearing a unique jacket, but this time he wasn't. He said he wanted to return the smartwatch that he bought on Wednesday. At first I hesitated because he did not have a receipt. So I called my boss and she told me to wait until she got there. I tried to tell him that, but he insisted he had bills to pay, he had to leave, etc. I found the transaction on the system, so I gave him the refund. I thought, ok everything's good now. Then he went to buy a soda and gave me a 20 dollar bill. The 20 dollar bill looked messed up and I should had known better, but then I started to panic and another customer was waiting for me. There is a panic button on the bottom of the drawer but I always forget it's there. Anyway I gave him the change and he left. After he left everything came together and I realize he had given me counterfeit money and I am 70% sure it was the same guy. Also, when he bought the smartwatch on Wed, he had given the other cashier $100 bill and we later found out that was counterfeit.

Generally, I know common sense and common scams that happen. However, in the moment, I tend to panic and make wrong decisions. So I'm already feeling victimized and hurt and I'm blaming myself and being hard on myself. Then my boss arrives. She reacts like how any other store manager and NT would react, but then she starts reading me the riot act about how I did not do what was told and just basically went after all my weaknesses. I told her how I was feeling and she was basically like good you should feel that way. She didn't say it exactly like that, but it was the clear message. Then she goes well there's nothing you can do about it it's done. On top of that the other cashier decides to turn her phone off for whatever reason so I'm stuck taking all the heat. Finally, she states I should had known where the panic button was. Maybe she feels she's given me "tough love" but I believe "tough love" is a bunch of BS. I decided to give her all my cash (I had more money in the bank and I can always go to the ATM) but she refused to take it. She clearly blames me for what happen again but wants to act all high and mighty! I'm happy her brain works fully and all, but no need to look down on others who have mental problems. And I truly believe that she doesn't believe in the concept of mental illness at all which is disgusting to me!

I don't need any advice I just need to vent more than anything. Overall, it took a huge shatter on my confidence levels which I already struggled with and I feel I am incompetent to society and I am eventually doom. I was supposed to go to work at my real job. I asked my boss there if i could come in later and she decided to give me the day off. All I can say is thank goodness. Anyway sadly I feel this won't be the last time it would happen to me since I am easily persuade and if overwhelmed I go in panic mode.

Young me can relate.

I used to work on a cash desk and someone came up for a refund without a receipt. It's a bit different because I saw the customer on a regular basis and she wasn't a dodgy character. But her mum had come in earlier in the day asking for a refund because they had both paid for the same service accidentally at different times. I said I couldn't refund her without a receipt. I asked my boss about it later and he said I'd done the right thing. But when the daughter came in later and asked for the refund I asked her to have a seat and I'd get my boss. He was on the phone and couldn't come to the desk. It felt like an eternity. She came up and asked if he knew she was waiting and seemed annoyed to be kept so long. I panicked and refunded her. He eventually appeared and wasn't very happy that I had refunded her.

I used to be unable to say no. I always felt like I didn't understand what was going on and the other person must be right.

Now that I am older I have the confidence to say no to people. I have experience behind me and I know that it's ok to tell people to wait. I don't owe them anything and they can be as uppity and annoyed as they want. I still don't have to do what they want.

Time will give you more confidence. Yes, you did the wrong thing. But it's experience. You will learn from this and be more cautious in the future. You will become stronger and have the confidence to say no. It's one of the greatest skills you can learn.

Customers are often wrong. Don't treat them like they are always right. They are not and don't let them tell you that they are.

Yes, you everyone makes mistakes like this when they are learning.

It’s been my experience that humans aren’t there to support you when you need it, but boy are they there to tell you when you’ve made a mistake. Maybe you can try role-playing situations like these to practice different responses? I hope you get your confidence back soon.

Thanks to everyone for responding. First I won't be going back to the gift shop for a while if not ever. Some of the stress is probably coming from the fact that I've been working a different job in an office setting, so I was only at the gift shop once a week so I was forgetting little things. I do have trouble saying no and I tend to be a people pleaser and trusting of everyone. Yes sadly I think he would be back, but I have hope that he would be caught. Finally, yes people are definitely quick to point out your mistakes and shortcomings I have experience that plenty of times and I see some people do the same to other people. I do get compliments on my strengths, but it's so hard to registered the compliments. It feels almost forced and fake, yet I quickly accept every criticism in the book. I'm probably going to have to distance myself from my former boss for a while, but in the meantime, I'm going to try to focus on the positive aspects of my life. It won't be easy but I have to do what I have to do.