When people don't follow your advice.

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OP seems to have a messiah-complex, hallelujah.

I'm not sure what, if any, progress they've been able to make in terms of securing temp day labour work while crashing on a friend's couch. Communication is sparse - only when they have wifi. Sent a couple messages to find out where they're at. If they're regressing day by day, I think it's time to consider other options. I can kinda foresee making a few phone calls and ensuring there's a spot to crash at the youth homeless shelter in Vancouver & helping these two out with laundry/shower & a ride into town. If there are openings at each of the male/female dorms, it'd be a fantastic place for them both to work their way back up from zero as they'll have food/shelter etc & be forced to keep a schedule and stay sober. They can get temp work, and even full time jobs, and stay there for almost as long as they need to as they save up to rent a place again. This may be their best course of action & I can continue to personally mentor them both and won't have to worry one bit about their situation deteriorating further. Teamwork may be the way to go on this one.. time will tell if that's the way things shake out, or if Maybe, just Maybe, they're still able to crash at their friends while working temp gigs.

I have a little work to go help my friend out with on his renovation project, then some volunteer work this afternoon, and then ideally I'll end up at the beach this evening. Depending on when I hear from these two, maybe I'll make the drive back to their part of town & help them out as early as tonight. Hmmmm - even better if they hopped a bus and met me at the beach tonight!

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

He’s a terrible communicator and didn’t answer most of my questions but did say they have a crash spot and are looking for jobs. I’d rather see them struggle and work their way out of this than give up, that’s for sure. But at the same time I don’t want to cut them off from help/advice and will direct them to a youth homeless shelter if they can’t get a few ducks in a row fast enough on their own.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

That's the thing, he's a VERY polite guy. I believe him being inconsiderate is about as intentional as ASD people being socially clueless.

Regardless, I've certainly changed my approach as clearly what I was doing wasn't working as intended, so time for something different.

I followed up with them and let him know that if a youth homeless shelter is their very best option to depend on while they get back on their feet that I'll make the calls and even drive them there. He told me that they have a friend's couch to crash on while they look for jobs. As long as they're not literally on the streets it's okay by me if they struggle to work themselves out of this.

He's contacted me a few times asking if I had a few bucks for food/bus fare etc. Nope. Besides, I was a few cities over.

I'm back at home near them now and he called to tell me she had a job interview that went well and he has a job offer but needs to get his cell phone operational. I told him many weeks ago if he works ONE day for a temp agency he can pay his phone bill for a month and then use it to find work.

I'm chatting with him right now. Apparently they don't even have a friend's couch to crash on anymore and are outdoors 24/7 and have no access to a shower or laundry. They won't freeze to death but this isn't exactly a viable plan.. as even if they get jobs I'm not sure how they'd get to them or have breakfast/lunch etc.

I'm now asking him at what point they're going to consider using a youth homeless shelter as a home base while they get back on their feet. These places and services are available. They simply have to be willing to abide by their rules - like no drinking/drugs. That's about the only rule I can see them being pissy about since they both like to smoke weed. Sometimes you have to give up life's little luxuries in order to get the help & guidance you desperately need.

Apparently they have a tent.. that's better than nothing, but these two seriously lack the work ethic, discipline, focus, determination & resourcefulness to work themselves out of this situation and IMO their very best bet is to get themselves spots in youth homeless shelters where they have a place to lay their heads, food to eat, and guidance from adults to help get them on track, as well as transitional housing once they're working full time.. and then on and up. I'll likely see them at some point today or this evening and have a conversation about how things are going and what their options are.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I talked with them for a couple of hours last night about their options for shelter & employment etc.

They'd prefer to camp out vs. go to a shelter because they both say they don't feel comfortable in a shelter environment and feel more capable of working when they're not in a shelter making them feel depressed. He also managed to make it 4 weeks before camping outside on his mother's deck while working at a restaurant so feels he has the survival skills to make it work in a tent situation for a month or so while saving up the money they need to put a deposit on a place to live again.

We discussed how they could possibly make it work by working for a temp agency that pays daily & using that money to pay his phone bill for a month, buy groceries, do laundry at a laundry mat, shower at the rec centre. At the moment they had two loaves of bread and some jam, so I gave them a jar of peanut butter so they can stay alive long enough to earn a few days pay.

I acknowledged that they both need a shower and to wash their clothes & bent over backwards to arrange that for them where I live so that they'd be clean and ready to go to work Monday morning for a temp agency that pays daily as in their current state they're unlikely to be given work. They agreed to contact me at, or soon after, 11am, because I had other plans for the afternoon, but would stay home long enough to allow them to shower & do a load of laundry. I'd have made them a meal, too.

He contacted me at 1:30pm as they'd slept in. Frustrating and I told him so. I don't care if we were up late talking about their options, he needs to be where he needs to be to do the things he needs to do to help himself - the same with going to a job. I told him last night, and again today, that that is a major reason why I don't think the two of them are going to be able to pull this off this week and by next weekend I expect that they'll have to reluctantly accept that they have no choice but to move into youth homeless shelters and accept their help and guidance while they get back on their feet. I applaud their effort to Try, as I always will applaud anyone's effort to Try, but if they don't succeed at some point they have to shift course and Try something different.

Here we are 4pm with scant communication this afternoon and me messaging to ask what's up after he messaged to ask if I had $10 as they wanted to buy food at a local grocery store and "needed something to do today." WTF? They have survival food and their plans for today were to shower and do laundry, hop online here and plan their day tomorrow in terms of what time they have to catch a bus in order to go to the temp agency that pays daily so they can work & get paid every day instead of continuing to do the exact opposite - applying for jobs.. he was offered a job, but can't start it without a working cell phone, and I've told him for months if he works One day he can pay his phone bill for a month and use it to secure employment. Instead, they went to a one agency a couple weeks ago and filled out paperwork but didn't get a call and didn't bother to go to others.

In the end he says he's texting with family. WTF? He could be texting from here while his clothes are washing. At no point does he say he's not going to come over and accept the help I've offered. He says he's waiting for his uncle to come slip him a few dollars. His uncle could have met him here, too. I told him the world isn't nearly as patient as I am.. 5 hours late with no communication isn't nearly the same as 20-30mins.

I gave him a blast about how rude and inconsiderate he is of my help and time and told him to wash up at his uncles or a gas station bathroom and to only contact me for advice, or for me to make a call to the youth homeless shelter on his behalf if he doesn't have a phone to do so, and if he contacts me about money it had better be to tell me he has some to repay me what he owes me. I told him it's impossible to help him because he refuses to do ANYTHING to help himself.

I have very little hope of the two of them setting an early alarm and going to a temp agency first thing in the morning. They claim to have the desire to make this work for themselves, yet prove time and time again by their actions that they do not. I told him when they're dirty and hungry enough I'll make the call to the youth homeless shelter for them.

Seriously bizarre, perplexing, behaviour. A real head scratcher tbh. Every time he's offered an opportunity and actual real help he completely squanders it. You'd think he'd have jumped all over this second/last chance to Try to make a go of things, but nope. What a waste of the best weather afternoon all week, too. I was going to help them out early in the day and then go hang with friends at the beach all late afternoon/evening once their laundry had finished. I'm more pissed off about not going to the beach while it was nice an sunny out than I am about the money he owes me and likely will never repay, or at least not for a long time, anyways. If he contacts me again soon, or in a long time, I'll text with him, but I am most certainly not going to go out of my way to do him any favours after he completely threw this offer of help in my face as if he doesn't need it and has zero respect for my time and help whatsoever. Sad, really, because he truly is a nice kid & his girlfriend isn't a terrible person either and she can't return to her family home because her father is a horribly abusive man. Just totally bizarre to me that someone could be handed MORE than ample help, that they need, and they won't do a damned thing to help themselves. At this point I'm actually rooting for them to be dirty and hungry enough to accept the help and guidance that a youth homeless shelter can provide them. I believe it truly is their best hope.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Wow. Unbelievable. I texted my sister, who lives in the area and knows him, to tell her not to give them anything that enables them to continue using people vs. doing anything to help themselves. She informed me that he's spent the day messaging them asking for things/pot/cash. I told her what's transpired in the last 24h and not to give them ANYTHING or feel bad for them because I've bent over backwards to help them with the help they actually need and they've completely disrespected it and themselves in the process and don't deserve handouts from anyone. I messaged him and gave him a blast for harassing my sister and brother-in-law and told him very bluntly that they are a family of three surviving on one low income and they are two able bodied people who refuse to work. I made it abundantly clear he's not to contact her, and also to her that she's not to feel sorry for him nor give him anything.

About the only thing I'm willing to do for those two at this point is help facilitate their move into a youth homeless shelter where they can be given the support and guidance they need. Other than that I consider my time and money spent as a sunk cost that will never be recovered - and I'm okay with that, because I've truly done everything within my power to help that kid. If he ever contacts me with any of the money he owes me, great. If not, oh well, life goes on.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.