Sarcastic comments about still living at home

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So, I'm in my early 30s and I've never lived independently. I think that doing so would be extremely stressful for me.

I was chatting to an online friend about his new job, and he suggested that I should apply for a job there as I'm good at that sort of role. So I explained that it would be difficult for me as it's hundreds of miles from home, and that I wouldn't want to leave my family, friends and everything I've ever known.

He is aware I'm autistic, but he made a couple of sarcastic replies saying "What if you want to get married one day?"and "You can't live with mummy forever!"

It was the second comment that really hurt me, as it reminds me of the sorts of things that bullies have said to me in the past. I'm really upset that a friend would say that sort of thing - I expected better from him.

I can't see me ever getting married - I'm too weird, who would want me?! (although I suspect this guy wants a relationship, he has hinted a lot but never explicitly admitted it), and I'm happy with my life how it is and I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

Sarcasm is not always meant to be offensive , it is sometimes used as humour to lighten the mood or give you a good laugh.

Sarcasm is a minefield when autism is involved , some of us get it , some of us don't and some don't find sarcasm humorous at all.

It was a steep learning curve for me here knowing who I could be sarcastic with and who I shouldn't , I offended someone recently with sarcasm but I was just trying get a laugh.

If he is indeed a friend then I doubt he was trying to be hurtful perhaps you should let him know that you find the sarcasm hurtful and unhelpful and it is too easily misunderstood by someone on the spectrum - just a thought.

Aside from your friend problem (which I have no advice because I suck at relationships) I have to say, just do what is best for you and be practical. Don't do what people think you should do just out of embarrassment at not fitting in. You have to survive in this tough economy. You have to live with your choices, not them. So, go at your own speed and be practical about what you can and cannot achieve. And don't let it get you down. Instead, just be proud that you can make realistic goals when so many rush head first and get themselves into trouble as a result. This economy is ROUGH and it's not the 60's anymore where college is affordable and people could retire. The cost of living is crazy high. Bleh... Anyway, just don't judge yourself too harshly by "society's norms" we were not built for that anyway.

I wish I still lived at home. I think I would be hapier.

Are you sure it was sarcasm? Unless he sad it in sarcastic tone of voice those might be normal questions/statements.

Asking what you are going to do if you ever get married is valid, given your resistance to move out. And you could just say "Me and my spouse are going to live at my parents house or build a house nearby".

A lot of families live like that. In my uncle house currently 3 families are living: he with his wife, my cousin with her husband and a son and her brother with wife and daughter. The house has 2 floors and for now the youngest couple is living in cousins old room at uncles floor but they are building a new house in the backyard.
I was pretty surprised they both decided to live there - the area is pretty secluded, a few houses and lots of fields, you can't go anywhere without a car and the only preschool is 50minutes walking distance, nearest corner shop and bust stop 30 mins walk. But they seem to like it.
My father was the only one of his 4 siblings who moved out from there (and only moved 20 kms away, to the city where my mom lived). Everyone else (that includes grand grandma, her other kids and their families) is living house by house or on different floors of one house.
That also proves you can actually live with your mummy forever. My dads oldest (autistic, unmarried) sister still lives with grandma downstairs and their youngest sister took the attic, where she lives with husband and their two girls. They have to pass grandmas kitchen to go out from the house and they share basement/boiler room.

I moved out of my family house to a big city 40kms away. I am the first one in my dads family since a few generations who moved that far (in my mother family side my granddad moved 150kms to marry my grandma so my move wasnt that unusual). And it was scary enough, I still can't imagine myself moving much further. Well. I can imagine it but it terrifies me. I also have a friend that invites me to move hundreds of miles away(from Poland to America) and it makes me really uncomfortable. I believe even NTs would be scared of suddenly moving that far! It's perfectly normal to be afraid of losing your friends, family, home, safe zone etc. all at once!

I hate it when people subtly criticise about living at home. These days, in the UK, more and more people in their 20s and even 30s are still living with their parents because of the ridiculous price it is to even rent an apartment.

I've only just moved into my boyfriend's apartment, but just before I did and was telling everyone that I am moving out, everybody kept saying things like "well you're an adult, it's about time". They meant well and were just being proud of me, but I still wish people wouldn't keep reminding me of my age. I know I'm an adult but I hate being called it, if that makes sense. I prefer "grown up".

Rent is insanely expensive here in America too. Even in the hood, rent is ridiculous. You pretty much have to be elderly or a single mom to get housing assistance.

My sister and I both still live at home with our parents and probably will for a long time because we will probably never have jobs that pay enough to cover rent and we don't have driver's licenses. I failed the road test four times. My sister can't even pass the written test for the learner's permit. My sister hasn't had her first job yet. She has applied for quite a few places many times and can't even get an interview. She has talked to managers too. I work part time at an after school program. Part time is about as much as I can handle in terms of jobs working with kids.

My brother is Neurotypical. He lives with his girlfriend. They both have to work full time and make at least $12.50 an hour each to pay their bills. Right now, my brother is the only one working because he and his girlfriend got laid off from their previous jobs at a call center. My brother went back to his old carpentry job. He may have to move back home if his girlfriend doesn't get a job soon. My brother is finding out just how expensive it is to be out on his own.

People shouldn't judge you, me, or anyone else for choosing to live with our parents. It's not our fault that the cost of living is so high and wages are so low. Some of us don't have wealthy parents and grandparents to pay our bills for us when a job is lost or the rent goes up.

In the us society says everyone is epected to live on their own after 18 . Some parents even kick their kids out on their birthday regardless of if they have anywhere to go. Being homeless will teach them to be mature they say.

I’m juded a lot for working part time not owning a car and living with family. Not off family. Me and my family rent a place together same as room mates would but even this is seen as horrible. I can only imagine people who live in their parents house are seen as losers too.

Not that living alone would help me. It’s the whole package or in our case lack of the whole package that dooms us.
Atleast in your case men are much more accepting of women in said situation. I’m going be alone and friendless for life. At least renting with my family means if something happens to me someone might Save me or very least find my body. If I lived alone and died no one would know until my rent was overdue. Still eventually my family will die and then what i dont know.

So yes people are going judge as as losers, we don’t fit societies requirements to be normal.

In truth, many threats are made to kids that they will be "kicked out when you're 18." Even to me.

But this hardly ever happens.

It's true that you, Sly, are in a better situation when you're around family. At least you pay rent to them, rather than totally depend upon them.

That's more a "real man" thing than just sitting around all day playing video games, and not contributing to the house at all.

Thanks for your replies. I told my friend how his comments made me feel, and he apologised for upsetting me and said that wasn't his intention. So it is ok now.

For me, living at home is not a matter of cost - I have a fairly good job - it's more that I would find it difficult to take care of myself and would probably feel lonely (especially as I don't have a partner to live with, like many other people my age).

Living at your parents' home is a weakness, and like all weaknesses, you should expect it to be used to attack you mercilessly.

That was a smart thing your friend did, Sly. How did he do, ultimately?